The Steelers Offseason and Mike Lange

TD:
This is the Sports Porch Black and Gold with your hosts, the Technical Director, the Grand Schwabini, and Hockey Jesus. Come on, Pittsburgh. Let's show a little Steelers, Penguins, and Pirates love. The Sports Porch Black and Gold starts now.

SPEAKER_06: Out right side Murphy, shoot he's aiming, rebound on Lemieux! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Grand Schwalbini: I thought we were going to get a little scratch my back with a hacksaw. We can do that.

TD: Welcome to the Sports Sports Black and Gold Edition. You do not see our faces right now because you see the face of the voice of the Penguins, Mike Lang, who passed away sadly earlier this week. It was, of course, all over the internet, all over Pittsburgh, and we wanted to make sure we did a little tribute there to Mike Lang. Legendary, absolutely legendary broadcaster for the Pittsburgh Penguins. Did you know he did the Pirates for a little while? He did. I did hear that. Yeah, with Steve, with the Prince. Steve Blass, yes. So, before we go any further, welcome to the Sports Sports Black and Gold. This is the Black and Gold edition all over the world on Facebook Live, on YouTube, on X and on the Gram. I am your technical director coming here. Hey, thanks for putting up the Steeler sign. I appreciate that. I got rid of the Eagles coming, coming to you from the basement, the basement studios, which is the much maligned basement studios in Monroeville. It's pretty messy down here. It is now again, uh, across from me is the grand Schwabini to my left in the studio is hockey Jesus. And, uh, of course you can catch the sports sports podcast. We drop it after every show, anywhere you get your podcast, the IR radio app. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and I'm going to drop a comment right now. You can listen to the Sports Porch on Radio PGH. That is our live streaming internet radio station. By the way, our listeners have gone up like 2,000% over the last month. Really? Yeah, I'll show you guys the stats after the show. You mean from two to three? Yeah, no, from like- 2,000. No, no, no. Two to like 20. I'm kidding. Guys, in the hundreds. Oh, really? Yes, I'll show you the stats.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

TD: Yeah. Which by the way, you can check at any time. Is it my dance mixes? It is your dance mixes. Uh, if you're not watching on YouTube right now, we encourage you go on over to YouTube and subscribe at the sports sports podcast. We're growing that channel. We put out shorts there. We put out shorts on our tick tock page. You just find us the sports sports. You see the black and gold logo on Twitter. Uh, so after the show, we cut things up and we put out shorts for the rest of the week, some hot takes and stuff like that. And look, if you hate us, we love you. We love them. We love those fans. Show us the hate. That's what we want.

HJ: Where else are you going to get a good 45 minutes to an hour of sports talk?

TD: That's right. Straight. Without commercials. There's not going to be any breaks here, people. No, we don't take any breaks. We go at it hard.

Grand Schwalbini: Times like these were made for tasters' joy.

HJ: Wow, you're really showing your age with that one.

TD: Oh, commercial. Yeah, coffee. All right. Without further ado, let's move on here. I do have Hockey Jesus, Steve, to my left in the studio. And, you know, Mike Lang, the legend Hockey Jesus, I'd like you to memorialize him. I'm going to say, and OC on Instagram says pens are brutal. Yeah, we're going to do Hockey Jesus Yeah, to start the show. And what does that mean? Well, you can follow Hockey Jesus on our YouTube channel at the Sports Sports Podcast. Hockey Jesus preaches after every single Penguins game. Almost everything. For the most part. Well, they're not doing well. So I understand after doing the Buccos report a couple of years ago, it's hard when they're losing. They're not that bad. But you can catch him on the podcast after every Pens game. He did the Four Nations tournament. He has the counselor on with him. I did. Yeah. And it would be fitting to start the show this week with Hockey Jesus talking about Mike Lang. I will tell you, I was telling Mark before our other show, not originally being from Pittsburgh, but having roots here in my grandparents and living here now for 31 years, I did not know before I met you of either Myron Cope, or Mike Lang, but I watch a lot of sports in my life. I've listened to a lot of it now, as we all have. And I must say that between Myron Cope and Mike Lang, I really do believe this, that Pittsburgh had two of the greatest sportscasters of all time. I mean that, up there with Harry Carey. I mean, if you put Myron Cope, now this is a tribute to Mike Lang, but if you put Myron Cope in a Chicago in Wrigley Field and had him call the Cubs game, he would have had his own steak restaurant. You know what I mean? He was incredible. And Mike Lang, the way that he would call a hockey, I didn't even care about hockey. And when I would listen to the radio and hear him calling games, if I was driving around at night for work, I would actually leave and this is true story. I would actually leave the games on just to see if they scored a goal to hear him call that play. Yeah, because it was unbelievable.

HJ: His goal scoring calls were some of the best.

TD: Unbelievable. And the way that he came up with those phrases, it's been all over talk radio, but I'm going to give you this one little story. I was at Jurgles in the North Hills back in the 1990s.

HJ: It's not there anymore.

TD: It's not there. Well, it's up in Warndale. It used to be on Babcock Boulevard in the North Hills.

HJ: You were there with Chuck, I'm sure.

TD: Chuck might've been there that night. He might, Chuck might've been there, but I, I was there dancing, drinking, you know, the whole who, there was a guy, there was a guy who was sitting at the bar, reading a paper, reading the sports page, uh, drinking a beer with ice in it. Mm. And I didn't know who it was. And one of my friends with me said, do you know who that guy is sitting next to you? And I said, no, I have no idea. He said, that's Mike Lang. And I was like, what in the hell? I mean, this place was loud. And I was like, what in the hell is he doing here? I mean, I get it if he wants to go have a drink. I mean, who cares? Yeah. But they said he loves blues music. Yeah. Blues band. That's true. He does. That's my only personal interaction with Mike Lang, but it's stuck with me my entire life. Did you say hello? No, I didn't. I didn't say hello. I didn't feel like I didn't want to bother him. That's exactly right.

HJ: Maybe you were embarrassed of your inebriated status and the fact that you didn't know him probably didn't help.

TD: I think it was both of them. Right. But I'm just saying that like what happened when he passed away and they started talking about him on the radio. Yeah. That memory just came back to make sense. Like flooded back. It flooded back. Yes. Yes. Asshole. Anyway.

HJ: I was not as fortunate to even be in the same room.

TD: I mean, I can't say I met him. I just know, you know, there he was. Then I found out that he liked to drink Miller Lite with ice cubes in it. I'm like, Oh my God, he had a Miller Lite with ice cubes.

HJ: Yeah. He would have, uh, for the 12 years that he did the radio with, uh, bore, they, he said that after the game, they would just have one beer and they would kind of just, you know, at the end of the game, kind of come down with one beer and just talk about, you know, what, what happened with the penguins and how, how they think the broadcast went.

TD: Yeah. And Marvin is or Mike Lawrence in the house. Mike Lang was a legend. Absolutely. H.J., what is your first memory of Mike Lang? Now, he started calling Penguins games in 1974. Yeah. Yeah.

Grand Schwalbini: So when we were four. Yeah.

HJ: I miss those games.

TD: I'm sure you do.

HJ: You have you have. So first, Mike Lang is a legend. The thing that really is remarkable about Mike Lang is he never played a lick of hockey in his life.

TD: That's interesting.

HJ: He came from California and he had to learn the game. He literally had to learn everything about the game cause he knew nothing about it. So he came here in 1974 and then in 1976 they gave him the permanent job, which he held until I think 20, 20, 20, 21, 21, 2021. And my memories are not good during the bad years because, you know, I was kind of a Fairweather fan. Although I do remember that call on the Lemieux goal when he was a rookie. That was pretty amazing. I'm like, who is this guy? You know, Mike Lang. And then when they had their Stanley Cup run in 1990 and 91 and 92, that was the most memorable Mike Lang things that you could, like the call there, that was during the Boston Bruins game in their first run for the Cup. And they came back, they were down two games to nothing. They came back to win four games and then actually won the next four. Won eight straight against Minnesota. And that was their first cup. But the thing that's remarkable about Mike Lang is, If you listen to him on the radio, you could picture the way the guys were moving on the ice. Like you could, if you, if you were a visual person and you're listening to the radio and you were listening to Mike Lang, you could literally see the guys skating in front of you. That's what was amazing. Like I listened to some, I try and listen to it now on an NHL network when I'm in the car listening to games. It's just not as good. It's not as vivid. He would make the game very vivid with the way he would be able to say which way the puck was going, how it was going, who had it. He was seamless when he would do that. And nobody, I don't know, it's going to take a while for somebody to get to that level. And the thing about Mike Lang was such a humble guy. Everybody who has a story about him says how, you know, he loved to talk about hockey. It was like that time that you and I, Chris, we were at that one charity event and Bork was there and Bork was handing out his rings, you know, putting it on. Mike Lang was like that kind of guy. He wanted people to experience hockey. He would have hated that ceremony because he hated things that were about him. He wanted to make it all about the game of hockey and the Pittsburgh Penguins, and he loved the city too. So, you know, it's a tremendous loss for the Pittsburgh Penguins, but they did a great job with the tribute. And I think eventually you'll probably see a statue somewhere. Either of him or his vaunted microphone and headphones. Did you see they put that out at the arena on Saturday? I guess he was infamous for wearing these headphones and microphone that were like literally from the 1970s.

