The Sports Porch Live in Pittsburgh - Steelers, Penguins, Pirates

Hockey Jesus: Sesame Street. How did they do that again? Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip,
Technical Director: We were remembering the Muppets earlier.

Hockey Jesus: Or the Sesame Street. I'm not exactly sure where that came from. Drop us a comment if you know.

Technical Director: Yes, thank you. This is the Sports Sports Podcast in Pittsburgh, and we do drop the podcast. We're live right now all over the world on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter. Anything else we can get our grubby little hands on? Are we on Instagram? Not right now. I'm having technical difficulties.

Hockey Jesus: I knew we were having technical difficulties. I just wanted to double check.

Technical Director: Yes, and we drop the podcast right after the show. You can subscribe to the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Or anywhere you get your freaking podcasts. And the first Buccos report of the season will be this Wednesday. Now that they've kind of ironed things out and they've got their opening day roster set, we'll get into that. Yes, they do. We're going to talk about the Steelers, of course, because that's what we do best. We have Hockey Jesus over here, right to my right in the house. He's going to talk about the Penguins. Um, not a whole lot to talk about. It would be a sad segment, but I do. And, and, and we are with the right light at the end, of course, because I am the hockey Gs. That's right. There's always a bright white light over your head at the end. There's a bright white light right now on your face.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. Well, you know what? I actually thought about shaving it live on the show. because it is coming off tonight because the Penguins are, they're essentially out of the playoffs.

Technical Director: Oh, this was the hockey.

Hockey Jesus: This was my, this was the hockey playoff beard. They failed. Yeah. And now they're out of the playoff race and now the beard needs to go.

Technical Director: No, I think you should leave it on.

Hockey Jesus: Uh, no, it's not a bad look for you. I know it comes, you know, you don't really got me. And maybe I said this last time, so I apologize, sports porters, if I'm doubling up here, but I have a hat that I wear and it's kind of like a baggy hat. and I had the baggy hat on with the beard and somebody called me Papa Smurf. I didn't really like it too much. You know why? Cause it was pretty close to the truth.

Technical Director: Drop, drop your comment. If you think Steve looks like Papa Smurf.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I'm not wearing the baggy hat. Yeah. With the baggy hat. Yeah. I think you should go for it. Actually. I do have the hat right over there, but I really don't want to put it on.

Technical Director: You didn't have it on when you came in the driveway.

Hockey Jesus: No.

Technical Director: Cause it's pretty warm out in Pittsburgh. Right. You were afraid I was going to call you Papa Smurf. Well, you have the right color on blue.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I always wear blue. Just ask my wife. That's true. You do. Yeah. Just ask my wife. I always wear black. It's a, it's a joke. It's a running joke in our house about how much blue I have. Why do you always wear blue? I just like blue. You know, Einstein only had like white shirts and like a black blazer. That's all he ever had in black pants.

Technical Director: Yeah, but it was in the 1930s. That's all everybody ever had.

Hockey Jesus: White and black. I thought maybe I'd just bring it back only this time with blue. Okay, Einstein.

Technical Director: That's how we named our first cat in college.

Hockey Jesus: That's how we named the cat. That's how Einstein got his name in college.

Technical Director: I need to pick a picture up of him. I think David has it right by the way. Yeah. What is DG got it right?

Hockey Jesus: I haven't, I haven't seen it makes me, it makes me look like I'm living in a van down by the river. I think you're, I think you're spot on with that.

Technical Director: What a great guy. Absolutely.

Hockey Jesus: I don't remember where I was going, but, uh, you know, it's free, it's free flow. Cause we're without Schwab tonight.

Technical Director: That's true. Where I was going. I'm glad you said that was that. that if you're going to, you should keep that. How would you shave it? Would you shave it with cream or would you use the razor?

Hockey Jesus: What I do first when it gets this big and out of control, I get the electric razor and I just skim it and then I get it down to a point where I can just get the blade out.

Technical Director: So what we should actually do is make Schwab grow a beard. Now, wouldn't that be? Oh, that would be fun. I know he's watching.

Hockey Jesus: There's no way he's not. I've never seen him with facial hair.

Technical Director: I, I saw a picture at his house when we were watching, doing some of the football stuff there of it was of him and his wife, uh, Amy, Amy May. I don't know if she's watching that. She might be down in Florida. Yeah, they might be together. Um, they might be. And, uh, but, but it was an old picture, you know, he, he had his classic baseball hat on, you know, his face was a little thinner, like we were back then.

Hockey Jesus: He had a little goatee going. He used to wear a little goatee. You're right. I do remember the goatee. It was brief. But in, in all of the nineties, when everybody was wearing those big burly beards, not Mark.

Technical Director: Yeah, no. And I wasn't wearing that.

Hockey Jesus: I have the feeling he can grow a mean beard too. I mean, he, he's got hair. everywhere.

Technical Director: I mean, we all have hair everywhere.

Hockey Jesus: We're men of that age.

Technical Director: We got people dropping off. They don't even want to watch this. I'm going to put this up. Listen, Hockey Jesus is doing a fantastic job on our YouTube channel. You can, you can get Hockey Jesus, his analysis of the Penguins game and NHL hockey. And I'm sure we'll talk about this later in the show. Absolutely. On our YouTube channel. I'm going to put a link in the comments. We're trying to build our YouTube subscribers right now. We have a blistering 22. Yeah, but we were like 10. Yeah, I know. Since Hockey Jesus started. And your latest update. has the most views of, dare I say, any video on our channel so far.

Hockey Jesus: Well, you know why that is. I kind of went off on a few tangents and brought in some other people.

Technical Director: I know you did. So here's the link to our YouTube channel. Please go there and subscribe right now. DG is in the house, of course, and he is subscribed. We thank him and he leaves a comment. Leave comments on the videos if you have something good to say. And DG says happy belated birthday to the Grand Schwabini, who is now a very spry, young, 54 years old. Yeah, he's an old man now. You know, I never even thought, Chet, I never thought I'd make it to 30, to be honest with you. I know none of you guys thought I'd make it to 30, but let alone all of us.

Hockey Jesus: When you made it to 30, we were like everything else is gravy at this point.

Technical Director: That came out way too authentic. Well, you know, yeah.

Hockey Jesus: What are we going to do? All right.

Technical Director: Let's get to some sports sports podcast. Also anywhere you get your podcast. First thing we want to do is something we didn't do last week. Um, we promised we were going to do it during the show and we forgot. We want it. We want to, I forgot that we forgot. Extend our congratulations, of course, to the Duquesne Dukes, the men's basketball team on a great season. The upset of Butler, not really a huge upset, but the upset of Butler. No, Kentucky or no, they didn't beat Kentucky. They beat Butler. No, look it up. Look it up. No, you look it up. Look it up. I'm going to look it up. Dude, who has settle this for us right now?

Hockey Jesus: I don't feel like who has 490 points on their ESPN bracket.

Technical Director: I don't care about that. I know you're wrong. I would bet my Pretzel nuggets.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, no, we're both wrong. It was BYU. That's why.

Technical Director: Thank you very much. Like I said, you were wrong. It was BYU. So they beat BYU and then they lost to Illinois. We got that one, right? Yeah. They got smashed. They did.

Hockey Jesus: They did. But Illinois came out and said, uh, Cinderella, there goes your shoe. That's right. I just like stomped on it the rest of the game. I know. I know. That's a really good team, by the way, Illinois.

Technical Director: Yeah, I was I was listening to the fan or something. I don't know. I was driving around while that game was on in the afternoon or something on my way. It was something like that. And then I heard the score and I was like, and it was near the end of the first half and they were down by 15 or something. I was like, oh, that sucks. They're done.

Hockey Jesus: But but you know what? There were a lot of teams that got smashed yesterday. dude killed somebody by like 40 points. Uh, North Carolina crushed whoever they were playing by like 40 points. There weren't a lot of close games except for that, um, Oregon game. Uh, my God, two overtimes against Oakland, right?

Technical Director: Uh, yeah.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. That was crazy. No, no, no. It wasn't Oregon, Oakland. It was, uh, No, Oakland lost. Yeah. Or, or yeah, that's right. Oakland lost. Oakland lost the UNC.

