The Sports Porch Black And Gold - Skenes is MONEY!

Chris:
All right. Yeah, somebody is not muted, and that was Schwaber. There we go. I gotcha. I gotcha. I gotcha. So let's start again. All right, here we are in the sports porch, black and gold. Thanks for being here, guys. We are live all over the world. I was going to say all over the YouTube. We're live all over the YouTube.

Marc: Yeah, YouTube is all over the world.

Chris: Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube X. And, of course, we're going to drop this podcast right after the show, right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcast. So thanks for being here, guys. We got a ton of stuff to talk about. We got a huge, huge show to do for you. It's going to be huge. It's huge. Can you do that, Trevor? Can you do a Trump accent? Huge.

Marc: No, I can't. And why do you keep saying the word huge? It's got me concerned. I don't know.

Chris: Well, I'm not looking at you, that's for sure. Anyway, it was that photo of Elias who is huge.

Marc: Yes, that must have been it. You're talking about a photo of a male. Yeah, that's right.

Chris: Of course, of course. And one last thing that I forget all the time, you can always listen to us live on our sister radio station, Radio PGH. I dropped that link in the comments on all the platforms. Mark that link, listen to Radio PGH any chance you get. We do off the grid marathons on Fridays and Sundays, season one and two. Season three is coming soon as a marathon. And Mark and I will be recording the next season of Off the Grid Uncommon Grounds next weekend. There you go. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. But let's talk about what people really want to talk about right now. Yeah. Stellars. And no,

Steve: It's the Buccos report. We're going to go there first.

Marc: We're going to go to the Buccos report. There actually is a legitimate reason to talk about the pirates this week.

Chris: Absolutely there is. Paul Skeens, Jared Jones, Mitch Keller. No, no, no, no.

Marc: Paul Skeens. Well, I know. You stop there.

Steve: I know. I get it. I get it. I always want to say schemes. I always want to put an M for the end. Is he scheming, Paul Scheming? No, he's not.

Marc: He needs to work on his acne, he needs proactive.

Chris: Right, but will the pirates nut up and get us some hitting?

Steve: No, there, that was easy. And let's move on to the Steelers.

Chris: Yeah, no, not at all. Have you seen a more filthy delivery of a fastball than Paul Skeens in your life? Let's answer that question first. Forget about forget about the know.

Steve: Yeah Yeah, who know Nolan Ryan when he came out man. He was a fireball.

Chris: No way He was all over the map his first couple years.

Steve: He was so wild the Mets the Mets I'm talking about when he was in his home.

Marc: I'm sensing another Hall of Fame I haven't gotten there yet Randy Johnson. He was pretty good good. He was good, but not as good. It's not his.

Chris: Roger Clemens was steroids. I'm using your I'm using your I know.

Marc: I know. I know a guy who struck out 20 like in his second start and his name was Carrie Wood. Right. Right.

Steve: You know, he's better than Carrie Wood.

Chris: That wasn't my question. That got hurt. That wasn't my question. My question was, have you seen a more filthy pitch?

Steve: Yeah. I just told you who. Yeah, I mean, after watching three or four pictures, I mean, they're all Hall of Fame. Yeah, right, right, right, right. After watching, after watching the.

Chris: Hey, Lauren. Yes, we've just been delivered the Trader Joe's product of the week, but we'll get to that in a little bit.

Steve: Thank you. Now we have to wait.

Marc: There she is over that. Keep it warm.

Chris: OK, so what I'm the question I'm getting at is, but I mean, a Pittsburgh, I mean, come on.

Marc: No, it's a it's a huge as you like to use the word overreaction. You think so? Yeah, it was an amazing start. Congrats to him.

Steve: Well, it was an amazing second.

Marc: Yeah. Yeah. Struck out the first seven batters. One walk, 11 K's, six innings of no hit ball. Phenomenal work. But, you know, come on now, let's not call his delivery the best of all time.

Chris: Well, I come on now. I didn't say it was the best of all time. Come on. I was asking you if you have come on now, if you have seen a filthier pitch.

Steve: I haven't seen a filthier pitch from a Pittsburgh Pirate in his second start.

Chris: OK.

Steve: Yes.

Chris: I'm just never going. I'm not going to get anywhere with you guys, am I? I'm really not.

Steve: I mean, well, I mean, he is very good. He's very good. Yeah. And this is something worth getting excited over. Yeah. And it's probably worth taking off Thursday afternoon, going down the PNC and watching him pitch live.

Chris: Yeah, probably.

Marc: Probably.

Chris: I have to start. Yeah. See, I mean, from the guy who gave up baseball like he knows their schedule by heart now.

Steve: Well, everybody knows when schemes is going to be starting now, from now till the end of the year. Cause it's must watch TV. I bet you there's a website that will say predicting schemes next start. So you can start buying the tickets now.

Chris: Yeah, right. I, I have to tell you that. I have to tell you that I, when I watched the clips of those seven, now you also have to remember in his first game, he did strike out six and he looked pretty damn good there too.

Marc: I'm going to send you random highlights of major league pitchers striking out 10 batters in a game and see if you think it's the best delivery you've ever seen. Go right ahead.

Chris: Go right ahead. No, I think that, I think his fastball, the movement on that at the end of the pitch is some of the filthiest movement I've seen on a pitch in a long, we'll just say in a long time, in a long time. My question is, when it comes to that, because you guys have already answered my first question, is can he keep that up? Because his delivery to me looks a little short. And it looks to me like he throws more with his arm and his shoulder than extends with his legs. Now, I could be off. I'm not a pitching coach, but I understand how you did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I did, but I, you're killing me Schwab. You're killing me. He gets, he warms up in the Philly show and then just brings it. I love it. Yeah. So, so I, I, that does concern me. I mean, what do you guys think about that in all seriousness? Did you notice that? Cause that, that stuck out to me right away. I was like, Oh, his delivery is a little short. Maybe it was nerves still. But you can't throw 100 miles an hour. What did he have, like seven pitches 100 miles an hour in the first inning alone?

Marc: Something like that. I thought it was more impressive that his 100th pitch was over 100 miles per hour.