TD: Yeah, I saw pictures of him in the late 2000s.

HJ: And Borky was telling the story like during like one of the cup runs, they had to get a backup pair and they were so old, they couldn't find parts for it. It's kind of like if you think of like Sidney Crosby now with his gear, because he's been wearing the same gear since he's been a freshman, since he's been a rookie in the NHL. So he had to hold the the the cord just the right way so his voice could come through the microphone. So so people could hear him. And he would like you couldn't squeeze it too hard. He was saying he was like, just had the right touch. And he was always fiddling with his cord ever since then. Yeah. And I'm sure there are a thousand stories about that. But rest in peace, Mike Lang. Your memories will not be forgotten. Your words will forever be in Pittsburgh Penguin's mind.

TD: Yeah, well, and that's the thing. He was with them when they were horrible. And, and that was the thing is that, and I heard, um, you know, a couple of the older players that are, that are still around talking about those years and saying that regardless of how bad the penguins were, he always made it sound like it was an exciting event. And they had like a 50 goal score, you know, back then, but they just weren't a good team.

HJ: Well, and the thing about Mike Lang too was he would tell you, the truth. Like he wouldn't, he wouldn't be a Homer. Like he would say, boy, they're not having a good game tonight that, you know, he was always positive about the penguins, but he was always realistic to say tonight, they just didn't have it. They're going to have to get it back tomorrow. And the other thing, his instincts for the game were pretty uncanny. Like he would be like, man, I just feel like, I just feel like Max Talbot's going to get a goal tonight. And boom, that game, he'd get a goal or something like that. He just had real good instincts for the way the game was played, which is remarkable for not even playing any of it.

TD: Yeah. Yeah. That, that's a part of it that I didn't know. I mean, I guess it, it, it doesn't surprise me because I think there's a, there's a lot of people out there who, who never at a high level at least, or even at, especially in 1974. Yeah. Yeah. Who never played.

HJ: The penguins were only around for at that point, seven years.

TD: So yeah. Well, Mike Lang, uh, into the great ice rink in the sky, he's up there with the legends. I'm sure he'll be in the hall of fame if he's not already, he's already in, he's already in the hall of fame. He will be missed because I have listened to Penguin's broadcast since then and all credit to the guys. Does Borky still do it? He's still doing it, right?

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, he's on the television. If I could maybe get a word in. Sure. Yeah. So Hockey Jesus, do you have anything to share with us about his amazing creativity? How he came up with the sayings, the wild goal calls? Where did it come from? How did he think of them?

HJ: he would actually, it would, they would come to him. Like he would go out and talk to people like, uh, uh, uh, call Arnold slick from turtle Creek, you know? Okay. He just, he had a knack for, for, for just that, like scratch my back with a hacksaw. Right. Where did that come from? His linguistics. He just would, he would, he would just think them up and, and, and the way you pronounce it and the way it would come out, like it just flowed so well. Like if it feels like it rhymes, but it's just like alliteration almost. Yeah. And, um, he, he, most of them, he, he would be talking to people like getting the fast lane grandma, the bingo games, getting ready to roll it. These were things that just would come to him and he would practice them before you'd actually do them. And then, uh, you know, like, you know, smoke them like a bad cigar. When, you know, we talk about the yogurt, yogurt, love cigars at the time. So it just, this was things that he came to them, but they were relevant. for the people he was talking to. Like, make me a milkshake, Malkin. It's just that alliteration. He had a real knack for doing it. And he made it. I mean, it is corny, but the way he would say it, it didn't seem corny. It seemed pretty cool. Which is pretty amazing.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, that's kind of as an outsider. That's what I remember about him was that he had really cool calls. Yeah. You know, just like nobody came up with calls like that.

HJ: And he didn't have a favorite. Like he, people asked him all the time, which one's your, your favorite one? He's like, I love a ball. They're like children to me.

TD: Yeah. He, he, he got them. Uh, I, I heard, uh, an interview with him and they asked him that question because it's like one of the first questions you're going to ask this guy. Yeah, of course. And, and he said that he said, you know, a lot of times he would be having conversations with people or meeting people out if he was having dinner somewhere. And he was always so nice and struck up conversations with people. And sometimes people would actually say, Hey, try this out. And they would give him an idea and he would, he would either think, you know, that doesn't really work. Or he would say, he would turn it in. Yeah. He'd say, you know what, maybe I can use that. so a lot of his inspiration came from like you were saying the fans the people that he talked to and and then and and he never wrote a list down He never went into a game saying, okay, these are the ones I'm going to try. He just had them in his head. It just came to him whenever the goal was scored. Yeah. It would be like, it would just pop out. This is the one, you know, like a Michael, Michael motorcycle. Right. And what was Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley, pour me a brandy. Pass me the brandy. Pass me the brandy. Yeah. I always thought, to be honest with you, when I first started listening to him and I heard those things, being a non hockey fan, I would try to figure out what the relationship to hockey was. I'm not kidding. You know, Michael, Michael Motor. So I'd be like, does that guy skate like a motorcycle? Is that why he said that? You know, honest to God, I, I, I didn't know anything, you know? So, um, Yeah, well, he will be missed. I mean, it's thankfully he had retired, so it's not like we're losing this guy.

HJ: He hadn't been in the hadn't been on the radio or hasn't hadn't been at games because I guess his last two years, he really kind of was in bad shape.

TD: Yeah, he had some health issues.

HJ: He didn't want people to remember him like that. Yeah, that's you know, so so that's that's why you haven't heard from him in the past couple of years because the health issues were so bad.

TD: All right, well, rest in peace, Mike Lang. Later in the show, we'll have some more highlights. We'll save them for our exit. You can follow Hockey Jesus on YouTube at the Sports Porch Podcast. And of course, this is the Sports Porch. If you're watching us live, you're watching us all over the world on Facebook, YouTube, X, and Instagram. And I'm going to drop the podcast right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify.

TD: or anywhere you get your friggin podcast.

TD: So hockey Jesus, before we move on to the Steelers bullshit and the Pirates bullshit, because really right now, sports to include Pitt in this town is a whole bunch of bullshit carries. And I feel like the Penguins right now are a bunch of bullshit, too. But can you update us a little bit? They got destroyed by Ovechkin and the Capitals, right?

HJ: Something I predicted.

TD: You did. What what? Look, here's the thing I think most fans really want to know for real. Are they in a rebuild or not?

HJ: I mean, what the fuck is going on? There you go. That's the way to talk about it there. Um, they've been in a rebuild for the last two years. They're just finally realizing that they are absolutely in a rebuild now that they're in the last place in the Metro or, or are they finally, uh, admitting it? No, they haven't admitted it.

TD: Do you think they even realized it?

HJ: Um, I mean the penguins, no, the players have not. And, and, and definitely the core three are, were in denial throughout the last two seasons. I think this is this year. It's kind of hit them pretty hard because they've never really been in it from the very beginning. Um, so I think this is the first year where it was like, wow, When we need to make a run, we can't make a run. And they only were in that position twice towards the end of the year and maybe at the beginning of the year. And after that, it's just been downhill since. So that's what happens. They fool themselves into thinking they're in it, and they're not.

TD: OK, so Chris Chada says the Pens look horrible, completely outclassed. I watched both games in their entirety. This is coming from Instagram. Yeah. He also says, do they even have a real goalie on their roster? Paul Steel, 69 on Instagram.

