The Porch Is Live - The Steelers Pull Of A W

Chris: Y'all ready for this. Are you ready for y'all ready for this? Sounds like that song
Marc: I'm just going to let it roll.

Steve: Yeah, I had to do that. I just, I absolutely had to do that. I don't know why. I just got, um, a little inspired and Steve had to fix his hair. So welcome to the porch, the sports porch. We are here in Pittsburgh. We are all over the world. We are live on Facebook. We are live on Twitter. We are live on LinkedIn X, YouTube. And we are also live right now, live on RadioPGH.com. You missed the pre-show. Live in your living room. Our flagship radio station here in Pittsburgh. And I just put that link in the comments. If you can't watch us on social media, which I would not advise while you're driving in the car, and I will never admit to watching an Eagles game or something like that.

Steve: I text you guys from the car.

Chris: Do you? Are you a text and driver? Um, no. Okay. So, um, no. Anyway, and of course we dropped this podcast right after the show, right after the show, we dropped the podcast on the I heart radio app, apple podcast, or anywhere you get your frigging podcast. and right that's what i'm saying you can always visit us at the porch is live.com the porch is live.com the porch is live.com we love the visits uh and in in in the event that anybody wonders what the hell i am wearing um we're going to talk about that in a little bit because we have some pictures we want to show you uh we won't do that until dg

Steve: Yeah, as soon as DG checks and if you're listening live on the radio, we're sorry about the pictures. You'll have to come to our live Broadcast.

Chris: Thank you Yes All right, guys. Listen, you can also call us. We have one line open as usual 4 1 2 8 0 5 7 2 3 6 I'm no time to get in. We got an open line I'm gonna start the broadcast right now by asking this question boys. Are the Steelers a playoff team? I Let me, let me hear it. Are the Steelers a playoff team? Because right now, right now they're five and three. They're technically in second place in the AFC North. They have scored the least amount of points. In the league. Yes. Well in in in in this in the AFC North And they they however they they've also given up the most amount of points And we've talked about their defense before so are they a oh, here you go. Toss the fans a bone. There you go DG so is that for real?

Marc: They've scored the least amount of points and given up the most amount of points in the AFC North I haven't looked at the entire schedule. Yeah, that couldn't have been right

Chris: They've scored 133 points. That's better than I thought. 133 points. So I don't know what that translates into per game. It's math, Chris. I know it is, but I need a calculator for that. So 183 points over their eight games. It's about 14. It's 16.625, or as we used to say in the banking industry, 16.58 points.

Marc: You could also say 16 and a quarter.

Steve: No, they use decibels now.

Marc: Yeah, whatever it is, decimals or decibels.

Steve: OK, no, you kick up the decibels here at the porch.

Chris: I look, you guys are already off track.

Marc: Well, the question is, are the Steelers a playoff team? Yes, Steve. You know, Yins are fan number one.

Steve: This is such an easy question. And the answer is? Of course they are. Look, they played horrible. They played terrible. And yet they're five and three. So they're going to get better and they play worse teams. Therefore, they're going to be a playoff team.

Marc: I OK. I have to admit, I do think. It's mostly about the schedule, by the way. Yeah, I have to admit, I do think the I personally don't think the Steelers are a very good football team. But thank you, Don. Looking at the schedule, I have them coming in at 10 and seven, and I think that'll be good enough for the sixth seed or maybe the fifth.

Steve: I had him at nine and eight, but I think I had them like at five hundred at this point. So I think they're ahead of where I think they're going to be. And I do actually believe they will beat the Bengals one of those two games. And that'll that'll be what really puts them over the edge.

Marc: I don't think they will. But I think they will. I don't think they will, but I do think they have the last five years. Yeah, but one year it was like a missed extra point by the Bengals that happened.

Steve: It was still and also like the Bengals, though, it was just like, you know, well, if if Dak Prescott didn't step out of bounds, they would have won against the Eagles this week. You can't say that.

Marc: Well, yeah, I mean, but what I'm saying is I think the Bengals are on a trajectory at this point to finish the year like twelve and five.

Steve: No, no, they're not going to. They're not going to. They're not going to win that many games in a row.

Chris: Twelve and five. They're going to go seven into the rest of the. No.

Marc: of the way they will not go seven to what they beat the 49ers to beat the bills. I mean, they're beating everybody.

Chris: They they they have a pretty tough. They have a really tough schedule. Well, let's see. Let's see. Seven and two.

Steve: If they go seven and two, they'll probably win the Super Bowl.

Chris: Actually, they don't have that tough of a schedule. Texans. Now we know Texans are better than advertised Texans, Ravens, Steelers, Ravens, Steelers, Jags, Steelers, Chiefs, Brown Vikings, Browns. Let me get it out.

Steve: I'm just saying, like, I'm just repeating the teams that are good there. You name five good teams.

Chris: DG's in the house. We knew that already. Don't forget the Steelers love to under.

Steve: Well, yeah, that's an excellent point, David. You're right about that. Absolutely. Yeah, they do. They do play down to the level of talent they're playing against.

Chris: I'm going to get my answer in here because I like to ask questions that I already know the answer to. And the answer for me is no, not a playoff team. And the reason I say they're not a playoff team has nothing to do with the schedule or what their record is going to be. It has everything to do with the fact that when I look at this team, they're not a playoff team. And if they make the playoffs because somebody else, you know, shits the bed and the schedule and the tiebreakers allow it, they are going to get the absolute crap kicked out of them. That is my feeling.

Steve: And well, you didn't, that was not the question. The question was, will they get their butts kicked if they make the playoffs? Well, that would be depending upon who they play in the playoffs.

Chris: Okay. Hockey Jesus. So right. We can always, we can look at things in a lot of different ways.

Steve: I just want to know who you think is going to jump over the Steelers and take the playoff spot that they're currently in. I don't know. I don't go in depth like that.