Technical Director: This is how close attention we pay to NCAA basketball now.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I mean, I was, I was forced to fill out a bracket this year. I haven't in a while, but you know, Max decided that this was the year that the family gets in on everything. So he set up a bracket and he sent out a link. So of course I'm going to fill it out. Right. Did Susan fill one out? Oh yeah, she was like in the lead for most of the time. She has no clue. My wife is not a sports fan. It's like monkeys in the stock market throwing darts at a board. Most of you guys can probably relate to having a wife who could care less about sports. That's my wife. I can definitely relate to that. And, um, but yet every time she picks games, it's like, she's like either at the top or like in the second or third. And usually by the end it kind of fades. Yeah. Because you know, you can only get lucky like in the first, you know, 50%. Yes. But after that, you do need a little bit of skill after that. If your team survive, if they don't, then, you know, you can get lucky again.

Technical Director: Or yeah, maybe you can get lucky.

Hockey Jesus: So, yeah. So as it turns out, I'm in first place with 490 points, which is.

Technical Director: This is the bracket you've been bragging about, your family bracket.

Hockey Jesus: No, no. Well, if you look at 490 points on ESPN, their, their tournament bracket, it like puts you at the top of the people who are on fire. It's like 500 is like Carlos Boozer. He's like the top guy. And then I'm right there beside like Greeny or somebody like that. But if you look at the overall thing, like the people who are in the lead, like the people who are really smart, they have like 600. All right. That's amazing. Like I literally like miss like one or two games.

Technical Director: That is amazing. And, and, uh, I didn't even fill out a bracket this year.

Hockey Jesus: I think it's the first year I haven't done it. The only reason I did was because Max sent out that link. If he did, I probably wouldn't have filled one out. Crazy.

Technical Director: Well, anyway, congrats to the Duquesne Dukes. First tournament since 1977. First tournament win since 1969. I guess their coach is retiring.

Hockey Jesus: Hey, he's going out on a high note. I know they got smashed by Illinois, but still, to beat BYU the way they did.

Technical Director: Yeah. Well, to make the tournament, you know, and I know there's a lot of people screaming, Pitt should have made it, blah, blah, blah. The bottom line here is I don't really care.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, and the ACC is actually doing quite well. So yeah, it's not shutting those people up at all.

Technical Director: Yeah. So all right, let's move on to the Steelers here. What are your thoughts on Quez Watkins and the Steelers wide receiver core now? We were exchanging. Well, you and you and Schwab.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, Mark was saying it because Quez came from Philadelphia. So right. I couldn't tell if he was giving us a jab, or if he was like, hey, you got Quez now. He's pretty good. I really couldn't tell. But I can tell you that a guy who can't break into the lineup, even when their other wide receivers are hurt, is not a good wide receiver.

Technical Director: Well, I think this is kind of putting a body in that room for right now.

Hockey Jesus: I agree. It's just another body.

Technical Director: Because the draft is coming up, and it's a pretty deep draft.

Hockey Jesus: for the Steelers or well for, for wide receivers. I mean, they got Van Jefferson, right? Yep. So, I mean, they got him and they still got Pickens. Yep. Um, and they have, uh, CA three and they got Calvin Austin in the third and they got another guy who's a wide receiver who hasn't played. Yeah. No, it was another rookie who they put on the practice squad because they wanted to protect him. Anyway, once again, just another body, right? And I don't know, I mean, I guess it doesn't matter as much. It's hard to know that you got two new quarterbacks. So they're going to have to learn.

Technical Director: They got three. Now they signed Kyle. Oh yeah. I did see that really looking forward to that. Whatever. They'll probably cut them before the end. Well, they need to have three in the roster. So they have, that's true, I guess. Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: I know. Anyway, these new quarterbacks are going to have to learn to throw to the new wide receiver. So somebody is going to probably shine out of that group. Probably be Van Jefferson, be honest with you. And doesn't he get injured a lot?

Technical Director: He gets injured.

Hockey Jesus: Uh, he doesn't play that much because remember he was behind, uh, Cooper cup in hookah Nakua. Yeah. So, but, but there's a guy, I think he probably could have broke broken through the lineup, but those guys never got injured and he never really played except for, I remember you telling me that story about he was like a one week fantasy stud. And then it was like the guy, everybody was going to pick up who? Oh, no, that was, I was talking to Scott about that. Yeah. So Scott was telling me, he was like, the only reason I know about him was he was like, he played one week. Are we still talking about this nameless player? No, no. Van Jefferson. Oh, okay. They came from, uh, uh, the Rams, right? He, uh, I guess Cooper cup was out one week and he like lit it up. So when he got a chance to play, he played really well. Yeah. Um, so yeah, we'll see.

Technical Director: What are you going to do? So I think that that's just a body in the room.

Hockey Jesus: No, I think, but I think Quez is, I have no thoughts about him. To me, he's, here you go, CD, CD.

Technical Director: Here's the connection right here. The doctor says, uh, uh, Arthur Smith had Van Jefferson in Atlanta for half a year. So there's, there's a familiarity with the, with the, uh, scheme.

Hockey Jesus: That's why he'll end up being a number two guy. Most likely.

Technical Director: I'm not looking, I'm not looking forward to our receiving core this year right now.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I mean, that's because they don't run backwards. They probably know how to run routes really well.

Technical Director: No, I'm not looking forward to it.

Hockey Jesus: I'm not. Well, you like Deontay Johnson because. No, I didn't like Deontay Johnson. He was always an adventure. I hated him. And whether he would run backwards or forwards.

Technical Director: Don't accuse me of liking him. I did not like him at all. Uh, Quez is Austin backup. Ah, that, that's what CD is saying. Steelers freak is watching us on YouTube. He says Smith used two tight ends and two wide receivers when with the Titans.

Hockey Jesus: Um, yeah, I mean, see that happening. Maybe Washington comes along with fire moose.

Technical Director: I, I actually, you know, that, that comment stealers freak actually is, I appreciate that because these guys know last year I was a huge Darnell Washington fan. Cause that guy, I want to see a lot of him because you could basically throw the ball within, I don't know, a half a mile of him. And if he doesn't catch it, he's not going to let anybody else catch it. And if he does catch it, I don't care if he can't run fast. Nobody's going to tackle the guy. He's a he's a beast. He's a monster. Right. And, you know, having him on the on using a too tight end set. He's also an additional offensive lineman. I mean, I think they have a special, I'm not going to say he's some kind of superstar because we don't know that. No, we don't. But they have a special talent at that position because of this guy's size and athletic ability. And I really think that that may have played into Arthur Smith. coming over here because he's looking at Friar Muth who can catch the ball and run with it. Yeah. And Darnell Washington who's your, you know, who's your big man. Maybe. In the Senate.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, I like the idea of two tight ends and two wide receivers just because it doesn't give away the run. You know what I mean? You can run out of that pass set. And if you play action, which he loves to play action a lot, then that can bust open a guy either deep. And he likes to throw deep in the play action too. So that works well for pickings if it's a one-on-one situation, which you got to figure Russ is going to be able to see that right away. Having a veteran quarterback is going to make a big difference in that situation.

Technical Director: That's what I am looking forward to. So Kyle is in the house, porch of the sports. Say, Kyle, what's up? He says, we need a Pittsburgh Property Diva plug. You know, the beauty of this show, Kyle, is that if you ask for it, you get it. There you go. I want to thank the Pittsburgh Property Diva for being our biggest sponsor.

Hockey Jesus: And I want to thank Kyle for bringing it on. Kyle, what's up? What are you working on that flight from Pittsburgh to San Francisco? I need a cheap flight from Delta. Let's go get on it.

Technical Director: There you go. Steelers freak says Washington has tackled dimensions. He just needs more weight to change positions. I don't know if he needs more weight. He also says, Oh yeah, to play the tackle position.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, for sure. He would.

Technical Director: He also says they could wrap another blocking tight end in the late rounds. Moose blocking is below average.

Hockey Jesus: You know, since Steelers freak brought it up, that tackle position, um, both, uh, both con and, uh, Tomlin were about moving, um, my man broader Jones to the left side. They were like, eh, he's doing pretty good on the right side, you know? So I think they're going to keep Dan more over there and they're going to keep broader Jones on the right side, which means we don't really need a tackle. What we need is a center.

Technical Director: Well, yeah, and they're talking about her big play in center. But I think that's a smoke screen.

Hockey Jesus: Khan really, really talked up her big is every time they center every time they talk somebody up, they go in another direction.