HJ: Chris must not be listening to my hockey Jesus.

TD: Thanks. I think he listens to him all. He commented on one the other day anyway.

HJ: Well, he would know how he feel about the goalie situation.

TD: Paul Steele says on Instagram, they've been in a rebuild since Jake was dealt. Now, for those even before that, for those of you watching other places, I can't pull up our Instagram comments on the live feed just because of the way the software works. So I have to I have to bring them up here. So anyway, thanks for clarifying that. Well, you know, we put everybody else's comments up and I think they like that. I don't want these people to feel slighted. OK. OK. It's very kind and caring. Can we get back? Yeah. Very sweet. All right. Back to hockey, Jesus. Please continue with your sermon.

HJ: So the issue was when the penguins were in a rebuild, they don't have any draft picks to be able to help their situation. And they were never willing to sell at the deadline because they always were, quote unquote, still in it. And last year, honestly, they were in it till the last couple of games. They were. So, I mean, it's not like it's not like that's not true. But this year it absolutely was true. And if you've seen the moves that Kyle Dubas made and I'm not I'm not going to go into the good and the bad because there are both. But he had to clean up a mess that Ron Hextall left. And he did do that, but he did create some of his own mess. And one of those things is the goalie situation. He did sign Tristan Giarrito five-year contract for way too much money, knowing that he did have two or three goalies in the minor leagues that could come up. And, you know, they thought they could plug in Ned while this is happening. Ned, I've said this a hundred times if you listen to my sermons and you've heard me here. Ned is not a starting goalie in the NHL. He's, at best, a OK backup. And that's what he is. And now they're trying to use him as a starting goalie. That will never work. The other thing that the goalie situation has is, with Bloomquist, and I'm just going to lay it right out here, and I'm not trying to compare him to Marc-Andre Fleury, but every goalie has to start somewhere. And this is where Bloomquist is starting. He's three and nine in his first 12 games with the Penguins with an eight, seven, eight, I'm sorry, eight 86 save percentage. That's not good. But Marc-Andre Fleury in his first 20 was four and 16 with an eight 96 save percentage. Okay. So put that into perspective. It takes goalies time to figure out what their style is, and they need a coach to help them. And next year, maybe he comes up, maybe he only plays 30 or 40 games. And once again, if you look at Marc-Andre Fleury, even in his second season where he came up and pretty much was the starting goalie, he was terrible. He was about the same. He was about the same, a little bit better in the win percentage, but his save percentage was bad. Wasn't until that third year where he figured it out. And he was like, oh, OK, this is how I can play this game. This is how I do it. So you have to be patient with the goalie. And the problem with Pittsburgh Penguins fans sometimes is they want immediate gratification. Now, you're not going to get that also because they have two of their best defensemen are actually offensemen. That's right. That's Carlson in Latang. Right. So they don't have stay at home defenseman. Oh, then their best stay at home defenseman. They traded away to Vancouver. That was Pedersen and they're good young defenseman. They're not bringing up because they want them to be in Wilkes-Barre for a nice playoff run to try and win the color cup down there to beat the Hershey bears who've back one back to back colder cups. And they're playing with them really well. So This is the thing about the Penguins. They should be waving the white flag. They should be trading as many guys as they possibly can to get more picks. Now, don't think that because they've got the most amount of picks of any NHL team in the next three years in the first three rounds. That means they're going to keep all the picks. They may flop some of those picks for guys who are ready to play in a year or two, as opposed to the draft, where when you draft in the NHL, if you're not drafted in the top 10, you might be waiting two years for these guys. And the Penguins don't want to wait two years. They feel like they can turn this thing around in a couple years. And that would mean that next year they would be competitive again. But in order to do that, you're absolutely right. They're going to have to find a goalie. And, um, right now they don't have one on their roster.

TD: Okay. So official Chris Chada says getting pulled mid game as a goalie has to be pretty embarrassing. Waving the white flag. No. Um, and also thanks for elaborating on the goalie stuff.

HJ: Yeah, I mean, every goalies go through rough periods, even the best ones, but they know how to rebound. And that's the thing that the Penguins haven't been able to do. They haven't been able to have a bad game and then come back and have a good game. I heard somewhere in the last two games, their expected goals against it's a, it's an edge.

Grand Schwalbini: It's like 5.5 or something.

HJ: It was like a, like five plus something. And they gave up, well, 12 goals. They gave up one empty net goal. So 13 total goals, but really only 12 goals.

Grand Schwalbini: Quick question for the Jesus. You know, you, you always talk about, How you don't like the loser point. Hate the loser point. What do you think about, could they adopt the four nations three points for a regulation win? What would, do you think, do you like that?

HJ: I think you're just doing the same thing. You're just adding more points in the system. I personally, I personally love the idea of, of just, you get two points no matter what.

Grand Schwalbini: You always talk about How you don't like the loser point. Hate the loser point. What do you think about, could they adopt the four nations three point? We're not talking technical director.

HJ: I think you're just doing the same thing. You're just adding more points in the system. Wow.

TD: I don't know what's going on.

HJ: You're playing the show. What is going on? Are you telling me that we should be done talking about hockey or do you want me to repeat everything like I was messing with our Instagram feed and I accidentally took it off a mute. All right. Yeah.

Grand Schwalbini: That's our technical director for a in the flesh.

HJ: Yeah. This is what I have. I'm like, Mark, are you asking the question? Wait, your lips are not moving yet. I'm hearing you in my head.

TD: Sorry. Oh, man, that's embarrassing. Sorry. All right. Anyway, go ahead, guys. Please. I forgot what we were talking about.

Grand Schwalbini: It was the three points in the four.

HJ: The three points for the regulation win. They're never going to change this. So it's kind of stupid to talk about. But I wish they would at least just use wins and losses and then points, even though they're getting that loser point. Just keep that third column the hell out of the standings. Because if people would say that the penguins are, I think they're like 23 and 36 now or something like that, people would recognize they're not in this fucking thing. Okay. But instead it's like 23 and like 27 and they're seven points out of a playoff spot. It's garbage. It's all garbage. And I wish they would normalize it for what the points would be at the end of the year, because the points at the end of the year is absolutely what matters. You need to have between 93 and 95 points to absolutely be guaranteed. This year, you might get the 90. 90 might win it, but that's why I hate the loser point. And I'm glad that they didn't get the loser point against the Rangers, because for a while there it was 3-3 and I'm like, ah shit, they're going to get a point out of this and that's going to be bad. Because we're in sixth place now for lottery balls. The lower we go or the higher we go in lottery balls, the better. And that's just where we are. The season's going to be over soon. It's not officially over yet. Technically, I think the number now is we can go Nineteen and three or something like that and still get in it so we have to win like twelve in a row and then go like seven and three the rest of the way it's not gonna happen people that is not going to happen the pittsburgh penguins of only had. One win streak above three games. And that only happened once. And that was way back in November.

TD: So Amy, Amy says that was funny. So somebody appreciates my work. OC says last thing on, on hockey. And then we're going to move on. OC says stats question shifts or track for each player. Isn't that kind of like tracking minutes?

HJ: Yeah, that's exactly what it is. The number of shifts they go. If you divide it by their time, then you know how much they're on the ice, because they'll track time on the ice also. But normally, a shift you want to be out there 30, 45 seconds, that's it. You don't want to be out there long.

Grand Schwalbini: Seems so quick. T. O. I. Time on ice. There you go. Defensemen are out there a little bit long. You know, when, when the, uh, when the, uh, caps were on a long power play and I think it was a two man advantage, I think he was out there for four minutes. I thought it was like six minutes.

HJ: Yeah, no, it was like four minutes. It was like four minutes and 20 seconds. But I mean, he's playing, he's playing the, he's playing the offensive. When you're out there in the defensive zone and you're tracking down pucks, anything over two minutes, if you ask any hockey player, and I've not been there, but they're like, you can't move. You're lucky if you can get to the bench.

TD: It's amazing to think how short that time span is, two minutes. three minutes when NBA players play 20 minutes, you know, whatever. Uh, but then you think about all the effort that it takes just to skate fast, you know, and you get very, one last thing I would like to see the NHL do.

HJ: I would like to see them shorten the season. Yeah, 70 games. I think I think between 60 and 65 games is the sweet spot. They did used to do that years and years ago when they had less teams. And the reason they don't want to do it is because they want everybody playing everybody and twice.