Chris: Yeah. But my point is, did you notice that in his delivery? Because I noticed it. I thought that looks like arm trouble down the road.

Marc: Honestly, I haven't looked at his delivery much at all. I just know that he throws 100. And it's hard to hit. And that's good. That's excellent. That's good.

Steve: I just think there are some pitchers who have such strength in their arm. Their whole body is compensated at this point in their life. The question is, when they go back to the five-man rotation, or whatever that is.

Chris: They're there now.

Steve: So can he sustain that over a season? Yeah. And we won't know that until September. And by that time, the pirates will probably be out of it and they'll probably just shut him down. So we probably won't even know until next year.

Marc: I think the chances are pretty good, though, because he threw a lot in college. Yeah. And there were some, you know, there were actually people, I think, at the end of the LSU season last year that thought that it was like criminal to pitch him as much as they did because they thought it wasn't fair for his career. But I kind of look at it and I say he pitched those innings and he pitched them darn well and still pitching darn well. You know, why can't he be one of those old school guys? We don't know that until we know that.

Chris: I think anybody could be one of those old school guys. I think we don't know who those guys are because they just don't treat pitchers that way anymore.

Steve: Right. No, I mean he had a no-hitter and they took him out. Yeah. So that's just going to be the way it goes. That's the way it is now.

Chris: Yeah. How do you feel about that? His second start, he's he's pretty much cruising through six innings. Well, it was 100 pitches. I get it. I totally get it. I'm just saying, how do you feel about that? Would you have left them in just just for the sake of, look, you got a no hitter. I mean, to me, no hitters used to mean everything in baseball. Now it's kind of like they don't really mean anything here.

Steve: Here's why I would have kept them in. they were up like nine, nothing. So yeah. So what does it hurt to keep him in other than he might end up throwing 130 pitches. But if he gets a, if he gets a no hitter, then everybody in major league baseball takes notice. Right. They're taking notice anyways, but it becomes the highlight of the first half of the season. Right. And the pilots are there. Like, wouldn't you rather have that than say, Oh, well we saved him from 30 pitches. Yeah. And you know what, if he, if he got hit in the first, on the first batter in, you know, he's out.

Marc: Yeah.

Steve: Just take them out. No big deal. Yeah. And then you'd be like, good job. One hitter. You're going to get your first major league baseball win. Congratulations.

Marc: Yeah.

Steve: I mean, that's what that's the way I would have treated it. But the Pirates don't think like that. The Pirates think about they're always thinking about the future. They're never thinking that the future is here. Right. So just like now that they have an actually actually have a major league baseball starting rotation, they won't think about going out and getting a hitter. They'll think about who they can bring up from the minor leagues. Who's better than Rowdy Tellez? Yeah, I know. And it's garbage. It's got to be somebody better than reality to laugh. They should be thinking about who they can go out and buy for 15 or 20 million to replace the designated hitter and the first baseman. Yeah. But they don't think like that. And they'll never think like that, which is why I think we should move on from the pirates.

Chris: Yeah. Brian Reynolds is batting a blistering 254 or 48 games into the season or whatever they are. Connor Joe is leading the club at 280. You know, his OPS is 826, which is not bad. So he's having a career year. This is Connor Joe having a career year. Yep. You know, they recently brought Nick Gonzalez back and, you know, he's doing OK. 265. O'Neal Cruz is kind of he's cooled off as of late. 62 strikeouts. You know, Brian Hayes is still out. What a disappointment. I mean, we can go right down the list. Cut just batting to 16, you know, and that's been high for him. Yeah, I know. I know. It's like he's on a tear. And here we are, poor Jackson Winski with, you know, now only 38 strikeouts for him is a positive. But, you know, his OPS is 562.

Marc: Can you really say anything is a positive when you're hitting 173? No, you actually can't. No, there are no positives.

Chris: Yeah, I'm just kind of, I'm going on a micro level. I mean, I'm just trying to help him. That's like saying, like, he had a couple good hacks the other day. Right, exactly. You know, this is this is what is all over the news is how fantastic the Pirates rotation looks right now between Skeen's Jones and Keller filling that number three role. Exactly what we talked about last year. Mitch Keller is a very good number three starter.

Steve: He's right where he should be.

Chris: Yeah, and and so, you know kudos you figured something out Okay, and now you figured out that Paul Skeens so far is as advertised and Jared Jones Learned how to pitch at the major league level and he's got the same attitude Skeen says I did love the interview with Skeens where the reporter said to him I You know, you've gotten off to a great start. It's been really, really hyped. It's really fantastic. But, you know, how do you feel about the fact that, you know, as the weeks progress and your starts, you get more starts that the major league, you know, major league hitters are going to kind of come around and start to adjust to you and make adjustments? His answer was, well, you know, I mean, they can adjust if they want. Good luck. That's exactly what he said. Yeah, absolutely. So the attitude is there. This is all great. And everybody's getting excited about now. But I refer back to my rant last week. And I agree 100% with Steve on this. And I know you feel the same way. They aren't going to do jack shit. What they've realized is what they've always wanted, which is we got a guy who's going to draw people to the ballpark every fifth night. And Jared Jones is drawing people to the ballpark now every fifth night. It's money. And, oh, you know what? This lineup, it's not going to be horrible all year. It is. I don't know. I think it might be. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know as far as there as far as at 22 and 26 I kept hearing today all day long two games out of the wild card two games out of the wild card Well, look if the wild card round was starting next week and we had three games left i'd say There's a decent shot. We could win three in a row and somebody could lose two and we'll hop them but jesus we we got a hundred and

Marc: 20 games left. There's always teams that just take off in the second half to or take off in June or July and all of a sudden by the end of the year they got 90 wins. I know. I know.

Chris: I mean with this lineup it's actually it could end up being a big shame because you know Skeens is going to pitch his heart out. And he's probably going to lose a bunch of three to two and two to one ball games where he pitched for six innings and struck out eight guys, maybe gave up a home run because if somebody squares up on one of his pitches, it's going to go a long way. Probably. But other than that, I mean, what are you getting out of this? I mean, seriously.