Technical Director: I think that's a smoke screen. I think the Steelers are going to take a center. with the 20th pick in the draft. That's what I think they're going to do.

Hockey Jesus: I think if the center they want is there, I agree with you. I think they're going to stay on the let's beef up the offensive line mantra that they started last year. It makes sense. It does make sense. They need a good center. Absolutely. And I would applaud that direction.

Technical Director: I think their biggest needs are center. I think their biggest needs are the offensive line still and the defensive line. Because if you, you know, we've had this argument or this debate for a long time, you got to start in the trenches. I mean, you have to, it doesn't matter what kind of offense you run.

Hockey Jesus: I don't know. They got, they got Leal still, right? I mean, so, and I know Cam's going to play one more year.

Technical Director: That's my point. They have to set up that line for success.

Hockey Jesus: But Cam's not playing, Cam's not playing at a high level right now anyway. So, I mean, he's playing like basically a rookie would play.

Technical Director: Hmm. I, I, I disagree with that. He, he may not be playing at a high level from a physical standpoint, but he's certainly playing at a high level from a mental standpoint. And, and that, that does go for something.

Hockey Jesus: CD says plenty of centers can wait until the second, right? Okay. Maybe, maybe. Yeah. If the talent is good enough to wait for the second, just wait till the second.

Technical Director: Who would you take first CD? Who would you take first? You know, let's see, DG has a comment.

Hockey Jesus: You end up going with the wide receiver at that point.

Technical Director: Yeah, right. Smith supposedly likes to open up over the middle, but I keep hearing that Wilson right in fields aren't big on throwing in the middle. What do you think? Yeah. I think that's a concern that I have as well. But I think when you look at the when you look at the way Russell Wilson plays. CD's going quarterback in the first round. I know that's ridiculous.

Hockey Jesus: You're ridiculous.

Technical Director: Yeah. Stick to, stick to being a physician. Okay.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, offensive tackle. Right.

Technical Director: Okay. Good enough.

Hockey Jesus: Honestly, I think, I think they, they love Dan Moore jr too much. I don't think they can get their lips off of his cheeks.

Technical Director: Yeah, I would think, well, I would think, actually you kind of, you, you, you just reversed positions with me now. That's what you did. Yeah, I did. I did. So now I'm trying to settle into being Steve.

Hockey Jesus: That's okay. Yeah. That's impossible.

Technical Director: You don't have a beard anyway, so you can't do it. I shaved mine yesterday cause I had a date last night with my wife at Alta Via in Fox Chapel, which is a great restaurant. Oh yeah. Alta Via is great place. Yeah. Who'd have thought that, um, Big burrito would come out with an Italian restaurant that was super good.

Hockey Jesus: No, they were good anyway. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, it's excellent. Um, so, uh, Smith over the middle, isn't there like a Chris Mims as a quarterback?

Technical Director: Uh, no, that's Chris Sims. And he's now, he was Phil Sims as kid. And he's now a moron on the NFL network.

Hockey Jesus: Actually, he's not a more, I'm really out of it. I apologize today. So no, I had a rough week last week. I'm allowed to be a little, you did have a rough week. I'll give you that.

Technical Director: Yeah. D G was talking about Wilson thrown over the middle. Um, when you look at the way Russell Wilson plays though, he, he is a mobile quarterback. He likes to move around in the pocket. He likes to leave the pocket. Yeah. He's very good at throwing outside of the pocket, which if you understand football, then you know, and I'm not saying you don't, DG, but if you understand his game, you know that if he's scrambling to the right or scrambling to the left, More often than not he's not gonna throw back across over the middle. That's why Russell Wilson does not throw over the middle I don't think it's because he's afraid to I think I think if he's in the pocket and there's a guy open in the middle and That the play was designed for that like a tight end up the seam, right? Then yeah, he's gonna throw over the middle Justin Fields on the other hand I think is a project and I would agree with you that throwing over the middle for him is more of a concern because there's just a lot of bodies in the middle of the field. Yeah. And that's why, uh, he's going to learn from Russell Wilson. I, I happened to really, the more I thought about it, I really like the quarterback situation that we have right now. I really like it. I talked about it last week. I talked about how I, um, uh, think that it's a great thing that they've done as far as, I mean, you can take the economics out of it. It doesn't matter. It's a great thing they've done as far as, uh, Justin Fields has stated that his mentor, he modeled his game when he was younger after Russell Wilson. And now he's got his, his, you know, hero, so to speak in front of him. And I think you're taking for all this talk, will there be, you know, I saw Stephen A. Smith, you know, will there be a quarterback quarterback controversy?

Hockey Jesus: Maybe.

Technical Director: I mean, well, there's always there's always a potential for a controversy at that position. Maybe if one of them gets injured in the preseason, that's not that's not what's being set up here. What's being set up is we've got it. We've got a proven quarterback at this position, a veteran who is one and can play. We've got a young guy who's got an immense amount of talent, but just can't seem to get the game down as far as reading the defense and calling the plays. And now he's going to learn from his mentor for a year. That's what I think their plan is right now. Could it backfire? Sure, it could backfire.

Hockey Jesus: Here's the thing with Justin Fields that they got to manage. It's his turnovers. They got to teach him how to be more careful with handling the ball when he runs, right? You don't, he's a fumbling machine. He's a fumbling machine. And he's a, he's an interception machine too. He has like 68, 68 turnovers in his career.

Technical Director: I know he likes set a record. I know, I know.

Hockey Jesus: So that's what they need to work on before they can say, okay, let's make some plays for him. Because if he can come, if he can come in and be careful with the ball and be, you know, that change of pace quarterback, I'm okay with him draw them drawing some plays up for him. But as far as starting it's Russ's team Oh, yeah, no doubt.

Technical Director: No doubt about it. Now. This is what I don't like now Let me get CDs comment in here rushes short can't see over the line. Hey drew Brees couldn't either Steelers freak says fields must prove he can be a pocket passer. No run first QB has won a ring yet. I know you meant to spell that W o n but that's okay Steelers

Hockey Jesus: No, we're good with that.

Technical Director: We can, we can read. Yeah, we understand. We can read. It's, it's, it sounds the same.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. So I want to go back to the draft. I like the idea of drafting a cornerback in the first round. If they, if they wait to the second round, there's this Nate Wiggins, if he can make it that far right now, he's ranked like 14th position. And the, the worst thing I think they would have to do is take Kool-Aid McKinstry. He's, he's further down the line.

Technical Director: And that is his real name, isn't it?

Hockey Jesus: I love that name. Hey, Kool-Aid man, come on. Just think of what they can put on the Jumbotron. That would be so much fun. Yeah, I guess you're right about that. And it's about having fun. I guess it is. If you're going to spend $120 for your ticket, you want to have fun. You want to see Kool-Aid man come out of that scoreboard, right? Okay. Don't you? Yeah. Sure.

Technical Director: First and right out of it.

Hockey Jesus: Give out free Kool-Aid. Yeah. You know, Kool-Aid packets.

Technical Director: Right. Kool-Aid in first round or take Kool-Aid.

Hockey Jesus: Are you drinking the Kool-Aid?

Technical Director: That's cool. Eight in the first round says CD or take the white boy from Iowa.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, he's, he's going, he's going up the, um, he's going up the ranks and they, they went and got a safety. I think he plays safety anyways. Doesn't he? That white boy. I'm pretty sure he does. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's a safety, but he's a really good safety. Yeah. But I think them going out and get that guy from, uh, the dolphins, I think they've pretty much solidified their safety.

Technical Director: No, I think, yeah, they've given Minka something to work with now. He can play his game and signing Patrick Queen.

Hockey Jesus: I think it's a little too early to take the Kool-Aid man, but hey, it's fun. It's fun to say Kool-Aid man. Yeah, I guess.

Technical Director: I guess. So what are your thoughts on the Steelers right now? Here's the last thing I want to say on that.

Hockey Jesus: Don't forget we got to talk about that tackling stuff.

Technical Director: Oh yeah, we'll get there in a second. This is the one thing that I really don't like about Mike Tomlin when it comes to stuff like this. His speech today. He's quoted as saying that Russell Wilson is currently in the pole position. Yes. All right. Look, what does that really mean? I mean, you're leaving that open to interpretation.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I mean, pole position means it's a race. I know. And there are like 15 people in the race, right? We already know there are 15 people in the race. There are three people in the race and there are two guys. One has to be in the first position. One has to be in the second and one has to be in the third. He's just saying gobbledygook. Yeah. That's what he's saying.