Grand Schwalbini: Right.

HJ: So, I mean,

Grand Schwalbini: So everybody can see everybody.

HJ: Right. And they did cut down the number of divisional games. It used to be like seven and now it's only five. So that they could play more Western games. But I don't know. I just wish it was less. Even if you only have to play, you know, one division every other year. That's what you do in football and it seems to work out just fine. Yeah, it's fine.

TD: Okay, Amy May has one last question for Hockey Jesus. Have you played ice hockey?

HJ: I have not played a lick of ice hockey in my life. It's literally the one, well, I mean, I haven't played lacrosse either, but that's the one sport that I wish I could have played growing up, but it just wasn't available to me. Volleyball? Volleyball? Oh sure, volleyball. Okay, badminton? Badminton, yep, been there. Dodgeball? Dodgeball? Yeah.

TD: Kickball? Foursquare? Foursquare? Kickball?

HJ: Oh, I was a great kickball player.

TD: Kickball and Foursquare, man. Two of the best games ever.

HJ: They still are.

TD: Yeah.

HJ: Maybe we should get a Foursquare tournament.

TD: We should. That would be a lot of fun.

HJ: Hey, if you're interested in the Foursquare tournament, leave us a comment.

TD: Let us know. Somebody said, taste the biscuit. Let us know. All right. The lovely Lauren Klein, the Pittsburgh property diva, has now brought us our snack, PittsburghPropertyDiva.com. And yes, boys, it is that time. But we're back.

Grand Schwalbini: We're back.

SPEAKER_00: Taste the biscuit. Taste the goodness of the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce. Taste the goodness of the biscuit with that honey sauce.

Grand Schwalbini: Get that honey sauce on me.

SPEAKER_00: I don't like the way it tastes with my chicken wings.

TD: Oh, yeah. What does that mean? Yes, it is. Trader Joe's snack time. And what is that? Well, I work for Trader Joe's down in East Liberty. Love working there. Great place to work. Great grocery store. So what I do every single week is I bring home a Trader Joe's product. We try it. We test it out. We give it we give you our honest opinion. Now, Trader Joe's has not And my dog is sassy. Our mascot is trying to eat. Oh, yeah.

HJ: Sassy's like, hey, no more talking. Let's get the eating.

TD: Trader Joe's does not pay us for this segment. So it's not an official sponsorship. But I did get permission to do it. And we just have a good time with it. So tonight, this is a double shot here.

HJ: I was going to say there are two bowls over there. I think I see balls over there.

TD: Yeah. So, so here's, here's the thing. Last week we did, I was not on the show because I just, I needed a break. You guys did a great job with the counselor. I really enjoyed watching it, listening to it. You look re-energized. And I am re-energized. You still look a little scraggy. Well, that's just my look now. I'm going for something new. I don't think it's a good look. I don't really fucking care what you think. If you shave, I think we'd all be pleased. Do you think so?

HJ: I think if we took a poll with our fans, you would get unanimous shave. Yes.

Grand Schwalbini: Really? Yeah. Unanimous? It's okay. Look, you know, not everybody's good looking.

HJ: Yeah. I mean, you're making it better, easier for us. That's for sure.

Grand Schwalbini: You can't always be at the top.

TD: No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. Do you guys want to eat or not? We do. Oh yeah, we're ready to eat. Let me please explain this and then you can eat it. Get those balls over here. I was walking. I was walking around the store and I heard a customer say that she saw this on TikTok, which is always, you know, you get this Trader Joe's stuff on TikTok and then it sells out. She goes, Oh, I saw these on TikTok. They put meatballs in them. And I went, there it is. There it is. The meatball segment. And I owe you guys at one because you didn't have one last week. And I feel like the last couple of marks complained about, so. Uh, except the barbecue chicken.

HJ: You like, well, he liked it, but he doesn't like chicken on chicken on pizza. Go back and check that one out. A couple of weeks.

TD: Chris Chada has a question for me and then we'll get to it. Uh, and I, I do want to address this because, uh, hopefully it's about your look. No, that, that's actually, well, I'm going to show you what's about my look right, right, right now. Uh, that's Amy May saying,

SPEAKER_00: She's just trying to make you feel better.

TD: She also likes to stalk me down at Trader Joe's. I saw her the other day. She said, she said, now you're going to tell Mark I'm back here stalking you. I was like, well, you live in the North Hills and you come all the way down here to Trader Joe's. Well, I mean, she has some appointments down there. Right. I know. Okay, OC says, I heard recently that Aldi owns Trader Joe's. Is that right? I was surprised to hear that. Okay, so I can't give you an official answer because I don't know how it actually works. But apparently Aldi, there's like a parent company thing where the parent company owns Aldi and also Trader Joe's. But they operate different businesses. Pat off track, Mark doesn't look discerning about any food.

HJ: That's a good point. All right It's a pet sighting Pat on track.

TD: Okay, so this is this is garlic gondolas with Italian meatballs Let me put the this was the this is an idea It's a combination of two different Trader Joe's products This being the garlic gondolas. Okay, which is basically garlic bread. It was on tik-tok Yeah, apparently I did not see it on Okay, interesting. Well, you know, we're going to continue the track. And then meatballs, Italian style. So, so what, what the woman said was she, they, they put the. Put the meatballs in the gondola. Put the meatballs in the gondola. And shake it all up. Which, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna cut.

Grand Schwalbini: Why don't you just make it for us and then hand it to us?

HJ: Well, what I'm gonna do is. Well, we're gonna have to split them in half, because there's only two gondolas.

Grand Schwalbini: Oh, only two gondolas? That's all that came in the package. Oh, really? Wow, I would think working at Trader Joe's you would know how many gondolas are in a package. I knew that going into it. Ow, I'm cheap.

HJ: The question is, are you putting three meatballs in a gondola? You know, if I took these guys to room.

TD: If I took these guys to Ruth's Chris steakhouse, they'd be fucking disappointed.

Grand Schwalbini: Oh, yeah, we definitely I don't want because we'd be with you Yeah, well, I don't want I don't want to eat commercialized steak All right, we want it fresh off the cow.

TD: Yeah, it's since you're the right by the it's right by the okay You put take a quarter put meatball in there. All right, come on. Let's have to use your napkin. All right

HJ: Um, we got some, we got some bucko talk coming up. So, you know, don't leave us. And we also have some Steelers talk coming up to buckos talks, Steelers talks right around the corner after we feed our faces. Yeah.

TD: I don't, this is all coming in. You want to just try it like that first? Okay. It's all anecdotal here. I'll give it to you. Give me a napkin. It's right there.

HJ: Oh man. This is napkin worthy.

TD: Oh yeah, definitely.

HJ: Yeah. Oh yeah. I see. It's like all the butter and juices like flowing out of that. Yeah.

TD: Yeah. And, and I just heard, I heard this person talking about it. I just didn't hear the mechanism, how they put it together.

HJ: It looks like kind of like a poor man's meatball sandwich. Right. You know, I'm going to give it to me.

Grand Schwalbini: It's meatballs on garlic bread.

HJ: It's meatballs in the garlic bread. But I'm just I'm putting two and a half. So I guess if you were to get them, you'd put four in it. But yeah, I'll tell you what, it smells delicious. Yeah, it's definitely got a lot of butter on it. Yeah. Mark's already digging in. I think he's he's he's digging him over there.

TD: Mike Lawrence says more ladies would stalk you if you shaved. And Amy says Aldi is great too. I've actually never, I've been inside an Aldi, but I've never actually shopped there. I went there for an interview and they turned me down.

HJ: Do you know anything about this Tik Tok craze with these things?

TD: No, nothing at all. I just heard a lady say, Oh, I saw these on Tik Tok. They put the meatballs in them. And I was like, I'm running with that.

HJ: I bet there's probably different sauces on, on Tik Tok that peeps put them on. I'm a big, I'm a big ketchup fan. How about you guys? I like ketchup.

Grand Schwalbini: I like, I like tomato sauce on a meatball sandwich.

HJ: Yeah. On a meatball sandwich.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I mean, you could also put, on this like that, uh, to Zaki sauce, you know what I'm talking about? Uh huh.

TD: Kind of like a Sikhi sauce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gyro sauce.

HJ: Yeah. Gyro sauce. It's like a better cheese and like some Greek yogurt.