Chris: Right. Well, I do.

Steve: And the only team that really can do that would be the would be the Jets and the Chargers. And they happen to be playing tonight. So one of them is going to knock somebody out tonight. So if the Jets hold pace with the Steelers and go to five and three, which they won't, then the Chargers win. If the Chargers win, then they're four and four and the Jets are four and four. And then they have two games over those teams. Yeah. Well, you think way too much about I'm just telling you that's that's the way I think about it because you have to be a little nuanced with it Do I think they're a good team? No, do I think they will be a good playoff team? No, do I think they can win a playoff team playoff game? Yes, I actually do if they play the right team and so

Chris: the eye test that we talk about all the time. Are they talk about all the time? No, no, no. Schwab brought that one up. That one up. That is true. He was talking about the defense. That's right. Yeah. So the eye test to me tells me that they and so so I agree. that what you're saying is true. This was a double, this was a double question. It was really two questions, but the same question and DG chimes. And again, I think there would have to be three AFC North teams to make the playoffs for the Steelers to be in.

Marc: So that's exactly the way it is today. Here's the way I look at it. Steelers are going to beat the Packers. They're going to beat the Cardinals. And they're going to beat the Patriots. They'll lose one of those games. That's no, that's three wins. They will. That's eight. That's eight wins. Just let him get his shit in here. That's Lord. That's eight wins. And then they have to win two of the remaining six games. I think that gets them to 10 and seven. They're going to make it. Okay.

Steve: Well, Hey, see, I think that they'll go three and three in the last six games and they'll lose one of these next three.

Marc: So, OK, so if my feeling, though, is is if they do, that's a problem.

Steve: Yeah, they're going to have to be they're going to have to rely on a tiebreaker, which may or may not go in their favor.

Marc: Right. So they're going to have to be a really good team like the Bengals or the Ravens towards the end.

Steve: Well, I already told you they are going to beat the Bengals one of those teams.

Chris: Yeah. We'll see that. We'll see if that happens. I mean, I hope they do. I, you know, so then the other side of my question, since you've answered the question schedule wise, uh, all that kind of stuff. When you look at their roster and the way they play, take the schedule out of it. Are they a playoff team? Is Kenny Pickett the quarterback you want to see in a playoff game if you're somebody else who wants to just watch playoff football? Are you happy to see him up there?

Steve: No, absolutely not. But that's not the question. The question is, are they a playoff team? Yes. The reason they're a playoff team is because their defense becomes opportunistic and that keeps them in games. And Kenny, for some reason, has this ability in the fourth quarter to be able to win those games. Yeah. Now, if they come out against Kansas City or Buffalo, maybe not Buffalo because Buffalo is not as advertised, I don't think, or Miami, let's say. And they get down by three scores, they'll be toast. They can't make that up. This team is not geared to do that.

Marc: This team is not built to come back.

Steve: No. Canada. They're not. They really aren't. So if that happens, then yeah, it's going to be an absolute… Actually, you know, you might see Kenny Pickett actually throw over 300 yards and they would still lose by two touchdowns.

Chris: I don't think he's capable of throwing for 300 yards in the NFL.

Steve: Well, that's not what Tomlin wants him to do in the NFL. I know, it's ridiculous. If they had Patrick Mahomes, he would ask Mahomes to go out there and throw for 225 yards. Just don't throw an interception.

Chris: I know, that's horrible. He's got to take the gloves off. He's not going to. Okay, next question. Is Pickens an idiot? Easily, yes.

Steve: Yeah? Oh, I mean, come on, you can't you can't pout about getting two catches for negative two yards. I mean, I'm sorry, but Deontay Johnson took that game over. Did Kelsey pout when he got four targets in the game that they won against the Dolphins? No, he didn't. You know why? Because he went out there and played and he was the guy who was sucking everybody towards him. He's got to realize that like he is. He's the feature guy now. So that's who teams want to stop. So that means Deontay is going to be open. But that doesn't mean that maybe the next week they decide to take away him. And let's face it when Firemuth comes back more targets to somebody else but less coverage on him. So maybe he does end up getting more targets that way. He doesn't think think about the long term, he only thinks about himself in the moment, and that's what he needs to fix.

Marc: And for those of you who don't know, just to catch our listening audience up, after the game, Mr. Pickens apparently was the first person to leave the dressing room, and he also went to social media scrubbed it all, removed any Steelers pictures, removed any follows of any Steelers players, including Kenny Pickett and Deontay Johnson. and then put on a put a put on a picture of him playing in high school and just had the post with the word saying free me. He has since gone back to the old profile. So, you know, look, it's all just a bunch of idiocy, which a lot of these guys are doing these days. I would just say this. I mean, like we're certainly not at the point right now where you know we where we're saying like you know we got to get rid of this guy no however um he does seem to be adding slowly piece by piece that goes in that direction yes yeah which isn't good i think you're right i think there's still time to dial him back in for sure and i did i do david i did like what heinz ward have to say it's not about you it's more about the team and hopefully he'll get some perspective from this

Steve: hopefully speed bump in the road, but I don't know. I mean, some people just are not able, you're not able to help.

Chris: I think to show this kind of, you know, and I heard somebody on the radio talking about this, about how they didn't care about it and it really doesn't make a difference and all this kind of stuff because they're just, that's the way that they cope and it's like look though that's not the way they cope that's the way they complain now and so social media has become this outlet for these players to to to voice their grievances about what's going on and So you read into that, and what I'm reading into that is this guy is selfish, period. He's selfish. And what that tells me is he's in it for the money. And Schwaber and I were talking about this.

Marc: Or immature, or just very immature.

Steve: I think he is selfish and immature, but I don't think he's a lost cause. I'm just going to leave it at that.