Technical Director: Yeah, but see, that's that's the kind of the mixed message that he's right now.

Hockey Jesus: He's in the pole position. Yeah.

Technical Director: But there's a race that's about to take place. Yeah. What are they going to do? I mean, if if you don't start Russell Wilson, you're an idiot. That's the way I see it.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, it's just, it's just a Tomlin ism to make him sound a little more mysterious about the position when he doesn't need to be. He can say, Russ is a proven leader. He's going to do great for our team and he's going to bring Justin Fields along and he'll be a better quarterback by the end of the year. Wouldn't it be great if he just said that? Exactly. It would be. I can't tell you how many times he said fluidity. in the interview.

Technical Director: Yeah. Yeah. Do you think he pulls out a thesaurus before every press conference and like works out?

Hockey Jesus: The conversations went very fluid. Yeah. When talking about Justin Fields, it's like, uh, I've never had fluid in my conversation.

Technical Director: Yeah. I mean, I've had fluid conversations.

Hockey Jesus: I understand where he's going with that, but it's just like, you don't have to say fluidity all the time. Yeah.

Technical Director: Although that's an, I kind of like the way that word sounds, fluidity. No, I, no. You don't like that?

Hockey Jesus: It reminds me too much of my mechanics and materials class. Oh. And, and all I can think about is laminar flow and turbulent flow and chaotic flow. And I'm trying to calculate how much fluidity is really going on.

Technical Director: Yeah. When you said those three things, what was it? Laminate flow, turbulent flow, and chaotic flow. Yeah. Yeah. That reminded me of the spice channel. Anybody remember the Spice Channel? Raise your hand. Come on, Steve, raise your hand. Where's Chuck when we need him? Where's Chuck? Okay, DG, my thoughts on our QBs. We can be in good shape if Wilson isn't a diva who sucks like he did two years ago, or we could just continue mediocrity. CD's calling Hockey Jesus the engineering freak.

Hockey Jesus: It happens. That's what I can't help it.

Technical Director: So before we get into what the NFL did with tackling, what do you think would be worse? Let's consider this poll position. Yeah. Okay. So another reminder of the spice channel. Um, if, if Russell Wilson starts and looks bad or Justin Fields starts and looks bad first game of the season, which is worse. What's a worse look for the Steelers? If Russell Wilson is just in fields. Exactly.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, exactly.

Technical Director: Because now you've just he's done. Yeah. You know, Wilson can go in and suck and he can come out of the press conference and literally say, I didn't play well today. I'm a leader here, blah, blah, blah.

Hockey Jesus: And either there's an excuse anyway. Whoever starts just because everything's new. The receivers are new. The offense is new. Right. Building is new. The field is new. Everything about. the offense is going to be new. So they're going to have lots of excuses why they didn't play well, but it would be much worse for Justin Fields to go out there and do that because he's had a lot of mistakes happen. And if that continues, that would be a continuation of a problem that's not fixed, which is another reason why you play Russ.

Technical Director: Right. And if Russ goes in and plays bad the first game, you're not going to hear people scream and put in Justin Fields. He's going to he's going to get the next game or the next or the next two games. Yeah. Whereas if if Fields becomes a starter, he plays one bad game. All all of Steelers Nation is going to be screaming, put in Russell Wilson. What are you doing? Right. So Russell Wilson is the starter in my book. So Steelers Freak also says Wilson has a better chance at winning a playoff game than Fields. Right now, I believe that. Yeah, that's for sure. Which addresses the immediate need. Right.

Hockey Jesus: OK, so let's get to the playoffs first. But yeah, you're absolutely right. You feel much better with a veteran quarterback like Russell Wilson and they're starting a playoff game against Baltimore or whoever you'd end up playing. As long as it's not against Kansas City, I give him a chance. And you know what? He's he's played against Kansas City now. He's been in Denver a couple of years.

Technical Director: He has. And they won. They beat him. Yeah, they beat him last year, didn't they?

Hockey Jesus: They beat them in the regular season. Yeah, not in the playoffs.

Technical Director: We know that. Okay, moving on to something that I really don't understand and I'm going to have Hockey Jesus explain this to me. What is a hip tackle and why did the NFL ban it?

Hockey Jesus: So a hip tackle, you've seen it a thousand times. It's when a guy is kind of, a guy is running and there's a guy running either beside him or maybe slightly behind him. And he grabs him basically around the waist and like jumps on his legs to pull him down.

Technical Director: OK, yeah, that kind of looks like every tackle to me.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, right, right. Or it can happen from the side to when like, you know, guys running this way kind of slow and the guy comes this way. And instead of like putting a helmet or a shoulder on him, he just grabs him by the waist and kind of spins him around.

Technical Director: OK, so is it defined as any tackle where contact is initiated by wrapping your arms around their hips? That's something like that.

Hockey Jesus: That's the thing they don't actually specify. OK. So what you're doing is you're giving the referees a little bit more leeway on a call that could be a hip tackle or not a hip tackle. To me, this stinks. to the scripting that goes on in the NFL. It gives them another thing that they can script like, okay, this game we're going to call the hip tackle. Yeah. And it's going to happen in the third quarter when the other team isn't doing well. And I don't know what the penalty is. I think it's, I think it's 10, 10 yards in a first down maybe or something like that. Right. Automatic first down. So it's like guaranteed to, to, you know, get the first down no matter what happens.

Technical Director: We'll see if they call it in the preseason. Um, DG says it's a hip drop tackle. Okay. So that's what they're calling it right now. Here's something Steelers freak says, and he's watching us on YouTube and go back in the comments and look for our, our YouTube channel. We would love for you to subscribe there. I will actually, um, um, drop that comment, drop the link in the comments again, for you to go there and subscribe so you can catch the hockey Jesus updates and, All of our live shows are on YouTube as well. Including the Hockey Jesus. That's right. I said Hockey Jesus first.

Hockey Jesus: No, because I am. I thought you were. I'm in the pole position. You are.

Technical Director: That's one of my favorite. Division plus drama, says Steelers Freak, equals more cash for talking heads. Wilson versus Fields discussions will continue. Yes. Yes. Bring on the discussions. More cash for talking heads. That's what we are. Yeah. Talking heads.

Hockey Jesus: I wish we were getting some of that cash. That would be fantastic. Steelers Freak. We're working on it. Yeah. We're working on it. We're getting there. We're making our way through the small cash to get to the big cash.

Technical Director: Yeah. And the cash is pretty small right now. um all right let's get this comment here cd says hip drop tackle is like spice channel content dirty or not you know dirty when you see it you know when you see it mike yeah that's the worst i know uh mike lauren says i think the hip tackle will be unnecessary roughness with 15 and an automatic first down god mike you're probably right which would be even worse yeah i know i you know listen these guys

Hockey Jesus: you know, the Mike Ditka's, you know, the guy could run for like 15 yards and then they make a hip tackle and get another 15 yards. And there's a 30 yard play. We're boom. Yeah. Hey, but you know what? That actually helps the Steelers if they have a really good runner. That's true. You know, and if they have a really good running, yeah.

Technical Director: How do you not, how is that?

Hockey Jesus: You know, I, I have a feeling that's going to bring the big back, back to the NFL.

Technical Director: Yeah, I have a feeling that maybe there's a little bit more behind this.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, I, you know, you know what it's about. It's about giving the referees a little bit more leeway to make more decisions, to make the outcome of the game beneficial to whoever they want it to be.

Technical Director: Uh, what's DG saying here? I certainly played at a much lower level, but as a safety DG, you were a safety. I made tackles like this, not by design, but by any method that I could take a guy down. Exactly. I don't know how you can keep this out. That's right. To quote my favorite Steeler says the doctor just put a dress on them.

Hockey Jesus: Well, that's where they're headed. They're headed the flags. They're headed to a place that no, none of us will watch.

Technical Director: And it's kind of sad. What I think would be great is this. And my, my reference, I said, Mike Ditka earlier, it wasn't because I was having a seizure in the words. Mike Ditka came out. What I'm talking about is the old time guys that played and they played the roughest football you could play. Yeah. They, you know, they had the, the clothesline tackle was legal back then. You could, you could kill people on the field. You can pick them up and slam them. I know. They also made almost no money. Now these guys are getting a guarantee, you know, from the lowest guarantee for a kicker of like $10 million all the way up to the highest guarantee for your quarterbacks of $200 million. The amount of money they're getting guaranteed to play now is going up. Well, and we're treating them more like chandeliers.