TD: Yeah. These are, these are actually pretty good.

HJ: Yeah. I'd say, uh, what do you think Mark?

Grand Schwalbini: I mean, I don't know. I just, I mean, it's good. I'm not saying I would turn it down. Um, but you know, if I wanted to eat a meatball sandwich, I would rather have a regular meatball sandwich with tomato sauce on it. Right.

HJ: I agree with that. I agree with that. These meatballs are a little big for this boat too. Yeah.

TD: Maybe I should have gone with those party meatballs. I had the mini meatballs.

HJ: Maybe, maybe then you could just bite in, you know, just have one meatball. These, you got to bite into the meatballs. You got to bite the balls. Yeah. You got to bite the balls. I just want to swallow it.

TD: Yeah.

HJ: I just want to get a ball in my mouth and swallow it. That's really, that's really what it comes down to. One ball at a time.

TD: Yeah. Uh, and Pat says, Aldi pricing is crazy. $20 versus 40.

HJ: I didn't know you're pinching pennies down there in Florida. What's going on down there, Pat? Did you break up with your girlfriend? Your sugar mama is no longer paying the grocery bill, I guess.

Grand Schwalbini: She out of her walker.

HJ: This is pure speculation. We love Pat. He's an old friend. He goes back to our college days. I think he knows. Everybody knows we love Pat. The question is, does Pat know we love Pat? He does. You know, in a brotherly kind of way. Sure. Of course. All right. I guess it's time to grade these things.

TD: Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this. Let's grade the whole product together. And then just give me your take on if you can separate out the gondola from the meatball.

Grand Schwalbini: I would, I would say together a thumbs down.

TD: Okay.

Grand Schwalbini: Um, but if I was just looking for garlic bread, I would say thumbs up on the gondola.

TD: Okay. Excellent. Uh, meatball, no opinion on that. People's fine. Nothing special. Okay.

HJ: I think, uh, by themselves without a sauce on them, I give them a math, like the meatballs, you know, the whole thing, the whole thing, the meatballs. Uh, I feel the same way, but I do like the gondola. I think the gondola by itself would be good with like a pasta with a, with the red or even an Alfredo sauce. I think that would be really, that would be pretty killer. I definitely give two thumbs up to the gondola. I'm not sure about this TikTok thing by putting the meatballs in it. They may be off a little on that.

TD: Does Pat go shopping in a golf cart, says Amy Mack. I heard that's what they drive in the village. I think the answer to that is yes. All right, Trader Joe's snack time. I give it a thumbs up for Um, just kind of hearing an anecdote about, Oh, they put meatballs in that and not really diving in and seeing it, you know, finding it.

TD: Right.

TD: I'm sure. And if anybody out there wants to grab Tik TOK and look up garlic gondolas and see if there's a recipe for it, I bet you there are more ingredients.

HJ: I'm sure some of our pasta sauce, probably like 50,000 videos on it.

TD: Could be, who knows. So, Trader Joe's Snack Time?

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, look, I mean, there's people that are doing it with the tomato sauce.

TD: There you go. Yeah, there you go. Alright, so.

Grand Schwalbini: Tomato sauce.

TD: If you want the ones that taste the best, but I give it a thumbs up. I like the tastes, and I don't like everything Trader Joe's has to offer, but on this one, I give it two thumbs up. I like both the meatballs and the garlic gondolas.

Grand Schwalbini: Actually, every, every single person here has it with tomato sauce.

TD: Okay. That was the deal right there. All right. You guys are watching right now. If you're watching live, you're watching the sports porch podcast all over the world on Facebook, YouTube X and the gram. And of course you can catch the podcast after the show. We drop it right after the show on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And please hop on over to YouTube, subscribe to our channel at the sports porch podcast. We're getting close to a hundred, a hundred subscribers there. I'd really like to get us up to around a thousand and see what we can do there. We drop shorts after the show. We drop shorts all week long. We drop reels on Instagram. We drop shorts on Tik TOK all week long, pick up our Tik TOK channel, pick up our X channel. Uh, you can catch up with us, leave comments. Hey, if there's something you want us to talk about, put it in a comment, put it in a DM, do something. We'll get it in the show. And we'll probably open up our phone lines in the coming weeks if you want to call in live and love to have an interaction. It's look, it's the dead zone. And that, that, that kind of speaks to what we're going to do next. Um, this is the time of year where we used to really enjoy what we thought was going to happen with the Steelers. Now it's kind of like, you know, picking a hangnail and it just rips that skin all the way up your finger. You know what I'm talking about, right, Robert? Not as much as it seems you do. Wilson, Field, Stafford, Rogers. What the fuck? Um. Look, for me, the bottom line is this. The Steelers have a lot of problems and they don't have a quarterback right now. Right. So all of this talk about who would you go with? Should it be Justin Fields? Should it be Russell Wilson is a completely moot point. And here's my take. And then I want to hear what you guys have to think. I think it's very, very likely that both of those guys sign somewhere else. That's the way I feel.

Grand Schwalbini: Unless there's something going on that we don't know about, like unless Tomlin has already told Justin Fields they want him to be the guy.

TD: I mean, that's a possibility. Do you want a meatball?

Grand Schwalbini: No, thank you. Okay, you? I'm good. Next time, I think, pay attention to the recipe and bring the appropriate tomato sauce.

TD: Jesus Christ, can I get an amen? All right, anyway, what do you guys think? I mean, I think there's a possibility that I don't hear anybody talking about, and that is that neither one of these guys come back.

HJ: I'm gonna let Mark go first.

TD: And then what?

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, I think that's a possibility. You know, I'd say if I had to put betting odds on it, I'd put the betting odds on Justin Fields. The more time moves along, I feel like it's probably not going to be a Russell Wilson. I think that there's a chance, um, or maybe a Matthew Stafford.

HJ: Um, no way.

Grand Schwalbini: There's probably not interest in, um, in Aaron Rodgers, probably just because of the age. But I think, look, if the Steelers are looking at this as a, hey, we've got a decent defense, we have another good draft, maybe sign a free agent receiver, we can make a run at it. You know, because look, I mean, look, at one point they were 10 and three. Now sure, they did not show well against the best teams in the league down the stretch. However, they were 10-3, which basically means they can beat just about anybody except the elite teams. So if you make some additions, you could get more into that elite team conversation. And I think they, you know, so if you would be open to an alternative quarterback, I think Matthew Stafford would be that guy. He's a guy who's won a Super Bowl. He's different than Russell Wilson because he's still really playing at an elite level. So I could see that being the case. If that's what they want to do, if they want to try to win a playoff game next year, if they feel like they need to do that, if nothing else, to shut the fans up, I could see them going that route. Otherwise, I think that they would stick with Justin Fields and see if they could develop him.

HJ: Well, I agree. I love your optimism by the way, but I think you're fucking crazy. And here's why, because the Steelers are playing the waiting game because they're trying to get these guys on the cheap and that's the dumbest fucking thing they could do. That's what I'm talking about. What they need to do. They just need to give them the money that they want. If they want them, sign them and get them going on the offense right now. Like I said last week, They're not doing anything with the offense until they know who the frigging quarterback is. And they don't know who the frigging quarterback is. And you keep hearing more names thrown into the goddamn mix. They're never getting Stafford. They're not giving up two first round picks for him. There wouldn't pay him $50 million if he wanted 30, if he wanted $60 million, they're not going to pay him. They think the quarterback position is a position where you can manage it with somebody who's going to make between $25 and $30 million a year. And even that might be too much for their stingy asses right now. They've got to get this done. And I don't care who it is, unless they're thinking they're going to move up and get somebody in the first round this year. And I wouldn't even do that this year, because the quarterbacks this year, garbage. I would wait till next year. But they're not even going to do that. So what they're going to do is they're going to dick around with these two guys, Fields and Wilson. And I think what will end up happening is somebody will like Fields more than they like Wilson. And if they start looking at him and start looking at him and saying, wow, we can get him for $25 million for two or three years and it's not guaranteed money, we let's take a chance on him because you're right the quarterback play in in the nfl right now is pretty much garbage um so i think it's i think it's a disgrace what the steelers are doing and frankly i'm embarrassed for our organization that they're doing that with the most important position on the field instead you know what they're going to do first they're going to sign tj freaking watt to an extension because that's what that's what rooney wants to do he wants to sign him first He wants to lock him up for, you know, another three years and then they'll go after the quarterback. And that is just absolutely ridiculous.