Steve: Well, here's the thing. The Pittsburgh Pirates could double their salary and guess where they would be ranked in Major League Baseball. Right in the middle of the pack, last or second to last? Fourteenth in the league if they doubled their salary. Yeah. So if they went out and spent $85 million on hitters this year, they would still be middle of the pack. And guess what? They probably have a pretty good chance of making the playoffs in this crappy division. But they'll never do that. And that's what's so crazy about this franchise. They have it right in front of them right now. They've got these three pitchers signed for the next two or three years, and they're going to friggin ruin it. They're going to absolutely run them into the ground, and they're going to say, well, you know, Swinsky's going to get better, you know, this, that, and the other thing. They're dumb. They're dumb. And that's why I just have no faith with them. But we should enjoy schemes.

Marc: We should enjoy schemes. Yes. It might be a good time to transition to the Grand Squalbini. All right. Mark's tired of talking about the pirates. No, no. It's because it's a pirate's prediction.

Chris: All right. So let's do it. Let's transition right now to… The Grand Schwalbini predicts.

Marc: The Grand Schwalbini is going to predict. Now that the roster is basically set with the big boy in the lineup, or on the pitching mound, the Grand Schwalbini will predict the final record for your Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh! The final record is… 76 and 86, the exact same record as last year. Better pitching, worse hitting. It all evens out. The Grand Schwabini knows. And the Grand Schwabini says, I'm sorry.

Chris: What do you think about that?

Steve: I think he's right on. I think that maybe it might be I know. I think I think that's spot on because here's the reality. They're going to end up shutting down schemes and and and they're not going to be in it towards the end of the season. They're just not going to have the bats. And then what they're going to do is they're going to probably get rid of Bednar. Right. And and then they're not going to have a closer. So things are going to just fall apart from there.

Chris: Right. Okay. So, so we're, we are predicting them. Well, we're not predicting an absolute collapse because 76 and 86, I mean, you're 10 games under 500.

Steve: When you have three good pitchers in your staff, you're not going to collapse. Right. And now if somebody gets injured or something like that, Yeah, we could we could still see the the typical pirates class. By the way, Marcy texted me yesterday. She was in Philadelphia. And she said she was at the Pirates game for Mother's Day. Yeah, she said she was having a great time. And then she heard your rant. And then everything went

Chris: Really? What did she do? Was she listening to the show?

Steve: Uh, I think maybe before the game, I think maybe after the game, she was like, Oh, I'm going to see what the sports porch guys. Then she heard your rant. She was interested. Like she was pretty happy. Like the pirates are like, Oh yeah, they won or something. They had a good game. She saw a good game and it was mother's day.

Chris: And she thought, I'm going to get on there and I'm going to, I'm going to be a true fan.

Steve: Boys are excited. And she heard you like if it was coming from me, it would come as no surprise, but because it came from you, I think she was a little bit disheartened.

Chris: Well, I have, I hold a lot of weight in many different ways.

Marc: Yep. All right. What do you keep in mind? We do have one line open for one, two, five, seven, two, three, six. We'd love for you to call into the show.

Chris: Okay. The grand Schwabini just made his prediction. The pirates record at the end of the year will be the same as last year, 76 and 86. That's a good one. Let's try to hold on to that one. It'll be, is it written down there on that piece of paper? If you don't throw it out. Catch the, I won't, I'm leaving it right there. Catch the Sports Porch Podcast. We drop it right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And of course you can subscribe on YouTube. The YouTube handle is at the Sports Porch Podcast. So, you know, a lot of stuff has been thrown around about this next subject, the Steelers schedule, the good, the bad, the ugly. We've had a week or so to kind of digest it. I've heard it analyzed. Here we go. Front, back, forwards. Here we go. Down, you know. Here we go. Pittsburgh. Here we go. Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl. Here we go. Pretty good game. Yeah. I'm expecting the yinzer to come in like, call up Donnie, take him to the bar.

Marc: I'll tell you what, you know, here's the thing. I've heard a lot of people Saying that it's like the hardest schedule in the league or something it seems to be I don't know like you know Here's the thing every year games seem hard, and then they turn out to be easy It's like you know you play the Jets with Aaron Rodgers. It's hard you play the Jets without Aaron Rodgers It's easy. You know I mean, there's there's all kinds of scenarios like that You know you some team that was good last year and in the playoffs and has a bad year, and they're 4-12, and all of a sudden, that's not a hard game. I'd say that the accuracy of how hard a schedule is is maybe like 70%.

Steve: OK, well, I mean, that's high, actually. Maybe even less because I mean, then you throw in injuries to a team, you know, and the reality is everybody in the Steelers division are all playing the same hard teams. The team that that's true. I think the only team that benefits from this schedule is Cincinnati since because they ended up last. They're garbage. They play against the tough teams, but the tough teams, they get to play at home. So I think that they have a slight advantage. By the way, I don't think Cincinnati's going to do anything again this year. I think they're imploding from within because of It's always, it's good. Because look at their wide receivers. I mean, they're wide receivers. I mean, they still got the big guy, but I mean all their other receivers now you can double team chase and not have to worry about anybody. Is Boyd not there? They can't afford to re-sign anybody.

Marc: I do really like Joe Barrow, but at the same time, you have to say he's an entry-prone quarterback at this point.

Steve: much in two of his four seasons or whatever it is, you know, so, so I, but I still think they, they're the recipient of the, the way the schedule's done. Look, the teams that the Steelers play at the end of the year, like the three teams they play, um, in like whatever, 10 or 11 days, they're probably going to lose those three games anyways, because there was Kansas city, uh, Philadelphia. And I think it kicks off with the Ravens in Baltimore. Yeah. So, I mean, the reality is if you're going to play those three teams, why not play them back to back to back and just see what happens. And you know what? One of those is a Christmas game, so you don't know what's going to happen. I mean, Taylor Swift might be there with some outfit on, so that might be fun. But other- Is that in Pittsburgh?

Marc: Yeah, it is. No, it's here.

Chris: That could be a good porch show. Of course it is Christmas day.