Chris: I think when you're at this point in your life and you're acting that way, um it's it's harder it gets harder as time goes on and and the real question is so heinz ward says you know it's not about you well heinz ward isn't in the locker room did he say that to george pickens himself no no he was he was asking an interview somewhere yeah and and he brought out and by the way heinz ward was a

Steve: massive complainer too.

Chris: Well, yeah, yeah, that's true.

Steve: So I mean, you know, he's not actually, you know, he's, he's, he's grateful now.

Chris: So yeah, he is.

Steve: I mean, I think he, but I think he had to learn that. And hopefully that would be a good guy for, for Pickens to, to emulate because yeah, Let's face it.

Marc: We need him. Now, Mike Lawrence does have a good question here because somebody needs to talk to him. And who's it going to be? Is it Mike Tomlin? Is it Canada? Is it Kenny Pickett? Is it Deontay Johnson? Who's going to talk to him?

Steve: I think Tomlin is the number one guy there, for sure. I mean, he's the head coach. He can go to him and say, look, I know you had a terrible game statistic wise, but we won the game and this is why we won the game. We need you to keep your head in the game because you're going to be the guy. Yeah.

Chris: And whatever you do, do not throw furniture off the 30th floor of a building or get concussed by a Bengal. or not pay your child support. Right. I love this. That's a that's a slippery slope.

Marc: Those are those are actually the the relatively light things that Antonio. I know.

Chris: Yeah, those are. Yes.

Steve: Yes, they are. We're keeping a PG 13 here.

Chris: I like Karen's comment here. The whole damn world has gone to hell in a handbasket done on purpose by a very few rich, power hungry, money hungry, control freak communists.

Steve: There's so much to unpack here. I hope Karen feels better about that. Get that out, Karen.

Marc: I feel like Karen's on the wrong show. I do, too. She's on the wrong show.

Steve: No, I think we're talking about people who have grown up. and basically have been given things. You know, I see where she's coming from here. Now I get it, but I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm really sure about the communist side of things, but that's where I was a little confused. I want to unpack that. I think that, I think Karen needs her own show. Yeah, Karen unpacked.

Chris: What do you think? Karen unpacked and Pat on track. Where is Pat? He wasn't on our earlier show.

Steve: What do you think he's doing? I think he's taking a vacation. Where? He had to get away from all those old people now in the villages.

Chris: But where do you take a vacation from when you live in a vacation area? Buffalo. You go to Buffalo. DG says she's complaining about the owners, maybe, I don't know.

Marc: Yeah, maybe. Is Karen being a Karen?

Chris: It's hard not to. No, that's definitely not a Karen. No, you don't think so?

Steve: No. She's very angry in that statement. Yeah. And that's okay, Karen. Bring your anger to the porch.

Chris: Yeah, please, drop a comment. Let it out. Drop an angry comment.

Marc: That's one of those things. How did that happen?

Steve: How did somebody arrive at Karen as like, you know, uh, like sort of like, well, because I knew, I knew it's a play off the word caring, caring, caring.

Chris: Are you sure about it? Yes.

Steve: Really? Yes. It's a fake caring. It's a Karen. Oh, I don't know.

Marc: That sounds a little made up.

Steve: It actually sounds if you want, if you wanted an answer, I gave it to you. If you don't like it, then make up your own.

Marc: Is that what your college age children told you? Yeah.

Steve: No, it's what my own brain told me, which you should be very suspicious of.

Chris: Well, I would say that I have known very closely a Karen in my life, Schwaber, and I mean, I can understand. That's not right.

Steve: I think Amy really wants to know if you're Matt Cannon.

Chris: I think we have to answer this question. Let's do this right now. OK, listen, guys, for those of you who are with us a lot and we really appreciate it. And if you're listening on the podcast, we're going to have to describe it. Or if you're listening on radio PGH, we'll have to describe it. But if you're watching on social media or on YouTube after the fact, Um, our, our, our fan DG, we, he, he's a super fan, our friend, excuse me, our friend DG, uh, super friend. That's horrible. That's a horrible player. Yeah.

Steve: No, you can't say super friend because then everybody wants to go to the wonder twins.

Chris: That just goes down a rabbit hole. You don't get out of the program. You just don't get out of that. Our wonder twin super friend DG, uh, was kind enough to send us, uh, some outfits. He thinks we don't dress appropriately for the podcast i think he was really sending them for hollow i know he was i know but i think he really wants us to wear them all the time so anyway i am the technical director so of course you can see. My nerd glasses on my shirt and what i was checking out here was. Um, I love the pocket protector stuff in my pocket. It looks like I have a calculator a water bottle a banana a pen An extra pair of glasses And and a risk and a fake rolex.

Steve: So I am the old you gotta have an extra pair of glasses in your pocket Yes, for sure.

Chris: Yes.

Marc: Yes, but the better the better, uh outfits.

Chris: Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna bring the better outfits Well, let's get all three of us up here first So there it is. We have on the left, Hockey Jesus. We have on in the middle, the Grand Schwabini, who is really rubbing his lamp out there. He's good at rubbing it. And then we have then we have me, the technical director, the nerd. on the right. And I got to tell you, I got this letter. It's too long to read on the broadcast, but I got this fantastic letter from DG explaining, you know, how to do this because obviously we needed instructions on how to get our uniforms on. And, um, It was just wonderful. So DG, I got to tell you, you continue to amaze me. Thank you so much. David, the hockey walking stick is incredible. I love it. And basically what DG was saying, and I'll take that down. What DG was saying was that our fans have been clamoring for us to get out into public again. We haven't done that yet. And yes, I had to cancel Thursday night, some unforeseen circumstances. So maybe maybe this Sunday or. OK. Yeah. And of course, DG says he thinks we should all wear them out when representing the sports port since your popularity is exploding. I'm not sure about our popularity.

Marc: We could lose popularity.