Hockey Jesus: Let them play. NFL has become big business now.

Technical Director: I want violence. I want hitting. That's why you play the game. That's why we watch it.

Hockey Jesus: But let's face it. You're not going to watch the game if the starting quarterback gets knocked out and suddenly the game just sucks a lot. Well, that is true. And that's what they're trying. That's what they're trying to eliminate. But I think this hip drop tackle is going a little too far. We'll see how it works out this year. But my concern is they're just trying to let the referees have a little bit more leeway to make the outcome of the game more beneficial to whoever they want. And I know that's conspiratorial. But I'm standing by it.

Technical Director: So here's something. CD says Dr. Talk hip drop out of the game saves high ankle sprains, foot fractures and ankle dislocations. It's a good move.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, God, who brought the doctor into the conversation? He did.

Technical Director: And that's called gaslighting. I knew he was trying to gaslight you.

Hockey Jesus: But he's probably right. But I don't care. I say get tougher there. How about that? Yeah, I agree. Get tougher. Give him a bionic ankle after it breaks off. Just cut it off and six million dollar man that bitch. You know what they say?

Technical Director: You know what they should do? Let's start the NFL, the Prosthetic League. The National Prosthetic Football League.

Hockey Jesus: You want to come back? You break your ankle off, get the prosthetics. Just cut it off and put a fake one on. I would watch that.

Technical Director: Guys with fake legs running down the field throwing the ball.

Hockey Jesus: Dude, that's where they're headed. They're headed to robots. You like that? You think so? Oh yeah, there'll be a robot league. For sure.

Technical Director: Well, that may be not in our lifetime. You know, Elon is working on that right now.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, no doubt about that.

Technical Director: Yes, he is. All right. Let's see. Steelers freak. The NFL has been scripting for years for a few years. That is why offensive holding is called sparingly. It wants points and healthy starting QB is not sex.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, I think. Yeah. And you can call holding on almost almost any play. The fact that T.J. Yeah. cries about it, is all you need to know. Because he does get held a lot, but you know what? Be a man, get a robotic chest, and just get a hand that just comes right out of your chest and punches them when they hold you like that.

Technical Director: Lord knows they make enough money to buy a robotic chest. I mean, seriously. Okay, let's move on here. We're going to talk, oh man, we got the comments coming in like crazy.

Hockey Jesus: I do have to… The corporate sponsorship The sports porch was not allowed in on those conversations. So we're banning that talk this week. But maybe we'll talk about it next week.

Technical Director: My buddy Jeff from York is in the house. Thanks, Jeff. They had the stats on ESPN today out of 260 plus hip tackles. Out of all the tackles in the NFL, there are only 260 hip tackles. Let's see how many, let's see how many of those, that would have been technically 260 penalties last year.

Hockey Jesus: Let's see, 260 times 15. Yeah. That's 2,600 yards. Plus I have 1,300. Plus I have 1,300. Yeah, so 3,900 yards. So 3,900, almost 4,000 yards.

Technical Director: That's like, that's like eight more touchdowns. 15 injuries, not, not sure how serious those injuries were. Steelers freak. The 70s D would be arrested for attempting murder.

Hockey Jesus: So would the Oakland Raiders. And Jack Tatum, he would not be able to play ever again.

Technical Director: Can't hit him in the head, says DG. Can't hit him in the knees, legs. Can't grab him around the waist to spin them down. I mean, you know, that's a good point.

Hockey Jesus: Yet the Steelers are focusing on the defense.

Technical Director: Yeah, you can't, yeah. Basically, they're eliminating the defense in these games. Who's going to be able to tackle Travis Kelsey now? I want to know, nobody. Well, Taylor Swift can. Yeah, well. Yeah. And that all has to do with pole dancing in the Spice Channel. So it all comes back. It does. Complete circular thought. That's what we're all about here on the sports porch. Circular thought.

Hockey Jesus: More like a circus. But yeah, I know what you mean. Similar letters.

Technical Director: Similar letters. Circus, circular. Welcome to the porch. At what point does the NFL become the NBA light? You know, like the score is going to be 72 to 63. Yeah. You know.

Hockey Jesus: I don't think it'll get that bad, but it'll be it'll be definitely something that will notice this year. I bet.

Technical Director: OK, thanks for being here. Want to remind you we got a couple more things we're going to talk about. I got one more comment here on football. I think coming in, I guess hit him in the nuts to drop him. There you go. They haven't talked about that yet.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, you're not allowed to punch someone in the nuts. They'll call that every time. You're not allowed to do that. Well, I mean, at the bottom of a pile when nobody's looking. Yeah, sure. It happens all the time. But they're already on the ground there. Exactly. That's right. I mean, you can't really see what's going on.

Technical Director: All right. Hockey Jesus preaches on the podcast. You're watching the Sports Sports Podcast right now, live on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube X. uh… and uh… we drop podcast right after the show on the apple uh… on apple podcast i heart radio apparently where you get to read about gasp and hockey jesus preaches after every single penguins game whether they have a good record a bad record whether sydney cross the scores a goal or not four point uh… and uh… hockey jesus is uh… right here now still is free to say in hockey jesus has the oppenheimer brain there you go Uh, what, what, what are we talking about here? Hockey Jesus looks like the penguins are done for the penguins are done.

Hockey Jesus: You think so? Yeah, they're done. I mean, they've got 70 points. I projected them to have 82 points at this point. That's six more losses than wins. Right. And, and that's enough. That's definitely enough to keep them out. Look, they're closer to the bottom than they are to the top. It's not true. It's not. It's not even close. So what they should try to strive to do is get as near to the bottom as they can. They can't hit the top. They can't hit the bottom five. The bottom five are out of reach, just like the top eight are out of reach right now.

Technical Director: Yeah, that, well, that's what you were talking about on the podcast last night.

Hockey Jesus: So, so they have to make a decision and I, they didn't have, they didn't make any moves today, which kind of pisses me off a little bit because I was hoping they bring pooling up today so that you'd be able to play tomorrow. I know that, uh, a chari, uh, got injured and, um, Carter's been out for a while. So there are two veteran guys that should not play the rest of the season as far as I'm concerned. Uh, I'd like pool Yarvey. He, they got him from Edmonton. Um, but he, he's a pretty much a known commodity at this point, right? Right. I gotcha. And, um, so if he doesn't play, that's fine with me, the more guys they can place on the bottom six. And I'd like to see them play together. I think would make a lot of sense just to see what you got there. They also have a, uh, a rookie goalie, uh, Bloomquist. I like to see him. come up and play a few games. One of their prospects got injured, and I can't remember who it was. I think it might be that new guy, that Paul, I'm going to say his name wrong, the guy that got in a trade with Genzel. I think he got injured, so he's not going to be able to come up. He's week to week, so that's not going to happen. Their Finstar is actually lighting up the playoffs. They're in the finals, and he actually had a hat trick over there. I don't know. I think maybe he might be somebody to look for next year, but you're not going to be able to see him play. What's his name? Can you pronounce it? I cannot pronounce it. It's one of those crazy Finnish names. That's impossible. Well, let's start again. He's, he's, he's a guy that came over on the Gensel trade also.

Technical Director: Let's start learning Finnish for next year.

Hockey Jesus: I think I might have to. Yes. I think I might have to. So I'm trying to learn Canadian. Look, I was, I try not to listen to too many announcers because I don't like to steal people's stuff. Right. But I was listening to Mark Madden and Phil Bork today.

Technical Director: Well, Mark Madden is a pretty, he's a pretty astute hockey guy. I will give him that.

Hockey Jesus: he's the hockey genius. I mean, yes, that's above the hockey Jesus.

Technical Director: I find that hard to believe.