Steve: I mean, that doesn't matter to you. Not really. My kids are old enough. We're not going to be talking about, you know, the other guy.

Marc: There you go.

Steve: Not Jesus, but the other guy with the beard. Not the baby Jesus.

Chris: Yeah, Santa. You talk like little kids are listening. Well, they might be.

Steve: This is not a kid-friendly show. Dude, you don't want to ruin Christmas for them. No, I would like to ruin Christmas for all of them. Well, just keep it for your own.

Chris: I've had enough of Christmas. I took great joy in ruining Christmas for my children.

Steve: Well, congratulations. Here's the bottom line on this. He's a mean one. No, stop saying that. Okay, sorry. The bottom line on the schedule is this. The Steelers have to go at least 6-2 in their first eight games. If they don't go 6-2 in their first eight games, they honestly are risking going 9-8.

Chris: worse. Okay. So most of the scuttlebutt around this is that, you know, all of the yinzers out there are saying, you know, the store's got, the store's got screwed by the NFL. Like, well, here's the thing though. Here's the thing. I heard enough of that. that I thought to myself, well, could there be something to this? And then I heard… A conspiracy theory. Well, no, this is not a conspiracy theory. I mean, you guys are going to, you take everything I say.

Marc: Are there aliens involved in this theory?

Chris: There might be. There might be. I mean, Amazon is involved and Jeff Bezos does own a space company. Well, now Netflix is involved. And Netflix is involved. Okay.

Marc: Right. Give us your conspiracy theory.

Chris: So let's, let's talk about this. Now, what I heard was an interview somewhere with an NFL insider who understands how they do the schedule. They use AWS, who said that the schedule, it comes out, and then it goes through the commissioner's office and on his desk, and he is able to change things around and say, well, why don't we do this and move this to here? He has the final say. So is it possible? that he, because if I'm looking at it from a purely fair standpoint, and one of the things we have to remember with the schedules and how they have the toughest schedule, well, that's based on last year. And that's something you said earlier, which is, who knows? I mean, one of these teams out of the gate could just end up being bad, right? You know? Yeah. You know, like, well, Kansas city have another super bowl hangover. I doubt it, but it could happen, you know, by the time we play them, maybe they're at 500 and four moms is injured or whatever.

Marc: Right.

Steve: But is or the game doesn't matter to them.

Chris: If you're right. If you're the commissioner and you look at that you know that three games in 10 days against those opponents on the road Christmas Day are you saying Yeah, let's just leave it like that. You know, it's not like it's not like he rubber stamps it. He looks at it and analyzes.

Marc: I don't know if he analyzes it to that extent. He's paid 20 million dollars a year. I think you don't think he analyzes it. I think now. No, I think more what he's doing is he's look he's looking at what are the primetime games. Yeah. Yeah.

Steve: And that's why you see a lot of TBD in the last four to six weeks because they're like, okay, now Saturday opens up because they can play Saturday games. And they basically are playing, I think the Steelers play every day of the week except for like Tuesday and Wednesday. They play Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So it's like, There's no way the commissioner can analyze those games and do that, but he can say, OK, this game, I want to say TBD because this could mean something at the end of the year. And we don't want to lock that into that time frame in case, you know, Jeff Bezos wants to put it on Amazon or if whoever owns Netflix wants to put it on Netflix, read, read Hastings. Yeah, right. If Reed wants to do it, then then. You know, maybe they get into a bidding war and then, you know, maybe somebody else comes in and says, no, I'll do that because now I got it.

Marc: I mean, he could have done something like this. He could have said like, OK, so you've got Kansas City at the Broncos chief rivals on Christmas. And he was like, Hey man, Denver doesn't even have a quarterback. Let's do it with, how about Pittsburgh? Because everybody likes watching the Steelers. And they'll probably be in the thick of it. You know what I mean? So what I'm hearing here is that that's, well, that's the kind of moves I think he would make.

Chris: What I'm hearing here is that they basically that, that Roger Goodell, all he has is a little stamp that says TBD on it and they wheel him out and he just goes, this game, this game, this game, this game, this game, this game. Yeah. I don't know. I think there's more behind it. I mean, I know there's three other teams that do something similar to the Steelers. I think the Titans are one and somebody else. They have that that gauntlet, you know, but but the schedule is not as tough, you know, based on last year. Uh, you know, but that being said, you know, the good, the bad and the ugly, it's funny because Paul's ice, you know, on the fan, I did like what he said. And he said, Hey, look, it's the schedule. They got to play the games anyway, whether they're playing them up front or they're playing all the division game. That's the other thing. Most of the division games are after November 17th.

Steve: Yeah. That's a little bizarre, but I mean, they're all doing the same thing.

Chris: Yeah. Well, and it's also like, you know, I can understand that reasoning, you know, you want to make those games mean something later on, you know, like you may get off to a bad start, but if you can, but if your division is kind of treading water, those games are going to mean something because whoever ends up at the top of the division and the Steelers went five and one in the division last year. Right. So, you know, that I think plays into the Steelers. That's an advantage for them because they own this division right now.

Steve: You know, and the Browns are going to suck this year. I think you're right. And the Bengals are going to suck this year. I actually think you're right about that. And I don't think, I don't think the Ravens are going to be as good as they got Derek Henry.

Chris: I'm sorry. I think they're going to be. How old is Derek Henry now? I don't care.

Steve: I'm just telling you like old running backs get hurt.

Chris: We can have this debate. We can have this debate later when we get closer to the season. And we will. And now that we have the schedule, yes, we will have our, our, you know, NFL spectacular.

Steve: By the way, I'm not predicting that the Steelers are still going to win the division.

Chris: Yeah. I mean, we don't even know a hundred percent for sure who's going to start at quarterback.

Steve: You know, you know who else gets hurt. T.J. Watt. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

Chris: Well, look, Russell Wilson gets hurt.

Steve: Yeah. Every NFL player gets hurt. And they only really have one wide receiver right now. Every NFL player gets hurt. Unless you think Quez Watkins is going to be your number two.

Chris: He doesn't do it, guys. Nope. Sorry, he doesn't. Neither does Van Jefferson. Right.