TD: Yeah. There are eight teams that have, uh, quarterback questions. Okay. Eight teams. Now I might not remember all of them, but I'm going to try the jets, the Browns, the Colts, the Titans, the Raiders, the giants, um, the Vikings, because Darnold is and, and yeah.

HJ: Um, yeah, but they got JJ McCarthy.

TD: Well, I know, but, but there's still a question.

HJ: The saints, a changing quarterback. I agree.

TD: Yeah. And the saints. Okay. Do you think that one of those teams now who's got the number one pick Tennessee, right? Yeah. It's not a deep quarterback class.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, here's the thing. I'm going to say it is not a deep quarterback class, but I do think that there are two quarterbacks that are first round worthy. I think that Cam Ward and Sanders are. I agree with you there. I think what your question is, if you're Tennessee and you're picking first, It's do you bypass the quarterback because you don't think that they're elite? Do you take like an Abdul Carter, you know, best edge rusher in the draft and then. either bring like, you know, Willis back next year or, is that his name, Willis? Wilson.

HJ: Peyton Wilson.

Grand Schwalbini: No, not Peyton Wilson. You know, I'm talking for the Titans.

HJ: Malik Willis is not on Tennessee.

Grand Schwalbini: You know, the quarterback on Tennessee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know your talk. He's not on Tennessee anymore. Yeah, but there's somebody with a similar name. Or maybe, you know, or maybe that's a team that takes like, you know, a Justin Fields flyer, right? You know, let's take a Justin Fields flyer for a year. Let's bring in Abdul Carter, make the defense better, and then we're right back in it next year if field stinks, you know. So, you know, that's like something that like a Cleveland could do, too.

HJ: That's true.

HJ: You know, so I think Cleveland would be more interested in Justin Fields and same with the Jets. I think they would rather just take a quarterback like that just to plug a hole.

TD: Yeah. And supposedly the Steelers brass was sitting down this week before the combine to talk about, you know, and discuss

HJ: What the hell have they been doing since they lost? That's what drives me crazy. You're right. They got too many people making too many decisions. Stop talking about it. Figure out who it is and just sign the guy. Just do it. Yeah.

TD: Yeah, well, I mean at one point you have to think that it is entirely possible that they approached either player's camp and the camp is saying, eh, we'll wait it out and see what we're worth. I mean, that's entirely possible. So we can't just assume that they're sitting on their hands. However, it does kind of fit their MO.

HJ: This is the way they've played with this position since Kenny Pickett.

TD: I'm sure there's a number that they could throw out there where the fields or the Wilson camp would be like, huh?

HJ: And the reason they haven't is because they want to tie up TJ Watt longer.

TD: Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. What I'm not hearing talked about at all. is just that. The longer they wait, the harder it's going to be for them to get either one of these quarterbacks at the price they're willing to pay or something they deem reasonable and they can negotiate. I have, I just have a gut feeling that we're not going to see either one of these guys in a Steelers uniform.

HJ: You might be right there. I think the longer they dick around with it, the more that becomes possible. What is their pick? Is it like 20?

Grand Schwalbini: Twenty one.

HJ: I think it's like so there are 16 teams that don't make it right. So they're like 19 18 19.

Grand Schwalbini: I can tell you right now because you know because I wonder like you know could they be looking at you know maybe they see like a shit or Sanders. I've seen him like falling to like 10 or 11 21st.

HJ: Yeah.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. So he's going to you know sugar Sanders might go 10 or 11. You know, would they trade up to try to get him?

HJ: I doubt it. I don't think they're going that way this year. You don't think so? No. I think they're happy if they can stay where they are and they get that Marcus Golden as the wide receiver. I think they'd be perfectly happy.

TD: They have one pick in each round except the sixth. And in the seventh round, they have three picks. So they have picked 21, 52, 83, 121, 161. Nothing in the six and then two 23, two 29, two 45. So two 45 is a good one.

HJ: Yeah, I agree. Parties down there. Yeah. So lots of parties down there.

TD: Well, here's the thing. They have one pick in each round. I mean, this is not this. I mean, there's not a large crop of new talent that they're going to be bringing in here. Um, and they've got a lot of holes to fill and in the coming weeks we'll talk about those holes. Um, I'm just waiting for a comment, Schwaber. Nothing? No. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. Uh, and as far as Stafford, I love, I love this. Um, you know, Schwaber, have you seen Stafford's wife? She ain't leaving LA for the Duquesne slopes.

HJ: This is very true because she is, she's, although they have a nice family and Pittsburgh's a great place to raise a child.

TD: Yeah, absolutely. Sure is. Tell Russell Wilson that his dog died here. Great, great kinder care.

HJ: I didn't say it's a good dog town.

TD: I think the Steelers want to try another U Colorado quarterback. That's a good point. Yeah. Cordell. Yeah. Cordell came from there. So, uh, no. What, where did Cordell come from? No, he, he did. Oh yeah. I'm just saying no to that. Sorry. Um, so yeah, Steelers draft needs a real quick, I would say everything. Um,

HJ: Yeah, we went through this last week. They need a quarterback. They need a running back. They need some defensive tackles, and that's pretty much what they need. And they're not going to get it all in the draft, so they're going to have to dig deep. They're going to have to go into the free market and get some of these guys. I like the idea of getting a free agent as a running back. Mark likes the running back in the draft.

Grand Schwalbini: That's a, that's a one bite meatball. You're working there. I know. I'm sorry.

HJ: Um, all right. That's too big of a meatball to put in your mouth.

TD: It was all in there. One bite. What can I say? I like balls. Um, catch the sports sports podcast. We drop it right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, Spotify. Please hop on over to YouTube right now and subscribe to it at the sports sports podcast. Help us get over a hundred subscribers right now in our push for a thousand. Um, uh, the pirates. All right, look, everybody who watches us regularly knows. that Mark is a Phillies fan and there's good reasons to be a Phillies fan. And one of those good reasons is that they rarely go more than like, I don't know, five years without having a competitive team. What's the longest you can remember where it was like, oh, not again.

Grand Schwalbini: I mean, it doesn't have to be accurate. No, I mean, they did have like a 10-year bad stretch at one point. Okay, 10 years. Like after, like after 93.

HJ: Yeah, I was going to say early 90s into the early 2000s.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, and then 2002, I think, is when it turned around with Otley and Rollins. And it's been pretty much, you know, fairly good ever since. Since then it was, well, it was good for about, I'd say like seven years when those guys were in their prime. And then when we hung on to them too long and, um, right. You know, then we were basically like average, you know, like for five years and then back again. Yeah.

TD: And once you got Bryce Harper, well, what do you, what do you credit most for, um, You know this, I'm leading you. What would you credit most for the fact that the Phillies don't, they don't ever seem to linger in the basement for a long time.

Grand Schwalbini: Just because we have an owner who wants to win, who wants to spend money.

HJ: right. It's about spending money.

Grand Schwalbini: There you go. And they don't spend as much as the Yankees and the Dodgers and the Padres and the Mets lately. Yeah. They don't spend as much. But Hey, if you're in like the top seven or eight, you, you got a chance.

HJ: Yeah. You know, got to be in the top 10 if you're in the top five. And I hear those are going to drop out.

TD: I am. I am a Baltimore Orioles fan and we had, um, a miserable time, uh, for close to 15, 20 years. Um, we did have a few bright spots in there, but the difference is we were having, we had an ownership issue where there was a fight between the sons of the late owner, Pete Angelos, who was, he was, he was dying and it was like, who's going to take over. And, Once they work that out, they revamp their entire farm system. They have a very low payroll, but a lot of great young players. Now they're at the point where they have to start spending money probably in the next two to three years to keep some of those guys around. And they lost a couple because they didn't. That's right. So we're going to see. Um, the pirates, uh, I heard this, this is interesting. They actually bring in more money from revenue sharing than their entire payroll costs them. Really?

null: Yeah.

TD: Yeah. That makes sense. What in the hell? Well, I mean, I get it.

HJ: They, they lost supposedly somewhere between 15 and 25 million because of the, the TV contract last year.

TD: Yeah, but they're still making money.

HJ: But they don't think of it that way. They think of it as we lost 25 million. That's 25 million less we're going to spend on payroll.