Chris: But if we are exploding, he is right about the exploding part. You listen to the pregame show. Yeah, I think we had a conversation about exploding. But anyway Okay, so but no no he basically said we need to get out we need to get out in public we need to mingle with the our adoring friends and We're gonna do that DG. Don't you worry and and we'll make sure to fill you guys in on that so by the way in the back of my

Marc: my cape, it does say the Grand Schwalbe.

Chris: The Grand Schwalbe is pretty classic. Yeah. Yeah. The Marks Magazine lamp.

Marc: No, no, no. This magic lamp is for me when I make my prediction.

Steve: Hey Brad, welcome. Brad is in the house. Glad to see you made it back to Minnesota. I assume you did.

Chris: Thanks to DG, you guys can compete for the title of men that fashion forgot. Listen, we already won that title.

Steve: Oh yeah, fashion. Yeah, long time ago. You've come to the wrong place for fashion.

Chris: Yeah, long time ago. Um, so okay, so I got another question I got another question and and why can we talk some broderick jones for god's sake? Well, yeah, okay Let let's do that.

Marc: Let's talk broderick jones.

Chris: Yes And by the way Let me remind you guys that you can always grab the podcast of sports porch on the on the iheart radio app apple podcast Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts And we'd love for you to subscribe to the show. So you get the new episodes. Leave us a review We'd really love to see a hear or read a bunch of those And, of course, on radio PGH, which is coming soon. And yes, Steve, we do have a line open if anybody wants to call in 412-805-7236. And Amy has one more comment. DG, can you believe I have to live with the Grant Schwab eating? We don't believe it, Amy.

Steve: Yeah, actually, sometimes we were the original livers. That's right. We spent our four years. Amy, you get the rest.

Marc: You guys taught me how to clean dishes. Thank you. We actually did. We did.

Chris: That is true. Does she know the story? Oh, yeah. I've told. Oh, yeah. How did you tell it?

Marc: I told her that I didn't know that you had to use hot water instead of cold water. Yeah, that's one of the big ones.

Chris: Soap on the sponge. Oh, you didn't know about the soap on the sponge?

Marc: No, I knew about you use soap, but, you know, you had that contraption where the soap was in the sponge.

Steve: Yeah.

Marc: I wasn't, you know, that wasn't.

Chris: You couldn't figure that out?

Marc: That was one that, you know, in my house growing up, I had never been in that situation.

Chris: It's true, it's damn true. So who washed the dishes in your house? Your mom, right?

Marc: And we had a dishwasher.

Chris: Yeah, well, I mean, okay, and how much did you pay the dishwasher? Ah, come on, Schwab. That's wrong. Could you speak the dishwasher's line? No, no.

Marc: He means like an automatic dishwasher. The first one spoke Jamaican.

Chris: There you go.

Steve: That's his love of reggae. It all makes sense.

Marc: It all comes down to where Bob Marley came from. Aren't you guys glad that I introduced that to you?

Chris: That was more Scarlato. That was a payback. That was Scarlato.

Steve: Now he likes somebody else. He liked Black Uhuru. Yeah. No, there was somebody else. Uh, Peter Tosh. Yes. Peter Tosh. He was Peter Tosh.

Marc: He was a General Warnes. See what happens when we get distracted.

Steve: It just goes, we were down and out.

Marc: 30 years later. Right here in Jamaica.

Chris: Can I talk about Broderick Jones? I know, I'm queuing up the ticker for it, so that was a perfect… They say it cure the coma, man.

Marc: What the hell? They say it cure glucoma. Oh yeah, that's right, yeah. I'm the bush doctor, yeah.

Chris: All right. Good enough. Yeah. So the rest of the year and should he start on the right side?

Steve: Well, I think he should have started six games ago. Right. But you know that I'm not the head coach, so I can't do that.

Chris: But I think everybody agrees with you on that.

Steve: Well, yeah, I would say 99% there's some there's some yinzer out there who's like I just don't believe that like suddenly they realize like chooks oka for isn't very good and they had to make a change like this week. Yeah, like I did that just that just Blows by mine because it was clear when he was in he was better than Dan Moore who they still think is better Who isn't right and then they put him on the right and he does just as good Yeah, and he does way better than you ever could and what exactly did Shooks really do to get himself? Well, he's been with it once again. It's a loyalty thing with Tomlin, right? he's played pretty much every position on the offensive line because years ago they were injured and he would just move in and out and he's good and To come in for a couple plays, he's not good as a starter. And that's what Tomlin fails to see. Like, there are guys that need to be in there for like 10 or 12 plays. There are guys that need to be in there all the time. And Broderick Jones needs to be in there all the time. He opens up holes with the running game. He's a great pass protector. So, it's clear to me that Broderick Jones is definitely as advertised, and I'm finally happy to say he's going to be starting the rest of the season.

Chris: Yeah, but I thought to me, and I'll let you go in just a sec, Robert. Okay. I'm on hold. To me, he was drafted to be the left tackle. Well, he was. Arguably, the most important position on the line with the center, but really the quarterback's blind side. And so. Well, why is he the right tack?

Steve: Because Dan Moore Jr. sucks at anything but left tackle. OK, that's the problem.

Marc: And you know, sometimes that's OK. Like when the Eagles drafted Lane Johnson, the idea was they had Jason Peters at left tackle. The idea was he would play on the right side and then eventually move on over. It's not going to matter. But then they just realize, you know, you're really good at right tackle. Let's just keep you there. Got you. So they could do that or they can move them over next year.

Steve: Yeah. And I'm not worried about it. I'm just happy to see he's out there. Well, he makes a difference. He's getting the reps. He makes a difference. He did make a boneheaded play with that unsportsmanlike conduct. By the way, I never saw a replay on that. Yeah, I know his helmet got knocked off. And then I think he went after somebody after his helmet got knocked off and always the second person gets the flag.