Steve: I mean, so there are holes to fill.

Chris: Yeah, there is a dearth at wide receiver there. They, they, they, they need a, they, and, and I'm not convinced that George Pickens could be a number one yet.

Steve: I'm just, I'm just not. Oh, I'm not either. Yeah, I completely agree with you there.

Marc: But no, actually he dropped 10 pounds, so there's that. I think, I think we all agree he's got the talent to be a number one receiver, don't you? Yeah. Yeah.

Steve: I mean, I think, I think it's helpful that he has a former Super Bowl winning quarterback throwing him. That makes a difference. Yeah. So maybe, maybe if he can get it close. George can go up and grab it with one hand and, you know, do his toad thing. Yeah.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. So catch the sports sports podcast right after the show. We drop it on the IR radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. I think there's somebody in the house and I think he is holy. We have Hockey Jesus here. You can follow Hockey Jesus on YouTube at the Sports Porch Podcast. He is currently in the middle of the Stanley Cup playoffs, and Hockey Jesus preaches after every round. you know, during the playoffs, but during the regular season, he preaches on the podcast after every single Penguins game, which is quite a feat that actually puts him up. I think you're a member of the team now, like you're actually a member of the Penguins.

Steve: I definitely am. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris: And I'm glad to contact them and get a media.

Steve: Well, I'm glad they didn't fire me. You can make that happen. I fired everybody else in the front office, you know, about four weeks ago. Well, they didn't fire you. No, so I'm still part of the team.

Marc: Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her King.

Chris: You've been brushing up, Schwaber.

Marc: Let every heart prepare Him room. Okay, let's prepare for Hockey Jesus. Here comes the Hockey Jesus. I had the lyrics up.

Chris: All right, so here's what we want, Hockey Jesus. We want a condensed version of, because you did a Hockey, what we want to do is tell everybody that Hockey Jesus, if you want the full version, he did one yesterday on YouTube. You can go there. It's about, what, 17 minutes long, I think?

Steve: That's about right.

Chris: Yeah, and covers the entire round two of the playoffs. It's always a very, I mean, I've learned so much being a, not being a hockey fan and now, you know, the last couple of years, like I understand so much more about the game now than I did a couple of years ago. So it's, it's a good thing. Um, what'd you say? Poke check. Poke check. Yeah. First of all, I thought that was a dirty word and then I realized it was a hockey word. Yeah. What is a poke check? When you go like that, when you poke them, when you poke with your stick. That's what I thought. See, I knew that, but I did think it was a dirty word at first. Well, that's our group text.

Steve: There's lots of you're still allowed the poke check, even if you're not on the ice. But that's up to you.

Chris: Yeah, that here's what's going on.

Steve: Here's what's amazing. We're only halfway through the Stanley Cup playoffs. That is an absolute amazing thing. I mean, I know there are only like four teams left. But still there are only one half the amount of games. They have to win to win the Stanley Cup at this point and actually Vancouver's playing Edmonton tonight to finalize that four spot I think I think Edmonton's probably gonna beat Vancouver because Vancouver Unfortunately, and I didn't mention this last night because I didn't know I found out this morning that Brock Besser is not going to be playing. He's probably their best player, all around best player. Pettersson's probably their their number one talent, but he hasn't really showed up the series and without them, boy, I mean, I don't see unless now there's I don't I just can't believe the talk. It's going to have this team up. By the way, Edmonton has like five of their players in the top 10 scoring in the playoffs in the playoffs, right? Yeah. which is, which is ridiculous. And Connor, Connor McDavid only has two goals, which is ridiculous, but he's got like 19 assists.

Chris: Yeah. Well, everybody seems to want the, the, the Oilers to win this year. So, so McDavid, you know, finally gets a cup.

Steve: Yeah, but I don't think put it this way. I don't know how they get through Dallas The Dallas was my pick to win the whole Stanley Cup and they're looking really solid I mean I get what happened to Colorado Colorado had problems with Nechuskin unfortunately And his substance issues, so he's gonna be out for six months.

Marc: By the way, they're probably gonna cut him I mean, that's an issue skuskin for you. Yeah

Steve: And remember they played the whole year without Landis golf. I mean, I don't know.

Chris: Well, that's that's Landis.

Steve: I understand. Yeah Anyway, so, um, but no, I really love the way Dallas is playing now And in the East, I mean this Florida New York Rangers series is gonna be ridiculous. I know seven. I I could see it I think you know I and I mentioned this last I think it if it goes seven it's gonna be a lot of three to four three games which it won't make for great hockey but I actually think that somebody I actually think florida can come out and just. just smack the Rangers in the face. I don't think they've played a team like this yet, and I don't think they're ready for it. They rely too much on their power play. The Rangers do. If their power play gets going, they could easily beat Florida, but I just don't see that happening. Florida, to me, is a Dallas Stars light team. but with more experience. So I think it would be really interesting to see those two in the finals. That's what I'm rooting for. Um, but then again, I hate the Rangers, so I would never root for the Rangers to, to beat anybody.

Chris: If somebody paid you a million dollars to root for the Rangers, would you? I mean, it's a million freaking dollars.

Steve: I would, but I don't know how well I'd be able to root for you.

Chris: No, no, no. You're getting a million dollars. You got to go to the game. You got to put on a Rangers shirt, the most popular player. You've got to, during every break where they play the music, you got to, you got to dance. All you're doing is faking it. Yeah. You got to dance to the music though, at the breaks, you know, like that guy who's like, runs down the steps. Money, money.

Marc: Every arena's got a guy who runs down the steps like an idiot now. He's a plant.

Chris: How much money would it take for you to be that guy at the garden during a regular season Rangers game?

Steve: I honestly don't think I could do it like wholeheartedly.

Chris: This guy has no interest in money at all.

Steve: I don't think I could do it. You don't know. I don't.

Chris: If you were like, as soon as I walk out of here, I'm getting a suitcase with a million dollars tax free and I can go immediately to the casinos and the clubs and just, and just make it rain.

Steve: I honestly don't think I could do it.