Hockey Jesus: But hey, well, no, it's true. The guy knows the guy knows everything about hockey. Anyway, they were talking and they were saying like, they can't figure out what's wrong with this team. And as they were talking, it became clear to me what's wrong with this team. They have too many veterans who are stuck in their ways and are not listening to their coach. Even though their coach tells them good things, they always revert back to what it is they know and they like. And the problem with that is you never try anything new. So that's why everybody says this team is stale. And they are stale for a very long time. And it's the leaders who need to change and they won't. So there's no way to fix that. You see what I'm saying? And then in the, in the, in the off season, they get a new GM. who brings in a bright, shiny toy that everybody thought was gonna be great, and he is just not a fit for this team. And now they're stuck with him because the bright, shiny toy they bought at retail price, they bought it at the sticker price, and now everybody wants it at a retail, which means we would probably have to suck $3 million up off of his contract just to get him off the books. That's a whole nother player you could get. So, if they can't figure that out, and by the way, I think, I don't know, I don't think anybody knows, but I think the ownership likes Sullivan, so they want to keep him. Yeah, that's obvious. I actually don't think it's about the money. No, I think it's obvious they like him. He'll get $16.5 million over the next three years, and that's how long he's signed for the next three years, if they got rid of him today. He would be signed before the beginning of next season and they wouldn't have to pay him a lick. He'd be signed in three days. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So, um, but they, they may have to go in that direction. I'll be honest with you. Just because the one thing you can do to shake up a team is change the coach.

Technical Director: That always happens, but I don't think they want to shake plenty of examples where they've, where, where a coach has come in mid season and they've not only made the playoffs, but they've gone to the Stanley cup. finals and one. So that hockey is that, that rare sport. It's so weird to me that you can do that. You can't do that in football. Baseball, it's been done as far as I know, a couple of years ago with the Phillies when they made the world series and lost it, they switched managers, but that never happens in baseball.

Hockey Jesus: There's so much momentum that happens in hockey. And once momentum's on your side, you can take that for a while and you have to take it for 16 games in the playoffs.

Technical Director: So that's all you really need to do. So why? I mean, okay, so you're, you're a hockey Jesus. My thought on this is this whole stale idea. I gotta be, I gotta be completely candid with you. Yep. I don't think it takes a hockey genius to come up with that idea. I've been thinking that my in this entire season, like these guys are just, it's just, it's not that they're old, but you know, some of them are showing. I mean, I think Malkin is definitely, he's fallen off that cliff. I agree. But, but the team is stale and that's been quite obvious since probably about mid season last year. Maybe sooner.

Hockey Jesus: But yeah.

Technical Director: Yeah. So, so the question is now is what, what you were addressing, you know, what do you do about it or how can you do something?

Hockey Jesus: I think that unfortunately what they're trying to do is they're just trying to bring in other people to fill those, those gaps on the bottom six, just bring up good young talent from your, from, from your player pool that you already have. I know there isn't a lot there, but you got to try it. Like they haven't tried Sam Poland.

Technical Director: ever. Why do you think that is? Because the, because the veterans kind of have a stranglehold on this?

Hockey Jesus: No, I think it's the people who are evaluating the talent say he doesn't have it, but if you don't bring them up, you don't know. Yeah. Like I think Pustanen is too small to play like all the time, but at least, at least the kid shoots the puck. He's not afraid. He's not afraid to go in the corners and get the puck. He's not afraid to shoot the puck. Like Gino's afraid to shoot the puck. Yeah. You can't score if you don't shoot. Right. So, and that's what you need. You need that. You need that. You need that excitement of being in the league. Like they played, uh, Jackson, Ivy, uh, Ivan, he, the, um, the other night for the first time, he looks good out there. I mean, does he make mistakes? Of course he's going to make mistakes. He's a rookie. That's why you got to play these rookies. Now let them make the mistakes now early in the next season. And then look, Drew O'Connor, they played him all year. He looks really good now. He's not making as many mistakes. I still don't know if he's a top six talent But I think he's what they call middle six talent now, right so he could play on the second or the third line I think interchangeably, but I just don't think he belongs on the top I'd rather see bunning up on the top line. By the way bunnings worked out fine for us. I know I Know that Gensel's worked out better for Carolina I think he's got

Technical Director: It's got a better team right now.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. I mean, Carolina is really flying and that's who's in town tomorrow night. So that's who I'll get to see. And I'll get to see the tribute video live. So there you go. There's a bonus. By the way, the last time I saw the game was Jake Gensel's last game in a Penguins uniform.

Technical Director: And now you're going to see him in a Hurricanes uniform.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, and I'll get to see the good old Yager banner at the top. So lots of things.

Technical Director: Do you think you'll get a Yager bobblehead now that they've acquired them?

Hockey Jesus: Oh, you could probably get them right now for a hundred dollars on eBay. That's amazing. Yeah. I did see that they, they found the bubble and whatever. Well, they got their next shipment.

Technical Director: DG says, I think Latang and Malkin have been underachieving. Do you think Latang has been too sloppy too often?

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, I agree with, you know, David, a lot of people don't believe that they're saying Lateng had his best year this year. I think he's really tailed off here at the end, to be honest with you. And I just think, I think him playing with Carlson was actually a boost for him, but it didn't help Carlson at all. And if those two guys can't figure out how to play together on the same team, somebody has got to go. It's not going to be Lateng.

Technical Director: Quick question. Is Malkin on the team next year?

Hockey Jesus: He has to be. No trade. He signed for another two years. Oh, he can always wait with his no trade. He could, but he's not going to do that. He would have to either retire, which he's probably not going to do that. I suggest that next year they put him on a wing. Don't make him a center. Put him on a wing where he can do less damage and honestly make him play with Sid.

Technical Director: Yeah. Okay.

Hockey Jesus: That's what I would do. Unless, of course, they get Gensel back and then, you know, that's all out the way.

Technical Director: Yeah. And Gensel is basically a rental. Gensel the rental for Carolina for right now.

Hockey Jesus: Looks like it. It doesn't look like they're… I haven't heard anything about any contract talks or anything. Well, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Yeah. I mean, it could happen at any time. Yeah. But I think they're focused on this playoff run coming up. Yeah. Yeah. And they got a good shot at catching the Rangers, although the Rangers looked good coming back against Florida the other night.

Technical Director: Um, I am not, I am, you know, I, I know the season's over for the most part, but I am looking forward to hockey. Jesus's analysis of the NHL playoffs, um, coming up, uh, for tomorrow night's game. Hey, did you know you could, you could go on your phone and do. Do a video on my phone. And do the YouTube. Yeah, you can go on, you can get the YouTube studio app. We'll talk about it after the show. It'll be just as easy as doing the live. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll do that. Yeah, you should, because we're going to have a million subscribers before you know it.

Hockey Jesus: Well, you know, people always like to see you at the PPG Arena too. I'm sure that'd be a big draw. Live at the PPG Arena. That's right. That's right. Well, you don't even have to do it live. Yeah, so.

Technical Director: Okay. Thanks for watching the sports porch live on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, and X. And of course you can catch the podcast right after the show. I drop it as soon as we're done here on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your fricking podcasts. And now we're going to move on to a little bucko talk because the pirate has come out of hibernation and uh, I think I'm going to wear a costume. You need a costume that DG sent. Yeah. Yeah. So real quick, real quick, what I'm going to do is I'm going to talk a little bit about the pirates right now. I'm going to talk about their opening day roster. I'm going to give you a quick analysis and trust me, it's going to be quick. Um, the pirates are going to suck. Thank you. And well, they play in a, they play in a very, very open, I'm not going to say a bad division, but they play in an open, totally open division baseball. I mean, there's no favorite. I love all the talk about the Cardinals and how they always seem to like they were really bad last year, but super they always seem to, you know, rise to the top. They've got a great ownership management, blah, blah, blah.

Hockey Jesus: Look, they're always going to be competitive, maybe.

Technical Director: you know i mean maybe it's just it's one of those things where i think they're just i i think there's more legend and lore there than there is real stuff um i don't know i don't know the last time they went they won a uh world series um it was within the last or 15 years, but I don't feel like looking it up. So, I do know that I did say last year, watch out for the Cubs. You did. Because they looked awful in the beginning of the season, but by the end of the year, they were coming on strong. I would say watch out for the Cubs again this year. They re-signed Cody Bellinger. Their pitching is kind of average, but they do have the bats. Milwaukee lost Corbin Burns to my favorite team, the Orioles. And, you know, the Buccos are my favorite team on this show. You know, I don't I don't know. But as far as the the opening day roster, of course, you've got Mitch Keller for, you know, as the quote unquote ace of the staff, Marco Gonzalez, Martin Perez, who won a World Series with the Rangers last year, Bailey Falter. I have no faith in him. And what I am happy about, though, is starting pitching is awful. Well, I would now it's not awful. See, that's the thing. Last year, they're starting pitching. was awful, except for Mitch Keller. Right. In the beginning of the year, they had some young guys like Ronzi Contreras.