TD: Yeah. Yeah. And and I got to tell you, I know the way these pirates think.

HJ: Yeah, they're brilliant businessmen. They are. They're terrible. If you want to if you want to enjoy a baseball game.

TD: Yeah. And, and, and it's really, um, so look, if you want to break it down, like, Oh, see on Instagram, Danny burgers, assistant hitting coach, it's Vogo Bach. Like, listen, there, there is nothing that this team is doing that is even remotely can even remotely be considered as a competitive move. Nothing. They got lucky when they got the 1-1 pick and it was a slam dunk. If they didn't draft Paul Skeens, I don't know. Somebody was going to get hurt. You know what I mean? Like it was like draft. I know there was like a debate about that other dude whose name everybody's forgotten, but it was kind of like draft Paul Skeens. Yeah. OK, great.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, the problem is, I see it is. is that they do have a generational talent in Paul Skeens. And their window with Paul Skeens is four years. Now is the time to make the moves if you're gonna try to win around Paul Skeens. And they basically spent the first year of it doing nothing. That's what's really disappointing about it. Their first full year. You know, the pitching staff seems all right. But like, you know, the hitting is just so it's abysmal. I mean, there's there's there's no I mean, really, I mean, if you want to call Brian Reynolds an all star, I guess you can. But the reality is there's no there's no feared hitter in the lineup.

HJ: Well, Brian Reynolds won't be an all star now that we have schemes. He'll be our all star. Right. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's true. So he was only an all star because you got to put somebody there. And he was our best player at the time.

TD: Now, now, the one thing that that that sports radio talked about this past week that I thought was actually really on point was the positions in the field for the Pirates. You know, you got a first baseman who's injured. You got a second.

HJ: They knew he was injured.

TD: Right. You got a second baseman who's a utility player. You got a shortstop. who is not a shortstop you got a third baseman who's got back injuries you've got a right fielder who used to play left field you've got a center fielder who used to be shortstop you've got a left fielder who you're not really sure what they are good at you know and they went down the line and it's like you got you got guys that are like They don't even belong in a major league lineup. They don't even, they're not even everyday players. And, and, and listen, I called this a couple of years ago. O'Neal Cruz is not going to be a superstar. He strikes out more than anybody. I would say he's got a chance. I think his chance is gone.

HJ: But this isn't this like the third full year. Well, this will be the first full year. He won't be playing shortstop So maybe he can focus more on the bat.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, as opposed to being I'd say there's a chance now Do I think it's likely that he's gonna be superstar? No, but I think there's a chance that he could be you know, a quality major league player III Honestly, right a good role player on a good team.

HJ: I are us. He has to be a superstar, right? Which means he's average

TD: Yeah, I honestly believe that the, now of course there's a lot of things that go into this, you know, do you have the right coaching, do you have the right this, do you have the right that, which the Pirates have none of.

HJ: Well, they're keeping the coaching from last year, so clearly they think they do.

TD: Well, they got a new hitting coach, but other than that. Uh, I think O'Neill Cruz for as tall as he is, uh, has huge issues with his swing and can that be coached? Sure. But they don't have the right coaches. Um, I think when you take a guy who played his entire life at shortstop and throw him into center field at the major league level, which is arguably the second or third most important position. It's the number one position in the outfield. Now he's got to completely learn how to play that, plus not how to strike out all the time. I just don't see this as a recipe for success. And, you know, again, I go back to they got lucky with Paul Skeens. He was the one one on the board that everybody knew was going to be a hit. But look at their last few draft picks. Andy Rodriguez, nothing impressive about him. I don't care what anybody says. Henry Davis. Do we even need to say it? Nothing impressive about him at all. Bubba Chandler. We'll see. We don't need any more pitching. You know, I mean, Oh, you always need more pitching. What I'm saying though, especially when you have no hitting, if you're willing, if you're willing to commit to skeins and you're willing to commit to Jones, and you're willing to commit to Keller, who we've all been saying was a good five era in the last half of last year. Yeah, actually I think it was higher than that. And, and, but we all did say he was a good number three guy and he is then why in the hell aren't you trading Bubba Chandler? Why in the hell aren't you making a push for Vlad Guerrero jr. Somebody in that lineup. We all know the reason, but we know there's a lot of pirates fans out there. I wish to God we could talk about something positive coming out of their lineup. Uh, and we're going to try to talk a little bit more pirates this year. Um, but just don't be surprised if it's the same old shit. Or it's very negative. That's exactly what I'm talking about. That's exactly what it will be.

HJ: I mean, there's no way to go positive with this team, with the way the ownership runs it. And it's, um, it's frankly pathetic.

TD: I think Pat off track sums it up. He's the next Sean Dunstan.

HJ: He does sort of look like Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's a good ending to this segment.

TD: All right. On the Sports Porridge podcast, which you could find on the Apple Apple podcast, Spotify, iHeartRadio app or anywhere you get your friggin podcast. And of course, on the YouTube channel at the Sports Porridge podcast, we drop the podcast right after the show. And you can also listen live on Radio PGH at Radio PGH dot com. Our last segment of the evening is what we are watching and the Grand Schwab Beanie is going to tell you what this is and why we do it. We do this for you.

Grand Schwalbini: We're selfless, and we take care of you, our viewers, our audience. We know what it's like when you're trying to find that show, and there's so many choices. There's Netflix, there's YouTube, there's Apple TV+, there's Prime, there's Hulu. It just goes on and on and on, and we know that you sit there, you watch trailers, And you think, should we watch that? Should we watch this? And what ends up happening is you look at your watch and you're like, oh, 45 minutes have gone by. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got to get up early for work tomorrow.

HJ: Time to go to bed.

Grand Schwalbini: Time to hit the sack. Well, not anymore. There's no need to surf. We'll do it for you. We will tell you what shows are worth watching and what shows are not worth watching. Tune in here and we will be your guide.

TD: Thank you, Grant Schwabini. The only requirements are that you have to finish the season that you are watching. You don't have to finish the whole show. If it has five seasons and you finish season three, give a review or you have to complete the entire documentary or movie, good or bad, then you can give a review. So tonight, first up Schwaber. Oh, I have finished Cobra Kai. I have not. Is this the, uh, how many seasons does this have?

Grand Schwalbini: Uh, well it's, it's, I think it's a total of four and like the last season four is like 15 episodes. Holy hell. Yeah, they split it up. They split it up.

HJ: So I've watched the first seven. Right. And the last one just dropped.

TD: Right, right. It's on Netflix, right?

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. Okay. I have to tell you, man, it's it's really good. I mean, look, you know, honest to God. I mean, look, you know, anybody can watch it and they can probably say, like, oh, you know, the acting is not great or, you know, whatever. But, you know, if you love the karate kid story. Right. I mean, they do an amazing job, you know, just giving you all the back stories of Johnny Lawrence, you know, and and Miyagi and you know, all the guys crease and all that stuff. And I thought that they really kind of ended it in a really, really cool, good way. Just really good, you know, feel good. You know, my wife Amy is, you know, shedding tears at the end. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's good stuff. I mean, it's a lot of fun. And you know what? The bottom line is, you know, Karate Kid and Cobra Kai will probably never die. Because I did also see a trailer of a new Karate Kid coming out with Jackie Chan.

HJ: Yeah, it's over in Japan.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, it's over in Japan. Jackie Chan comes to get Daniel-san. to go out and teach his son Miyagi-Do. And, uh, yeah, it's just, it's just a lot of fun. I just really enjoyed it. I think if you just want to watch something enjoyable, you'll love it.

HJ: All right. I can't wait to watch the final episodes.

TD: Oh yeah. That's good, man. Cobra Kai on Netflix. The Grand Schwabini.

HJ: That'll be a this weekend thing.

TD: H.J. you are watching.

HJ: Okay. I've been watching The Watcher.

Grand Schwalbini: You know, I started that. Did you? Yeah. And I, and I actually, I was, I was really into it. I don't really know why I stopped.

HJ: Well, I'll tell you why.

Grand Schwalbini: Okay. Okay.