Chris: Are you serious? I could do it. I would make it rain like a motherfucker.

Steve: I would try, but I think it would be like if they put the fake detector on you, it would be like fake.

Marc: Yeah, but that's the thing. It's like you're kind of like the silent voodoo doll. Yeah, what you know? Yeah, you're basically trying to screw it up for them. Yeah, as you're rooting for the silent voodoo.

Steve: No, no, that's great. I love it. If you're a real fan, people can see through that.

Chris: Did you just come up with that? I just came up with this.

Steve: You're the silent voodoo.

Marc: What are you the silent voodoo doll for?

Steve: Yeah. The Rangers.

Marc: That's fantastic compared. Oh, yeah.

Steve: So that's what's going on. Yeah.

Chris: What does a loud voodoo doll do? Yeah. All right. All right. Listen, we can, we can, we can catch, uh, you can catch the most recent analysis of hockey Jesus, uh, on YouTube at the sports sports podcast. I encourage you, uh, subscribe, uh, follow, share, uh, comment. And, uh, the next one will be H J.

Steve: I don't know because the reality is the first game, I think it's Wednesday. That's what I was just about to look up. The game is Wednesday, so I might drop one tomorrow just because the Oilers will probably be in, and I didn't really give them a lot of verbiage yesterday, so I think I need to look at that Western Conference a little bit tighter. After that, they play every night. OK, but if I don't drop it, then I promise Sunday night because Sunday there's an afternoon game at three o'clock. No, I can't Sunday night.

Chris: All right, well, you can work out your schedule when we're not on the air.

Steve: I'll be planting corn. All right.

Chris: I'm not touching that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he can't come to our little soiree.

Steve: Yeah.

Chris: Yeah. He's planting corn because he's going to start making whiskey. Oh, I mean, that ought to help.

Steve: I'm going to turn water in the whiskey. Yeah. No, you're not. You're not making it like a good savior.

Chris: Hockey Jesus doesn't turn water into wine, he turns water into whiskey. Hockey Jesus preaches on the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcast. Okay, now it's time to stump the yinzer. The way we stump the yinzer, our resident yinzer is in the room with me right now. It is Hockey Jesus, our resident yinzer. let me get out the now put the google away put it away now here's how we stop the ends are because i messed it up the first time last week after did so we're gonna ask uh… yinzer hockey jesus a question uh… sports related pittsburgh question if you can't If he can't answer the question or gets it wrong, then our resident, um, the Grand Schwabini is going to try and answer it. And if you successfully answer, what happens? We haven't determined that. He becomes the, he becomes the answer. Don't, don't ruin. Yes. Then you become a Yinzer, which is, it's a lifelong dream of yours. I know. Sure. Well, I mean, you moved here, you moved, you lived in Philly, you moved to Chicago. Then you, then you moved to Pittsburgh. To me, that screams, I want to be a Yinzer. Cause nobody goes in that direction. They go in the other direction. And you married a Yinzer. I sure did. You did. You did. And she's a sweetheart and I'm, and I'm not gonna. Don't make fun of her voice again. I'm not going to do that. I don't have to. I don't have to pull out my mom. I think you married your mom. Anyway, when the Steelers won their fourth Super Bowl, they broke the record of three set by which team?

Steve: Three. Yeah. At the time. Yes. Dallas Cowboys.

Chris: that would be stumped wrong.

Marc: How about Green Bay Packers?

Steve: No, it has to be San Francisco.

Chris: Nope. I'm going to put, I'm going to put the answer up here right now. Chiefs. Nope. They broke the record set. Washington Redskins. Nope. They broke the, they didn't win a Superbowl in the seventies. They broke the record that was set by the Steelers. They're the first team to win three.

Marc: How do you not know that? That was a trick question.

Steve: It was in the book. There was another team that had three and it was the Dallas Cowboys. No.

Marc: You said another team. No. You didn't say the same team.

Chris: No. No, I said I read this when the Steelers won their fourth Super Bowl, they broke the record of three set by which team? The Steelers. Okay. Okay.

Marc: You're just pissed because you can't be the answer. No, I just think it's an idiotic question.

Chris: It's a really dumb. All right. You want to do one more? I'll just pick one.

Steve: Yeah. All right. Not baseball. All right.

Chris: F said, uh, okay. The first game at three rivers stadium was in what year?

Steve: That's easy. 1970.

Chris: All right. I gave you, I tossed you a softball.

Steve: That was a softball.

Marc: Like two, two bad segments in a row. We got to really bring it next week. Yes.

Chris: Okay. Let's move on to, here it is. It's time now.

Steve: Taste the biscuit. Taste the goodness of the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce.

Steve: Taste the goodness of the biscuit with the honey sauce. Don't get that honey sauce on me.

Steve: I don't like the way it tastes with my chicken wings.

Chris: All right. All right. All right. This is the Trader Joe's. Actually, Steve coined a new phrase, Trader Joe's snack time snack. This is Trader Joe's snack time. I like it. First, I have to say the Trader Joe's does not officially sponsor the show, but I did ask for permission to do this. I work at Trader Joe's. Great place to work. Great people. Great food. This week's product of the week or snack time snack time snack time product is.

Marc: Chicken spring roll.

Steve: I've had these. Oh, you have? Oh, yeah.

Marc: You have? Okay. Basil, garlic, and ginger.

Chris: I've had. Yeah, this is when your fingers first pinch the outside wrapper of a spring roll, the texture is the tell. Soggy sides foreshadow watered-down filling. Crisp sides that crackle with your touch hold the promise of a big, balanced, boastful bite.

Steve: Just give me one of those rolls.

Marc: I have to say, I'm more an egg roll guy than a spring roll guy.

Steve: I feel the same way.

Marc: Okay. So I don't know. I feel like more of an egg roll. I feel like this is going to be subpar.

Chris: Okay. So here's what we'll do. I'll take, I'll take mine and my, my lovely wife, the Pittsburgh property diva prepared these for us. Um, so there's mine. you go ahead and take yours and then we'll have, I'm just going to get started. This is just soy sauce. This is by the way. Yeah, just, you know, it'll be okay. Schwab or you'll, you'll be all right. I don't like, right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Steve: So let's see. Let's let the people at home see what, see what we're eating here. It looks pretty big cross section there.