Marc: And I think that's all something we might have.

Steve: Still, he's got he's got he can't do that in the future.

Marc: Yeah. Something we might have forgot about because the game was played on Thursday. But what do you guys think of Canada on the sideline?

Chris: I thought that was actually a good move.

Marc: I thought that was a very good move. I mean, you know, in the bottom lines, when you're up there in the sky, I mean, you can't bond with the team. I agree. He's in there fighting with the guys and and talking to multiple guys besides just the quarterback. Um, I thought that was a big difference.

Chris: I, I think it was a huge difference. Do I think it's going to change him and the way he calls his offense? Honestly, I don't know because what you're, what you're looking at is exactly what you were talking about Schwab or he's, he's the eye in the sky. He's got, uh, you know, he's got a hotline basically to one guy on the field versus now you're on the field calling a place and you not only are you able to talk to more to more players and explain your concepts. If they're not running them correctly, you're also able to hear the chatter behind your back, you know, which is important because as players come off the field, you know, they're talking like that was the worst play we could have run or, you know, I mean, it comes off different than that. But I think that this, if they keep him on the sideline, which I can't imagine they wouldn't do, I hope he doesn't go back in the box. But if he stays on the sideline now, then this will be the last chance he has. I think this, because to tell a coordinator, I don't think he was, he decided to do that. I think Tomlin told him to do that.

Marc: I do too.

Steve: Yeah. Either that or yeah. Cause the Rooney's don't get involved, but yeah, I agree with you. I think he was told he needs to be down on the field. Yeah. I believe you're right about that. And I do think it was a good move. you wanna hear my conspiracy theory sure that because i know you love a conspiracy theory actually think he got moved down because he got demoted he's not really calling the place anymore and somebody upstairs is actually calling the place and he's just kind of me.

Marc: I think that's total BS.

Steve: It's conspiracy. I heard. Did you come up with that? I didn't hear that from anybody. I just made that up right now.

Marc: No, actually, actually, I heard I did. That was out there because it was it was on the radio this week. I didn't hear. But Pompeiani said that he was told from somebody, you know, who's in the know in the in the Steelers locker room, that that is 100 percent false.

Steve: Yeah, I'm sure it is, but I just love the conspiracy theory.

Chris: But even if it's 100% false, which I think it is, do you think, let's pretend that it's actually 100% true, Do you think they would even tell Bob Pompiani, even the guy in the know?

Steve: No, no, no. They wouldn't tell anybody. But what it does is it, it makes Matt Canada rely on somebody upstairs to be able to see things. And maybe Canada wasn't seeing things the way this person is. And I think that's a good, I don't know who that person is, but they probably have two or three people looking at different things. Like, Hey, you look at Deontay. Oh yeah, of course.

Chris: They've got eyes all over them.

Steve: See what coverage they're in, see what they're doing with their rotations, you know, and things like that. He's got to rely on them now because he can't see any of it. I mean, he can pull out the pad just like the quarterback can, but it's way different than when, than seeing it live.

Chris: I think it was, it was good move though. It was a good move. I do agree. Last question before we do our NFL picks, who is worse than Kenny Pickett quarterbacks in the AFC? Who is worse? I didn't want to ask who was better because you could rattle off my home server, blah, blah, blah. Who's worse than Kenny Pickett?

Steve: In the AFC.

Marc: Yeah. Gardner Minshew.

Chris: Right.

Marc: Uh, anybody in Cleveland? Um, I would say the Sean Watson.

Steve: Yes. You think he's worse?

Marc: Okay. I'd say it's a, that's a draw at best. Um, I'm going to say, um, Zach Wilson, Zach Wilson, they're five and three.

Chris: Okay. Um, not, not CJ Stroud. Nope. Um, not Herbert. How about the kid from Tennessee? Will Levis?

Steve: too early, small sample size, small sample size. I would say Levis still, still look better than Russell Wilson. Better than Russell Wilson.

Chris: You think he's better than Russell Wilson's having a good year.

Marc: He is actually having a good year.

Chris: Yeah. He's having a good year. He's just on a terrible team. I disagree with that. Yeah. Better than Desmond Ritter. Oh, definitely. Definitely. Sure. Uh, Amy says Joey Porter jr. Is too handsy. I don't remember us talking about Joey Porter jr. But thanks Amy.

Marc: I'd say it's I'd say it's a draw with Mac Jones Yeah, now you got to remember when Mac Jones that his rookie year.

Chris: It was a top ten offense. Yeah.

Steve: Well, yeah Yeah, Mac Jones is definitely a lesser.

Chris: Oh All right, how about in the NFC How about in the NFC Tony DeVito, right that's easy

Steve: Whoever the hell he is. You could even say Daniel Jones at this point. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Chris: Sam Howell.

Marc: No, Sam Howell's better.

Chris: Sam Howell is much better. Yeah. Baker Mayfield. No.

Steve: Baker Mayfield. Better. Probably not. Tannehill. Oh, we didn't. Well, he's not.

Marc: I'd say that. I'd say the number one pick, um, CJ Stroud, not CJ Stroud. Uh, the, or geez, Bryce Young.

Chris: Bryce Young. Bryce Young is worse than Kenny Pickett. Yeah. Uh, David Carr. No, every single quarterback on the Arizona Cardinals roster, but Kyler Murray. Yes. Yes. Now, here's a good one. I heard. Yeah. Did you hear this on the radio today?

Marc: Yeah. I know the guy said he.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Dobbs better. And I'm thinking you're nuts. Probably not. At best, I would put them even.

Marc: What about the guy for the Jordan Love, the guy backing up on the Jordan Love?

Steve: He's better than Jordan Love. Uh, badging, badging, badging. Yeah.

Marc: Isn't there a guy like Tommy tune or something?