Hockey Jesus: Well, they started the year, correct me if I'm wrong, 20 and eight. Yeah. Guys like pitching out of their mind. Right. Starting pitching. They had no business of doing that.

Technical Director: Right. So, you know, Jared Jones, though, I, I'm very happy that he made the roster. because he had a good spring 16 plus innings, no runs, something like seven hits or something. And he's young and he's young. I think he is the one that could be a surprise. He's no schemes. No, but schemes is going to be in Indianapolis. Why? Who knows?

Hockey Jesus: Just explain to me why.

Technical Director: Well, It has a lot to do with the, the year he's got to put a year of service in and all this kind of stuff. You know, there's some technicalities.

Hockey Jesus: So it's a bunch of bullshit is what you're telling.

Technical Director: Talking pirate sounds to me like the teacher from Charlie Brown says CD won't, won't, won't, won't, won't.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, it's, it's brutal. Okay. Well, but that's why this is the quickest segment we have. Yes.

Technical Director: And it's, and the less commenting you do CD, the quicker it'll go. I just want you to know that. What do I think about our starting rotation right now? Well, it's okay to say it sucks. Here's my problem with Mitch Keller. Mitch Keller just signed for him what is a huge deal. And we all know in baseball, all the money's guaranteed. He pitched his ass off last year. First half of the season, he looked like an ace. Second half of the season, he looked mediocre. now that he's been paid yeah we'll get that in there now that he now that he's been paid um i worry now that's a good thing to worry about actually yeah i do because he he deserved to get paid absolutely and and they didn't pay him that much money not not as far as for being a number one and and being the ace of a staff what i want to see out of mitch keller this year is I want to see determination. I want to see, I want to see him earn the money that he was paid.

Hockey Jesus: That seems fair.

Technical Director: Do I think he can do it? Yes, I do. What I worry about is I made my money. I always worry about that. Right. Marco Gonzalez and Martin Perez, they are experienced major league pitchers. They have had some success at the major league level. Yeah. They're solid from the standpoint of, you know what you're going to get. They can keep you in games. Yeah. So, you know, that's why I'm saying Bailey Falter. Just, you know, read his last name, Falter.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, Falter. He's a perfect, perfect name for the Pirates.

Technical Director: Jared Jones already had that discussion. Is he going to be the fifth starter? Yeah, most likely, because he's a rookie. So, and I want to see what he, if he pitches the way he pitched in spring, up at the Major League level, if he doesn't lose the courageousness that you need to have, then, you know, as my father was a great pitcher in college baseball, and he basically said, throw strikes. Even if you throw strikes down the middle, it's hard to hit Major League pitching. So don't dance around the plate, throw strikes. So, you know, then you've got Bednar, Chapman, Stratton, Baruchi, Fleming, Contreras, because they can't let him go. They're out of options with him. They have to release him. Ortiz and Ryder Ryan. OK, so Chapman, well, he's a rental, so we can get. uh… uh… you know draft picks sure yeah and and prospects but i mean he makes the bullpen better but he'll be fun to watch yeah between him and bednar that that that one two punch at the end yeah if they can if they can hold a close game or a one one run lead so i'm reading between the lines here but you're basically saying if they can get to the sixth inning with their with their frontline pitching then they got a chance of being in some games that's right and and they've been and other than bailey falter uh… who i have no faith in whatsoever And then Jared Jones, who has yet to pitch at the major league level. Right. Unknown. They've got three guys at the top of the rotation that know how to pitch. But, you know, what sucks is that's really all you can say about them.

Hockey Jesus: Right.

Technical Director: OK. And Holderman is, I think, starting the season on IR. He's the guy that came over from the Mets. Right. And if you have Holderman Chapman in Bednar and you go into even the fifth inning with a lead, you've got a good chance of winning the game.

Hockey Jesus: Right. I mean, they've got some good middle relief there for sure. Yeah, I got I got I have to talk about this Otani.

Technical Director: OK, so not Buccos baseball. How does Otani's interpreter have access to his bank account for four million? And Otani does not know what that's going on.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, he knows what's going on, Mike. It's called Run and Hide, Duck and Cover, also known as Spice Channels.

Technical Director: Yeah, right. Run and Hide, Duck and Cover. Oh, yeah, for sure. I think that was the name of the movie on the Spice Channels.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, for sure. Guaranteed. There were some other words after that, but yeah, 100%. But yeah, there's definitely some, there's some things Major League Baseball does not want to come out, and that's for sure. what the hell are you eating over there? You're chewing in my ear like a cow chewing on his cud. It's like, nom, nom, nom. I was waiting for you. I was waiting for you. I've been doing that all. I am eating. It's driving me nuts. I just was trying to withhold my ire.

Technical Director: I want to let all the sports portrait nation, I want to let, we're going to call it portrait nation. Portrait nation, got it. Portrait nation. No, I work at Trader Joe's. greatest grocery store in the planet. That's how I make a living. There's one near you, I'm sure. Right. And of course, I work there. But I am eating Trader Joe's. This is our Trader Joe's product sampling of the week. It's Trader Joe's premium peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets, which we're all familiar with. It's what I'm snacking on. What makes them premium? I don't, I don't know. I think I made up that word premium.

Hockey Jesus: Maybe it's the type of peanut butter in there.

Technical Director: Well, and I think it's also important to say that Trader Joe's is not paying for this. They are not a sponsor of the show. I just work there and I love their food. So every week we're going to have a Trader Joe's product of the week and we're going to talk about it real quick. Um, what do you think?

Hockey Jesus: I'd call it premium because the peanut butter does just kind of like melt away. Oh yeah. Like I'm a big fan of like dipping pretzels into like branch dressing. Yes. Clearly you wouldn't want to do that with the peanut butter. Maybe we'll try that though. No, we will not. Okay. It does get a little stuck though in my gum.

Technical Director: I don't like that. Does it get stuck in your craw? It gets stuck in my craw. What I would say about these as opposed to the other peanut butter pretzel nuggets is that the other ones are stuffed with too much peanut butter. These have just the right amount of peanut butter in them. I agree. Other than that, a nugget is a pretzel nugget is a pretzel. Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: You can still get the pretzel out of it. Yeah. I like CD's idea about it with Tony.

Technical Director: Okay. Well, I just put up, oh, I almost, I, I, okay. You cows crack me up.

Hockey Jesus: Thanks.

Technical Director: You're welcome. Uh, last time there was a gambling controversy like this, Jordan decided to play baseball. Maybe Otani can play center for the Clippers for two years.

Hockey Jesus: I don't think he would be a center. I think it would be more like a shooting guard.

Technical Director: I guess maybe. OK, so let's break this down real quick. I agree with the question that Mike brought up. How does Otani's interpreter have access to his bank account? And Otani doesn't know about it. That is a whole separate issue than gambling. Yeah. Because he could have had access to his bank account and just been stealing money, period, which is what he was doing.

Hockey Jesus: I'm sure that's what MLB wants to know.

Technical Director: Right. And that's what they're going to try to find out. The other side of it, gambling, what they want to find out is if Otani knew that he, cause right now it's, it's duck and cover. My interpreter was gambling with my money and I didn't know about it. And gambling debts with an offshore gambling site and blah, blah, blah. I heard this on the Jody Mac show. I love Jody Mac on CBS radio. Love Jody Mac. Baseball's rule does not prohibit you from gambling. What it prohibits you from doing is- Here we go.

Hockey Jesus: You're going to really upset the Pete Rose people by saying that.

Technical Director: Hold on. No, no, no. It prohibits you from gambling on baseball only. And you can gamble, but you have to gamble on anything else you want at a licensed, registered either casino or bookmaker that CD says, I didn't know Pete Rose was an interpreter at a licensed, registered gambling institution in the United States.

Hockey Jesus: See, that sounds way too complicated. Either he was doing it or he wasn't. Right. So here's the thing.

Technical Director: I, I think that this is going to come up more and it is coming up more and more and more because now all of the major sports are in bed with the gambling enterprise. The legal, the legal gambling enterprises is legal as far as we know. I mean, hell, even ESPN has their own sports book. Absolutely.