HJ: Well, first of all, this is, this has been out for a while. This came out in 2022. Yeah. So this is not new. This is not one of those you'll see in the top 10. This is probably, you know, something that you saw and you're like, that looks interesting because it's, it's based on actually a real story. Um, of a couple, um, that, uh, bought a house in New Jersey. And this one, I think they're trying to say, they don't say where it takes place, but it looks like it takes place more in like Rhode Island. Big, beautiful house. This guy's kind of got a broken up life. He makes okay money and they had to stretch to get this house. You know how this story goes, right? And he didn't know that, you know, that basically the house has a history to it that nobody knew about. Surprise, surprise. And all the neighbors are absolutely bizarro weird. Yeah, they are. They are. Like you have this couple, you have this couple across the street that are retired and they're always out in the lawn, like watching the house. And then you have a couple behind them. who, it's not a couple, it's a sister and a brother who live in a house, and he had something that happened to him five years ago, and he decided he just didn't want to talk anymore. So he's a mute. And this house is- He's a mute by choice. By choice, right. And so they buy this house, they love the house, and then immediately they go to their mailbox, and there's a letter in there. they're not sent anywhere, it's just a written letter, and it's hand-typed, and it basically says, I'm watching you. And they have to figure out who's watching them. And they realize that everybody in the whole, and it's a very small neighborhood, right? Everybody knows everybody, everybody knows the, yeah, at the club, and then there's a chief of police who knows everybody, and like, you're sure you have it all figured out? And then it ends and you have nothing figured out. No, no. I think it does have an ending, but it does open itself up to have another second season. I don't think I would watch it.

Grand Schwalbini: I don't think they're going to have one. I was, I mean, I remember when I watched it, it was in the top 10 when it came out.

HJ: Yeah, it was. I mean, it's, it's, if you like a drama movie, that's kind of creepy. It's pretty good. But I thought the acting was, was pretty bad.

TD: It's a movie or a series. It's a series.

HJ: It's like it's seven, seven, seven, seven episodes.

TD: That's what I thought.

HJ: It's like 45 minutes to an hour.

TD: I started watching and I got an, I got an episode and a half in and I gave up.

HJ: Yeah, I didn't like I think I watched like three or four I just I had to see it to the end so I could talk about it, right? Sorry, and I was disappointed. Yeah, it's the acting is terrible Alright, the story is predictable, but the ending isn't that predictable gotcha, but still bad still bad I would I would not suggest this you waste your time on this crap HJ says no to the watcher on Netflix now boys

TD: I actually watched something that has five seasons. Sassy, get down. Get down. I watched somebody or something that has five seasons. Five seasons. And I watched all five seasons. I dedicated myself to finishing the entire thing.

HJ: Well, you haven't been on for two weeks.

Grand Schwalbini: Is this something that you've talked about before? Are you going to tell me? That's pretty sick, by the way. The Walking Dead again?

TD: No, no, but what I am going to say is that I'm just going to tell you what it is. Is it Selfish Watching? It's called The Last Kingdom. Sounds like you. And it is on, oh it's totally me.

HJ: Looks like Highlander.

TD: It is on Netflix, The Last Kingdom. Five seasons. There's actually a follow-up movie to it, which I'm going to start watching this week. Um, it is essentially a historical, um, drama that is based on the, uh, creation of a unified England back in like the eight hundreds. Um, and it takes a lot of historical characters, but a lot of this stuff It's not completely chronological. They kind of mash stuff together. Some of this stuff happened like a hundred years apart.

Grand Schwalbini: So it's kind of like Game of Thrones, like there's a Starbucks coffee in it.

TD: Yes. Accidentally, on purpose. Proof that people travel through time. but no no it's it's but and it's not it's not it's not dragons or elves it's all real people but no trolls no it it's basically about uh the formation of of england as a as a one unified country and back in the 800s the danes or what we thought of as the vikings but they were actually danish the danes were coming over on their boats and they were raiding saxon lands and then there was infighting and and it's like it's it's it's and it actually the acting is really good um the uh it it kind of reminded me in a way of like braveheart the the battle scenes are very realistic they actually use uh what seemed to be um time period appropriate tactics and weapons and stuff jousting it was believable jousting it was very believable uh anybody we know in it Alexander Draymond plays Uhtred, who is a made-up character for the whole, it follows his bloodline basically. Emily Cox is in it, and there are a bunch of British actors that are in it that I think you would recognize, but I was looking at their names and I didn't recognize their names. But I gotta tell you, if you like that kind of stuff, Um, it's excellent. Absolutely. All five seasons were really good. Um, and I would highly recommend it to anybody who's into those like historical pieces. Um, but, but they're, they use artistic license and it's dramatized. So like, for example, I have a friend who watched it as well. And she, she said, after it was over, she went and just used the Google machine. and looked up a lot of these. And it's like, yeah, the King of England, Alfred the Great, he was a real person who had these people, these were their names. But like these things happened in, I don't know the years, but like, for example, 700 AD. And then this other thing in the show happened in like 850 AD. So, you know, these people lived that long. But for the effect, so five seasons, good watch, Lots of great drama, lots of great battle scenes, lots of great twists and turns. What happens? Does Zengling get unified at the end? Well, I'm going to find out when I watch the movie.

Grand Schwalbini: Oh. Yeah. Well, you know, if you just fast forward to the present, yeah.

TD: Excellent commentary from the Grand Schwab Beanie as usual. Mike Lawrence, The Last Kingdom is pretty good, watched it about 8 or 9 months ago. Thank you very much.

HJ: Yeah, 5 seasons, that's a lot.

TD: Yeah. How long are the seasons?

null: 10?

TD: Every single season is 10 episodes. Yeah. Yeah. It's a 50 burger. It's a 50 burger all the way. 50 burger all the way. I think I'm out. All right, guys. Listen, you might like it, though.

HJ: No, no. It is stuff that I would like, but I don't know. I'm not ready for the 50.

TD: If I told you there was pretty good medieval sex in it.

HJ: Oh, well, I assume that.

TD: Okay, good.

HJ: I'm thinking like… Is it like raunchy and raw?

Grand Schwalbini: No.

HJ: I wanted to wait because I didn't watch Peaky Blinders right away. But once I got into it, I really liked it. If this has to be like that or I'm not going to make it… Well, this is not new.

TD: This is not new. I think it ended like two years ago.

HJ: I know, but it has to be that good for me to keep wanting to go with it for five seasons.

TD: Just give it a shot. Start season one. We'll think about it.

HJ: I'll put it on my list.

Grand Schwalbini: Part of this is you guide us, but we do choose our own path.

TD: I know. All right. Listen, I want to thank everybody for watching the sports porch, black and gold edition all over the world, live on Facebook, YouTube X, and Instagram. And of course, right after the show, I'm going to cue it all up and drop into the podcast on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And of course, please subscribe to us on YouTube at the sports porch podcast guys to take us out tonight. I have a little montage for Mike Lang. Okay. some of his great calls. So for the Grand Swabini, for Hockey Jesus, I'm your technical director, RIP Mike Lang. We'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_06: LeMieux left side, walking to the net. Here he comes. He shoots and scores! Miriam LeMieux. Oh, great. Ball's up. It's a knockoff. It's skated by. LeMieux's in on goal. A shot. He shoots and scores. Miriam LeMieux beats Casey like a red and blue. Makes a little move.

null: He shoots and scores.

SPEAKER_06: Miriam LeMieux beats Moe like a red and blue. The chance back again. Capitals in. Cuts to the net. Makes a move. Goes around behind. Stops it in. Oh, what a play by LeMieux. Michael, Michael, motorcycling, cuts for the net. Lemieux's in, his backhand shot, score! Oh, stop the press! Muriel Lemieux beats Malarchuk, and the Penguins win it 7-6! Younger, feed it across, here's Lemieux right in front, makes a little move! And he beats Fulbright like a redded mule! And the big ones lead 5-4. Go for the hat-trick. Lemieux breaks in against Chiray, makes it, Mooney! Shoots and scores! Turns his head around him, makes a move, shoots, and scores! Oh, great balls of fire! Mario Lemieux! Coming to the Bruins, they got around both big, cutting for Lemieux, he's still on goal! Hey! He shoots and scores! What a goal by Miriam Lemieux! Carl Arnold's leg from Turtle Creek. What a goal by Lemieux! Lemieux shoots, scores! Miriam Lemieux! He doesn't get too many fans. Lemieux behind the goal, turns around in the back. He shoots and scores! He's got a man wide open, Gunny for the net. Stevens going to get it to him. He shoots himself. He's going to come right towards that net. Lemieux makes a little more effort.