Chris: Uh, that's, yeah, that's, uh, the Cardinals.

Marc: He's also a very well-known, uh, Broadway, uh, performer, backup singer.

Steve: Um, tell me too, Tom.

Chris: Yeah. Um, Oh, DG, he is certainly grand. He's he's he's replying to Amy's comment. Can you believe I've delivered the grand Schwabini? He is certainly grand and his sense of humor cracks me up. He's a good sport for wearing the turban and cape.

Steve: Veteran Aiden O'Connell.

Chris: My letter did to the porch did say that the magic lamp was for you when you need to summon him. Does, does Amy summon you?

Marc: Are you summoned? I've been summoned before.

Chris: Does she say, does she say, put down that, uh, soap filled sponge and turn off the cold water and come to me? No. That's it. That's a no. All right. I mean, you could have said something, Mark.

Marc: For those of, for our listening audience that isn't watching, I'm just shaking my head.

Chris: the picks. Keep doing it. Keep doing it.

Marc: Let's get the pick. Where are we on the year? All right. Is it the grand Schwab beanie leading the way?

Chris: Yes, it is. The grand Schwab beanie is 17 and seven. He was two and one last week. Steve was two and one. He's now 14 and 10 on the year. And Chris always pulls out one win. And I'm saying some dangerous things tonight, and I am now nine and 15. So these are our picks. What is your pick? The first game, the Thursday night game, the best game of the year and probably the most important game on Thursday night football of all time. The Panthers at the Bears.

Marc: The Grinch, while Beanie says. The Bears.

Chris: All right, H.J., what do you got for us?

Steve: I'm not going to overthink this because if I do end up with the Panthers, so I'm just going to go with the bears.

Chris: All right, well, I'm going to have to go with the Panthers because if I got to just I'm either I'm all in it, so. I'm either all in or I'm all out. And right now I'm all out. So, OK, Sunday night, we probably have the second greatest game ever in the history of primetime football. The Jets at the Raiders. What is the grand schwa beanie got cooking up there?

Marc: The grand schwa beanie says the Raiders.

Steve: All right, Mark Stevo. I'm going with the Jets because I think they're going to lose tonight against the Chargers. Yeah. So they're going to have to win. And I think they can beat the Raiders. The Raiders aren't that good.

Chris: Yeah. And Chris is going with the Jets as well. And our pick them game for Sunday is the 49ers at the Jaguars.

Steve: This is a really good Schwabini.

Chris: Could you rub that one out for us, please?

Marc: Really good one. Hmm. Um, the grand swell beanie says it takes him a long time to rub that lamp. Is it a bird turd or is it sunshine? It's the Jaguars.

Chris: DG, I'm not sure if you cursed us or added a very entertaining segment to the show. It's a blessing and a curse.

Steve: The Grand Swabini has the Jaguars. All right. I'm going with the 49ers. I don't think they're going to lose four in a row.

Chris: And I'm going to go with the 49ers as well. All right, next, what we have coming up, if you're listening on the podcast, again, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your wicked podcasts. And there is more to my costume, but that's going to come in the spring. Yes, it will. Please remember to subscribe and leave us a review. And obviously you can catch us on RadioPGH.com if you're driving in the car. It's really that simple. We'll have an app for that. Amy May says, I will be taking that lamp off of him. Thank you, Amy. We really appreciate that. She's dreading that. I don't think he's bringing it home, by the way. We're going to move to a part of our show here where we talk about Hockey Jesus. And we will now introduce, Robert, you're going to want to pay attention to this. We will now introduce Hockey Jesus. That's free. I like that. I like that a lot. Absolutely. Praying to the hockey gods. Um, you could catch hockey Jesus on the podcast after every penguins game. That is the sports porch podcast. Anywhere you get your podcasts, every single game, five to 10 minute game recap, doing a good job, man. Bringing the music in sounds good.

Steve: Finally got the music down. It takes a little while to get that intro music going because it can last a while. So you want to talk over some of it, but not All of it. Yeah, but it helps you. It helps. It does. Yeah, it gets you going.

Chris: So Hockey Jesus is preaching now. And if you have any comments on the Penguins in the state of the franchise at this point, you can always call us at 412-805-7236. We do have a line open.

Steve: Only positive comments, please. Preach Jesus. So here's the deal with the Penguins. They finally They finally got off the slide. They got, fortunately, they got to play against San Jose. San Jose is 0-10-1. Oh, they did have a tie. Yeah, they do have one point. Okay. And they actually, I think, got that in the first game. It's good for them. And that is where Carlson came from it is where Carlson came from and everybody else look all you need to know about San Jose is Mikhail Granlund who we cursed on this team when we got him from the former GM whose name shall not be spoken on the show Don't say it. Don't say it And Anyway, he plays he plays on their first power play unit, right? That's all you need to say. Mikkel Grandlin is on their first line on their first power play unit. That's how terrible they are. Okay. So, um, and they are terrible, but it is always good to get a win. It was the second game in a row. San Jose gave up 10 goals, 10 goals. Yeah. They, they gave up 10 goals, two nights the night before.

Chris: Do you know how many goals, uh, the, the most amount of goals scored by one team in the NHL's history? Of course I do. Yeah. How many? 16. Oh my God.