Chris: Hmm. This is my first time having these.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I remember what they taste like. It's been a while. Max liked to get these when we'd go to Trader Joe's.

Chris: I did not realize that. That's cool.

Steve: They do sell a lot of them.

Chris: The question is when you're done with anything, does it leave you hungry for a little more?

Steve: Do you wish you had another one right there?

Chris: Yeah. And I do.

Steve: The flavor is different than I remember. I'm tasting more ginger in this.

Chris: Uh huh. Yeah. I taste a little ginger. What do you think there, Mark?

Marc: I'd say it was okay. Yeah. I'm just not a big spring roll guy.

Steve: Yeah. It feels like you're getting cheated out with an egg roll. It's like, it's like, well, you like, yeah.

Chris: Mark, Mark likes a bigger bite. That's what he likes.

Steve: He likes to get his whole mouth around it.

Chris: Yeah, and he also liked all the fried chicken in my fridge before the show, so.

Steve: Well, yeah, so he's already mostly full.

Marc: Full, yeah. I think it's exactly what an egg roll is not. It's missing some pork and some shrimp.

Chris: Well, it's called a chicken spring roll, so.

Marc: Which is, you know, less than what I like. But I mean, it's tasty. Yeah, definitely. You know, it's the kind of thing where, you know, my wife brought it home. I would eat it. I'd be marginally satisfied. And then I would have no interest in getting it again. But if, let's say, a year or two went by, I'd be like, all right, see them again.

Steve: Imagine you're a college student and these are the only thing in your freezer or in your refrigerator. You just pop them in the oven. You get them in about 20 minutes. You don't have to prep anything. You're eating them all. You're like, this is good.

Marc: That's exactly what it is. It's sort of like a worst case scenario. There's nothing to eat. Let's see what's in the freezer.

Steve: Oh yeah, these are good. I don't feel like making anything. What can I throw in the microwave?

Chris: A toaster oven? These were made in the air fryer, so 16 minutes at 400 degrees. My first thought is they taste good, exactly the way I expected them to taste. There were no surprises, and I could probably eat three or four of them.

Marc: The only surprise to me was lack of enjoyment. Yep.

Steve: I guess snack time's over.

Chris: Yes. Snack time. Oops. That was the wrong song voice. There you go. But thank you to Trader Joe's for giving us permission to do this. We had fun with it.

Marc: It's the goodness of the biscuit snack time is over.

Steve: Oh, yeah, it's the worst time of the show I don't like the way it tastes with my chicken wings

Chris: All right, let's go to the last segment of our show tonight, something that is near and dear to our heart. This is what we're watching. Before we go there, I just want to remind everybody we're going to drop the podcast right after the show. So if you came in late, about 10 minutes, 15 minutes after the show live, you can go to the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And you can listen to the show and subscribe, leave us a review. That would be great. Um, what we're watching tonight, we only have two and I'll tell you why. The reason we only have two is that Steve took mine.

Steve: So yeah. Yeah. Well, I knew it. I told you, I said, I would be surprised if one of you didn't also watch it.

Chris: Yeah, I watched it this week. Well, we'll see what happens. So it'll be a joint. It'll be a joint review. And since I brought up Steve's, we'll do his first. Steve watched

Steve: Ashley Madison, Sex Lies and Scandal. Very nice. On Netflix. Yeah. On Netflix. That's right. Mark, do you remember Ashley Madison?

Marc: I remember the name, but I don't remember what it was about.

Steve: Were you ever on Ashley Madison? Are you pleading the fifth?

Marc: I was definitely not on Ashley Madison. What is it? A hooker website of some sort? What do they call it? Like an escort website?

Steve: It's a meet and greet only. It is an escort service for those who are already married.

Marc: Oh boy. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Chris: Now I remember. It was not an escort service. What it was was a dating website. They're, they're, um, let me get the picture off.

Steve: Yeah.

Chris: Yeah. Who are already married. Their marketing said life is short. Have an affair. It's for people that wanted to have an affair. Oh boy. They didn't, they didn't hire escorts and give them out.

Steve: I got to make that clear.

Chris: Well, I get where you're going, so go ahead.

Steve: That's part of the scandal.

Marc: Seems like a sex site to me.

Steve: Well, yeah, so basically they showed, uh, I think there were three different couples who were on this for various reasons. Like one was actually a Christian YouTuber, right? Of course. Right. Laugh, right. He was devastated because, you know, he said he was just on the site and he stupidly, you know, gave him his real name and, you know, real pic. in real picture and he wasn't out there looking for sex. He was just, you know, an emotional relationship. He needed validation. By the way, his wife was smoking hot. Oh boy. Yes, she was. She was really good looking. And was willing to do whatever he wanted for her. She was like, I'll stay at home. I'll have kids.

Chris: She was a Christian woman who was submissive to her husband and whatever his needs were. That's a shame.

Steve: Yeah, actually that it was like of the three of the three couples. I felt most bad for for this woman for her Yeah, because it wasn't like she was just being submissive like I'm just gonna stay home and raise kids like she would have done She would have worked she would have done whatever.

Chris: Well, she specifically talked about the fact that whenever he basically wanted sex She was there to provide. Yeah, you know like she was like even which I know, you know, she said none of us are familiar with he

Marc: Anyway, so she didn't realize that he was a total loser.

Steve: Oh, no, she had no idea. And he even said, like, I'm taking this to my grave. I'm never telling her I was on this website. And then, of course, they dumped all the data. Yeah. And they got hacked. And by the way, between the time that happened and they, like, put these YouTube videos up that went viral, like about how to raise a family.