Hockey Jesus: Everybody's going to be gambling.

Technical Director: We need to start, we need to start the porch book.

Hockey Jesus: No, I don't want to have anything to do with you. You can set the odds. How about if you do that?

Technical Director: No, no, we won't be doing the gambling.

Hockey Jesus: These guys will be doing the now. I just I just think gambling is. the house always wins. That's gambling. That's why that's why. And I, I understand the appeal for that. Right. People get addicted to it and they don't know they're even addicted to it. They think they're just watching and that's a problem. Yeah. And, and I think it's going to get worse because 20 something is now they're all betting. There's a reason why the, there's a reason why the NCAA was the most watched this year. It's because of the gambling. I know. And that's a problem. And that's, I want, I want to steer absolutely clear from that. And anybody who is out there betting, just be careful because it is really dangerous.

Technical Director: I agree with you. And, and I do not gamble at all.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. I, I have, I think I would have an addictive nature with that. So once, once I would start to do it, it would be like, yeah, I'm only doing like a dollar here and a dollar there. That's how it starts. Yeah. But I think like somebody like Mark who does it kind of on the fly, he's betting nickels and dimes, like whatever. That's fine. To me, that's fine. If you just want to do that for the fun of it because you want to be a little bit more invested in the game, that's fine. But once you start tens, twenties, and then you start getting in the hundreds of dollars, you've got a real problem.

Technical Director: I agree. And we bring up the Grand Schwabini because he has fun with a couple dollars here and there, but he is also the kind of guy who he understands moderation. He's got himself under control. Hell, we didn't even know that he threw a couple bucks on games. he's been doing it for a while until he just happened to mention it a few weeks back. But he's he's he's in his 50s. He's it doesn't mean it can't happen to anybody because it can for sure. But what they're really going after is they're going after the college kids because you start to make it normal.

Hockey Jesus: They just want to make it normal for them. Like, of course, you're going to the game. So you have to bet something.

Technical Director: Yeah. Right. I know. I know. So we don't want to slam it.

Hockey Jesus: You'd be down $2,200, right? Yeah. What do you say?

Technical Director: I bet on what? The three Rye guys. Oh, that's funny. Jesus preach that engineering math. Um, so, okay. Back to the, back to the, yeah. So Otani, uh, we'll find out, but this is going to be a problem.

Hockey Jesus: They'll, they'll, they'll get to the bottom of this. They'll make a ruling. It'll probably be like, yeah, that, that guy can't be his interpreter anymore. And he'll get another guy.

Technical Director: And to answer Mike's question, you know, and, and I know it was rhetorical, how does Otani not know what was going on? Well, you would think he would, number one.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, really 4 million for Otani. That can't, that's like, that's probably like maybe $1,500 for you and me.

Technical Director: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe even less.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. Would you, would you notice it missing? Probably not. Well, the thing about a guy like Otani is you're like, wow, what are that $1,500?

Technical Director: He has a PR person. He has an agent. He has a, uh, um, uh, you know, an entourage that manages his, his social media, his life, his real estate. I mean, hell, Russell Wilson had a guy come into Pittsburgh to look for a house for him and his wife cause he didn't have time to do it. Yeah. So could he not know it's gone? Sure. Who's to say that his interpreter wasn't also his, you know, quasi accountant guy taking care of his money. Right now. Do I believe that Otan, you know, I, I, I don't know him and I, I didn't watch him that much last year, but he didn't strike me as the kind of guy that gambles. He strikes me as the kind of guy who's like got a one track mind. Like I'm going to hit as many home runs and, and throw as many strikes as I can.

Hockey Jesus: And then I got injured and now, you know, not to draw a parallel, but I knew a guy at work like that who I didn't think would do some bad things and he did. Right. I'm just saying like these things happen and they happen with people who you don't know. Like why did Pete Rose bet on baseball? He didn't need to bet on baseball, but he did. He did. Yeah. And it's a shame. He admitted to it. Yeah. At least he admitted to it. But now he's paying the price for the rest of his life.

Technical Director: Does he belong in the Hall of Fame? Yes, he does. Did he break the one rule that you're not allowed to break? Yes, he did. That they made very, very clear? Yes, he did. Yep. Yes, he did. DG, I agree wholeheartedly with your gambling rant. I did put my $2 in for tonight's Powerball. Oh, I got a Powerball ticket, too. Let's go. And $2 for Mega Millions, of course. What is it, $1.5 billion? Yeah, it's I mean, it's something I mean, come on, can we can we please make it a little more? I mean, it's almost not worth it. You know, I mean, $2 for mega millions. Of course, if I win, I'm putting you all on the payroll DG. Keep it for yourself, man. Just fly up to Pittsburgh and take us out to dinner somewhere.

Hockey Jesus: Altavia. There you go, Altavia.

Technical Director: And buy Steve some pretzel nuggets because he loves them so much. That would be great. Okay, I want to finish this quick Pirates thing. The infielders, Rowdy Tellez, Jared Triolo. O'Neal Cruz, Cabrian Hayes, and Alika Williams. I love Cruz. I hope he plays well this year. I did hear a rumor that he might be batting leadoff. We're going to have issues this year, guys. We're going to have issues with this lineup again. I know Cruz is fast, but he is not a leadoff hitter. He is a No. 3 hitter. He's the guy you want coming up. when you got men on base, okay? Because he can turn a triple into an inside the park. He can turn a double into a triple and he can crush the frigging ball.

Hockey Jesus: Give them a few games and see what happens.

Technical Director: Right. Triolo, look, I sung his praises last year. The only problem that Triolo has is that when he makes contact, he doesn't hit the ball very far. I hope he worked on his swing. If he can add a little power between him and Hayes in the infield, I actually think Triolo is a better fielder than Brian Hayes. Now, people are going to argue with me about that, and I get it, but I'm not saying better by a lot. But if you have Triolo at second or, um, or Triolo, even at first, which they're talking about, maybe he ends up there and he can add a little pop to his back. That's not going to happen at the beginning of the season. Okay, good. Uh, I hate rowdy to lesbian in there. I think that that was just a terrible signing, but you know what? Maybe he'll crush a few balls, drink a few beers, crush a few cans on his head. That's celebration right there. Of course, they have the outfield McCutcheon, who will play very sparingly in the in the field and obviously be the D.H. We got Reynolds, Swinsky, Taylor, Connor, Joe and Edward Oliveras with the catchers being Henry Davis and Jason Delay. I love that. Please let Hank Davis play catcher.

Hockey Jesus: He's going to have to. He's the only guy.

Technical Director: I think he'll do just fine there. I think I like his determination. I think Jason Delay is a fantastic backup catcher. He's got a good bat. Um, so when she, so when ski, this is your year, um, work on not striking out as much. Look, the guy hit 20 plus home runs last year, did not play the whole season. He was platooned all the time. He got struck out a billion times. I mean, if this guy can just get his eye down and learn how to hit a curve ball, he's going to hit 40 home runs.

Hockey Jesus: Well, let's not go overboard. Listen, the season is learning right now.

Technical Director: We are right now. We are. Oh, and oh, OK. And first place. And we are right now. We are in first box.

Hockey Jesus: That's right.

Technical Director: So as far as I'm concerned, you know, we're going to be positive going into the box until we absolutely have to be negative. So we will always be negative on nothing, though. That's right. Well, not really negative on nothing, but negative on Bob. Yes, it is. Negative on nutting. CD says, Clyde, you're making me hear words, not wah, wah, wah. Nice work. Your passion for mediocrity is inspiring. We've got a lot of that here on the porch. God bless you, Dr. DeFlitch.

Hockey Jesus: Thanks for that high ankle sprain stuff.

Technical Director: Yeah, that's right. Anytime you need… David, maybe you need to put the doctor on the payroll. Quack diagnosis. All right. Thanks for watching the Sports Porch all over the world on Facebook, LinkedIn, X and YouTube. And of course, we're going to drop the podcast in a couple of minutes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify. or anywhere you get your friggin podcasts.

Hockey Jesus: And don't forget about the Hockey Jesus. I'll be on tomorrow night.

Technical Director: That's right. Hockey Jesus on the podcast after every game. I am your technical director and I am out. And I finished the music too early. Have a great week, guys.