Steve: Were you listening to our show earlier or did you already know that come on i know all things i go for it i forget who it was though yeah nineteen twenties something like oh well then it had to be one of the big six party somebody from montreal it wasn't mario. He could, he could, he could score 16 goals against San Jose. Yes. Okay. Um, but here's the deal. The penguins are still in last place in the Metro. Um, well technically they are, but they're, they have a few games in hand on some teams that are above them, but. We're not looking at the standings yet, we're really not thinking about the position, just because I said we have to give the first 20 games, and I actually predicted in the first 20 games they'd get somewhere between 16 and 18 points, and right now they're sitting at 8 after 10 games. So they're sitting about right where I thought they would be. I know they were going to get off to a slow start, I didn't, I still think they have some things they need to figure out. Way too many cross ice passes. Their power play still is not clicking well. So they gotta figure out some things with Anaheim. And Anaheim's bread hot, by the way. Since they beat the Penguins, they've won their last three. They actually beat Vegas Golden Knights and are sitting right behind them for first place. in the Western Conference, so Anaheim is actually a really good team for them to be playing right now because they have some emotion because they lost in the last seconds after having a five on three power play, which was just awful to watch but That's what the that's what the Penguins need to figure out they are getting great third line chemistry with Zahorna now on that line and for the first time ever As a Pittsburgh Penguin, Jeff Carter got a healthy scratch on the fourth line. They bring in good old Vinny Henestrosa, and he scores a goal. It was actually a really nice goal, too. It was definitely something that Carter could have never… Even thought of scoring three years ago, so I think that the penguins are starting to get it back together. But they're still going to have to play a disciplined game against Anaheim. They're still going to have to get more traffic in front of the net. They're still lacking all of those things. I didn't see very much of that in the San Jose game. Uh, and Ricard Raquel has no goals yet for the season, which is pretty shocking because the guy is, uh, the guy is a scoring machine. So I think once he gets going, I think that's going to help, but let's face it. I mean, Riley Smith has just been incredible on that second line, so I think he's sucking up a lot of the energy there, which is fine. I'm OK with that. If Raquel's not scoring but Smith is or Geno's scoring, I have no problem. I can't fault Ricard Raquel for not scoring a goal.

Chris: Does it worry you that I mean, it's 10 games into the season. It's an 82 game season, right?

Steve: So we're one eighth of the year, right? Point one, two, five for you. Decimal freaks. Good enough.

Chris: Four and six at the bottom of the Metro eight points. I mean, no, it really doesn't worry.

Steve: Well, look, they played 10 games. The flyers who are ahead of them by three points have two games. They played 12 games. So if they win the next two, they're already over two teams. And one of them is Columbus, who's not who started out a little hot. So the flyers, they'll regress to the bottom. The penguins are not a bottom dweller. Definitely aren't.

Chris: Okay. And I'm not assuming that they are. I'm just looking at it from the start, the start to the season. Now DG chimes in that final goal scored by Anaheim was a gut punch that ended up waking my neighbors. Yeah. You want to watch your language around your neighbors. Yeah. And you should watch hockey games alone to DG.

Steve: Um, If you ever want to hear some nice language, you should stop over at the Hockey Jesus household. There's always some F-bombs flying. Unbelievable.

Chris: Really?

Steve: Hockey Jesus would do that? I was watching a hockey game that wasn't even the Penguins game and I was screaming.

Marc: Is this correct? Did they lose a game? One goal and like the other team scored Short-handed on a five on three like a little five seconds left or something.

Steve: Yeah that that was that's the Anaheim game That was a big F and I don't know no that I didn't I didn't throw an f-bomb with that one Just because I saw it coming actually to be honest with you Because what they are doing with the power play even on the five on three is it's pass pass pass pass pass pass pass pass pass pass shoot, block shot, they clear it, and then the guy was coming out of the penalty box. So actually, it would have been a five on four that they scored on. But it was still a shorthanded, and there were like five seconds left. Yeah, it definitely is a gut punch, I think, for a team that's like thinking, okay, we're going to score five on three, we're We're going to win for four to three and everything's going to be OK. And then that happens. And then you're just like, what just happened? Sometimes that happens in hockey, though. It does. But the Penguins bring a lot of it on themselves just because they're not they're afraid to get to the net. They need to definitely get to the net. And if they don't get if they don't block Johnny Whitehall's vision tomorrow night, They're not going to score any goals against him. He's a really good goalie.

Marc: What were you putting up there?

Chris: Oh, yeah. I well, I wanted to bring back a segment of headlines. It means something. I wanted to surprise you guys with that. But, you know, I just want to make sure that hockey Jesus has finished up his sermon for the evening.

Steve: Well, the thing the thing you have to look for is they've got two more games on the West Coast at Anaheim, at L.A. and then Buffaloes in town on the weekend. I'm hoping that they they split the Anaheim LA they win one they lose one and I the Buffalo game for me is the game that I'm really gonna be watching Buffalo is Definitely gonna be one of those teams. They're gonna have to jump over to get into a playoff spot. They're young there they score a lot of goals and They like to play a physical game. So I think that game is gonna be real fun to watch and that's Saturday night

Marc: Is that the team that has that like Trent Charlton?

Steve: No, no, they have Cage Thompson cage Thompson. He's like six. Yeah, he's six four. He's really fast. I mean, he's really good I don't want to say he reminds me of Lemieux, but his size does his hands definitely don't but he plays a big game But yet he's very skilled for a big guy. He's a real good player. He is he is but the so he they and they've got some other players too, but Yeah. So that's, that's it from the hockey Jesus.

Chris: All right. We got the ducks coming up tomorrow night. Are you going to, are you going to make it through that game?

Steve: Oh yeah. I'll have a couple of extra cups of coffee. Actually. I'm glad because on Tuesdays I don't really start watching a hockey until nine o'clock so I can come home, have a cup of coffee and relax and get ready for the pregame.

Chris: All right. We'll look for the, we'll look for the hockey Jesus preaching on the podcast after every penguins game on the sports porch on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts or anywhere you get your rigging podcasts. um okay guys headlines it means i saw this a couple days ago and this is courtesy of fox news um These are some of the strange objects that get stuck in people's bodies per the CDC. Okay. Okay.

Steve: I thought that was hilarious. I'm scared of what this could be.

Chris: It starts off with magnets, magnets. I can believe that chargers, chargers, chargers, uh, lollipops.