Chris: They became YouTube stars, millions of views. So, like, yeah, in between that time. Right. and like it's a christian family yeah yeah like yeah like this is our family story right but the thing about it is though he actually there was a point where he felt ashamed about what he was doing we got to give him a little bit of a no no he he did he got on the site for excitement and he got involved And then his, his YouTube video, family videos blew up and he got really, really popular. And he said, you want to know what? I just forgot about the profile. I stopped doing it. I decided I'm going to take this to my grave with me. I felt a lot of shame, but I'm just, I'm going to focus on my family. So he made the decision to do that. But then Ashley Madison got hacked. Right. So you're talking like when he finally had to admit it, it was years later. So he hadn't really done anything. It was a year, like a year or two later. Yeah. So then it came out that he was, it was like strip clubs and strippers and all kinds of stuff.

Steve: So we don't want to ruin that part for everybody. No, no, no, no. And then there were, there was another couple who actually Like, they were both okay with being on the website and going out there for the sex they wanted. Because they're like, I'm not doing that. If you want to go get it, go get it out of there. They were an open marriage.

Chris: They had an open marriage.

Steve: They talked about it. And that's kind of like what Ashley Madison was looking for. Right. And then unfortunately, the third couple was an older man and his and his wife who were kind of having problems.

Chris: And he was a priest or he was a deacon in the church.

Steve: He was a deacon in the church and like no, no, nobody knew anything. And then like he, I think he came clean, but he was, he was, he was a shame bite and he actually killed himself.

Chris: Yeah, he did. He did.

Steve: That's not good. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not good. And like his wife clearly was grieving about it and she kind of had a very positive attitude.

Chris: But she didn't blame him. She actually, she didn't blame Ashley Madison. She didn't. She blamed him. Because what happened is, what you should do. found out that he was on it. And so they called him in and said, sorry, you're fired. And she didn't know any of that. Well, he resigned because he was embarrassed. And then she came home and, and right. But, but the, the interesting part, and we'll leave it at this, cause we don't want to tell the whole story, but the owner or the creator No, whatever. No, no. Biederman or Biederman or something. Yeah. He, he held himself out as a family man. His wife was actually one of the women on the billboards that was doing the show. And he would go on the talk shows and she'd be like, well, yeah, I don't care that he runs this site. We have a strong marriage, strong family, kids. It's not what we choose to do. You know, there are people out there that are going to do it. So this is going to be a safe place for them to do it. Blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the data dump, they're like, if you don't shut this site down right now, we're dumping everything. And they dumped his email.

Steve: And it turns out he was a pretty naughty boy. And the thing is, like, they never found out who stole all the data. They, they brought an expert, like the company brought in experts and the experts kind of thought maybe it was this, that or the other thing. I'm not going to give it away, but they, they never really proved anything. The police never proved anything. These people never proved anything. And by the way, if you still want to, you can sign up for Actually Madison. It's still a real site. That's why we're talking with you about it Mark. That's why we brought it up just in case. By the way, they're, they're much more secure now. Yeah. Supposedly.

Chris: Supposedly. Yeah. Their, their security was a sham. Okay. Ashley Madison.

Steve: Three, three episodes.

Chris: Really? Yes. Quick watch. It was a quick watch. Exactly. The grand Schwab Beanie is watching something. I believe it's in the theaters, correct? It's in the theaters.

Marc: The Fall Guy.

Chris: Isn't that the Lee Majors? No. Is it a remake of the Lee Majors? No.

Steve: Oh yeah. He was the Fall Guy.

Marc: I don't know if it's a remake, but I just saw it as a new film. That was a show. This is a movie. Yeah, this is a movie. Okay, thank you. So it's with Emily Blunt and Ryan Gosling, and I thought it was actually pretty good. I mean, I sort of, I saw the coming attractions for it, and I kind of thought, Yeah, it looks like it could be corny. It was actually good. I mean, I think you'd like it. Well, I like Emily Yeah, I mean to be blunt, you know, it was good.

Steve: It was just like, you know, let me guess it was good He's he's a he's a stunt stunt performer.

Chris: Yes gets into some trouble Kind of he rescues a blonde who's pretty hot It's part of it. They get in some more trouble

Steve: And they live happily ever after.

Chris: There's a little bit of humor in it. Yep. Some action. Some funny things with some action. Some action. Yep. They fall in love. They get mad at each other. Then they reconvene their relationship at the end and everybody knows.

Steve: You got a pretty good handle on it. Wait, who's the bad guy? There's got to be a bad guy.

Marc: Um, the bad guy is like the producer. So Ryan, Ryan Gosling is the stunt double of like a star, like, like it would be like a Tom Cruise or something. But, but the, but the star isn't anybody, you know, but, but he's the bad guy. And okay. Who plays the star? That's what I'm saying, you don't know. It really isn't anybody we know. Right, right. It's like a first role, I think, or something like that.

Chris: Thanks so much for that.

Marc: But yeah, look, it was kind of a blend of an action and a rom-com all wrapped up in one. And to me, this was one that could fall under the category of the magic of the movies. You know, you just go to the movies and you're just looking for a good time. You're entertained throughout. And at the end, you were like, I thought that was good.

Chris: So let me ask you this. You go to the movies, you're looking for a good time. Yes. Did you go alone?

Marc: I went with my wife. Oh, oh yeah.

Steve: This looks like something Amy would.

Marc: Yeah, this, this usually he goes, I was looking for that.

Steve: No, this is an Amy.

Marc: Yeah, this is one I wouldn't have gone to alone. Alone is more like horror. Yeah. Dark action. Yeah. You know, science fiction.

Steve: It's Ryan Gosling. She went for Ryan Gosling.

Chris: Right. Did she really?

Steve: Oh yeah, of course.

Marc: Well, I mean, everybody likes Emily Blunt and nothing wrong with Ryan Gosling.

Chris: Really? What are you really telling us?

Marc: I'm just saying he's a cool dude.

Chris: all over the world on Facebook, YouTube, X, and LinkedIn. And of course, listening to the Sports Poetry on Radio PGH, or after we drop the podcast, right after the show, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcasts.

Steve: Any last words, boys? Yeah, come back next week. We're gonna talk some Cam Hayward.

Chris: Oh yeah, Cam Hayward. Of course, we might have more news then. So, I am your technical director, and I am out.

Steve: KUBELOVSKY! KUBELOVSKY!