Marc: I had a lollipop today. That seems normal though.

Chris: And wouldn't a lollipop just dissipate? Wait a minute. Lollipops getting stuck in people's bodies seems normal to you?

Marc: They're in your mouth the beginning of it.

Chris: All you have to do is accidentally swallow it. I'm not sure that's what they're referring to, but okay.

Steve: What, you stick your lollipop up your nose?

Marc: You're saying it's entered the body in a different area.

Steve: Like you stick it up your nose?

Marc: Or maybe they're not, but that's where your head was. Yes.

Chris: Lollipops and orange peels are just some of the surprising objects.

Marc: Orange peel doesn't surprise me. I mean, a lot of people bite right into that orange.

Steve: Yes. Sometimes I suck on an orange peel after my old fashion's done.

Chris: That's funny. Does it ever get stuck in your body parts?

Steve: Not yet, but now I'm going to be weary of it. I'm going to stay away from that orange peel.

Chris: Foreign objects being stuck in strange places is predictable at number nine when you consider that more than half are sex toys. Oh, an orange peel can be a sex toy. But there's also the factor of people. What is that? Absent mind. What is what? Looks like a silver dollar. Is that a magnet? Yeah. There's also the factor of people absentmindedly poking themselves with objects, especially in the nose, ears, and mouth.

Steve: Do you ever stick a pencil up your nose? Come on. I can't remember ever doing that. No, no, not even like middle school. You got bored. Just was like, I wonder how far you really did that. You did that. I'm asking the question. I didn't say I did it. Well, I mean, usually a question means an answer. Then you can ask a question.

Chris: Have you ever stuck a pencil up your nose? Well, are you going to answer the question? No, I never have. No. Okay, great.

Marc: um yeah almost in the well that's not true i did but not very far almost look like steve like hugging his grandmother in the lower right hand corner my grandmothers

Steve: Okay, thanks Mark.

Chris: My grandmothers are dead. Maybe in the afterlife. In December 2022, a blogger on Defector listed some of the specific foreign objects found in the CPSC database classified by orifice. Some of the items that were lodged in people's ears included a cufflink, wet tissues, a plastic sword, an insect, a rock, a lollipop, a charger, a piece of ice cream cone, a push pin, A pencil eraser, and I love this one, a battleship game piece.

Steve: Ah, the submarine, I'm sure. That's nice and smooth. There you go. I would not want to put the destroyer in my ear.

Chris: Yeah. Liquid items placed in the ear included shoe glue, lighter fluid, Candle wax and hydrogen peroxide. That's yeah, that's people just trying to clean out their ears Yeah, some of the foreign objects some of the foreign objects put into noses included gum wrappers a used match Magnets in your nose rice candy hearts, yarn, jewels, I mean, gummy worms, orange peels, and an LED light.

Steve: Pencils didn't make the list, huh?

Chris: Flowers, cheese, popcorn kernels, and glue. I mean, what do people not stick in their nose? The unintentional swallowing of items. So, uh, in some of the ingested foreign objects, a steak knife, this is in your mouth, a steak knife, a small, a small, small flashlight just to see what's down there.

Steve: Hey, I lost my magnet. Is it down there?

Chris: A glue stick. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. A glue stick. Pet toys. Coins. Pet toys. This is so general. Office supplies. Does that include like a ream of paper?

Steve: The same could be said of pet toys. Pet toys is a pretty broad category.

Chris: I know. Cigarettes. Aluminum foil. Hair clips. Keys and darts. Oh, now here it is. Here's the genitalia comments. For men, some of the foreign objects included sex toys, beads, paper clips, coins, a car key, a pencil. A nail, a ceiling fan chain. What I first read was a ceiling fan before I got the chain. Like, how did you do that? A cell phone charger and a wooden spoon. For women, in case you're wondering, some items included coins, a screw. That's normal. It gets better. A pen, a drumstick. Now, would that be a chicken drumstick or a flashlight, a drinking cup, a golf ball, a nail polish bottle, and even a spatula for those? What was that movie? Oh no, that was an egg beater. Yeah, no, the spatula. Stripes for those stripes fans out there.

Steve: I was thinking an egg beater for, um, what was that?

Chris: Uh, bachelor party. Bachelor party. Now, but here's the thing. Think about the male genitalia. Like they weren't talking about rectum. So all that stuff was in the special place. There you go. Some of the items that were placed in rectums included, of course, sex toys, spoons, magnets, bottles, crowns, wrenches, action figures, a vegetable peeler. Candles, hold on. People are aggressive. This is the best one. A fishing pole. A fishing pole. A fishing pole. Very small.

Steve: You got to get that ice cream cone out of there. A fishing pole. Probably a miniature fishing pole.

Chris: Is very long. So how… A miniature fishing pole. But the guy walks into the emergency room with a fishing pole sticking out of his ass.

Marc: Yeah, doc, I got a fishing pole up my…

Steve: It was a fishing accident. They happen all the time. I hope it didn't have the hook on the end.

Marc: I'm not saying it was done on purpose, but it wasn't done on purpose.

Chris: I guess I didn't catch that one. I caught me a bass, and it was anyway.

Marc: I mean, I love the guy, and I want to kill him, too. All right, guys.

Chris: And that's about it.

Marc: Jeff, thanks for being here.

Chris: anything girls stuck in the uh… popsicle stuck splinter and actually seen tricks with ping pong balls steelers freak on you to the copy of canada's playbook we must not want a good one ron popiel pocket picture Alright, thank you for watching the Sports Porch all over the world on social media, Facebook, YouTube, X, LinkedIn, and of course, listening on radiopgh.com. We're going to download the podcast. We're going to drop it right after the show anywhere you get your podcasts, and you can always visit us at theporcheslive.com. Theporcheslive.com. Theporcheslive.com. I am your technical director, and I am out. See you next week. Shhh.