The Porch is LIVE - Jagr Returns to the Burgh

Chris: all right welcome to the sports porch pittsburgh thanks for being here guys we are live right now all over the world we are live on linkedin we are live on youtube we are live on x we're live on instagram thanks for joining us on instagram guys drop a comment say hello we are live on facebook the gram we are also live Believe it or not, we are live on internet radio, on our internet radio station, radio PGH. I just put that link in the comments. You can stream it live so you don't have to look at our ugly faces. If you're driving in the car, we wouldn't. Speak for yourself.

Steve: We wouldn't want to scare anybody. Okay, fine.

Chris: My ugly face. My ugly class.

Marc: I'll break us into your funk.

Steve: Every trio has got an ugly face. That's true. That's true. And right now it's mine. I understand.

Chris: And that's okay. Well, I shaved, you know, I shaved and that makes me uglier.

Steve: You did not shave. You were definitely not clean shaved.

Chris: No, that's dandruff. Do you ever get dandruff?

Steve: It's not like, what do you call it, like alopecia?

Chris: No, Mark, it's plaque psoriasis. OK, that's like the condition of the of the decade now.

Marc: No, I get dandruff in my eyebrow.

Chris: All right. This is great cream. Listen, if you're if you're watching. Nice. Where do you get it from? Never mind. I'm not about to tell you my source. Nice, nice, nice. I want to I want to welcome the Fantasy Alpha crowd on Twitter slash X. What up to the show? Thank you very much. Hopefully Alpha. Hopefully you'll enjoy the show as much as we do. We got a comment coming in already. Yeah. It's my mom. It's my mom, Janice. Hello, Janice. Thank you for being here. She likes to watch in silence. Yeah, she's smart. Yeah, she is smart. And so anyway, we're here to talk about sports, Pittsburgh sports. Of course, we know Yager's jersey was retired. Yeah, and we'll get to that. We'll get to the non-existent Steelers news right now. Spring training. The first spring training game, I think, is this weekend. I'm not sure, but the Buccos are firing up. I've got some thoughts on that because the Bucco report is coming back next week. And of course, Hockey Jesus is in the house. Very exciting stuff for hockey jesus. He's got his own little sub channel on youtube So I I encourage you please subscribe to our youtube channel. It's the sports sports black and gold. You'll see it Uh hockey jesus preaches after every game. We'll get there. We'll get to him Um, just I mean even though we call this right here. I know well Yeah, well right here. Yeah, and then what happens is all of a sudden you're not right here See, so just don't piss me off tonight. Anyway, I can do the same buddy Yeah, that's right. You're the guy in the middle tonight, by the way. You're the guy in the middle. I'm like the guy. Soulwax79 on Instagram is back with us. Thanks for being here, buddy. He did say sell, fire, all except Sid. Listen, Soulwax, we'll get to that. Hockey Jesus has a lot going on there. He's got a lot to talk about.

Marc: Coming around to your thinking.

Chris: Yeah. And for those of you watching on Instagram, the comments that you, you drop, I don't, they don't come into the queue that I see. So I have to pay attention to them too on an, on another screen. So if I don't get you in the show, please just be patient. We'll try drop your comments. The porch is live.com is our website. And of course you can call into the show and I'll put the number up there at some point. But let's get right, let's get right to the meat of things before we go on to everything else. And then we do have, headlines that mean something tonight and what we're watching. Amy May is in the house. What's up, Amy May? Hey, how you doing? Thanks. She just likes to keep an eye on her husband. I don't blame her. Yeah. She's like, is he really going down there to do? No, she's our number one fan.

Marc: She is a number one.

Steve: She is a number one fan. She's a great contributor.

Chris: She has something to say about it. DG, what's going on? What's happening? David, I hope you brought your hockey knowledge.

Steve: What's going on, DG? Hey, hey, hey.

Chris: And I got to give a shout out Schwab or show us the shirt real quick. Just you got it. You got to stand up. I know it's hard. Oh, Shelby company, company limited. Anybody, uh, anybody know what Shelby company limited is? Drop it in the comments.

Steve: We know what it is, but I love that.

Chris: You might win yourself. Absolutely nothing. That's exactly right. Tell them what they win. Mark. Nothing. You win.

Marc: Absolutely nothing.

Chris: All right. All right. All right. All right. Let's move on to television. Yager. This isn't the prices for Yarmir Yager. Yags return celebrates 68. Drop your comments. How did how did you feel about that? I'd like to see if he embarrasses me is what Amy May says. that never happens and you know yeah only embarrasses himself wrote it wrote it thinks i'm i'd look pretty good clean-shaven but i wrote it likes wrote it likes my beer you might you know i got a shave and i'm sorry if anybody on this planet has enough uh… Dirt on me and could hate me. It would be rhoda.

Marc: Okay. I don't think she's the only one You kind of have a blabber mouth.

Steve: I think a lot of people have dirt on you. Yeah, that's funny. Okay Can we get to this celebration? Can we talk about yags?

Chris: Yeah, sure. Sure. Okay, as everybody is familiar with but you know Celebrate 68 was yesterday. Jaromir Jagr comes back to Pittsburgh from Russia from Czechoslovakia.

Steve: What is your problem? That's what happens when you have a Ukrainian probably, probably when you probably when he joined the the penguins, it was still the Soviet Union.

Chris: No, no, no, no. That was when when did that happen? Eighty nine. Right. Eighty nine is when the block when the wall came down. Right.

Steve: I don't know. Amy was saying that. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris: Fantastic. Amy said. You can put the comments up. You know that there's a reason he wears. He told me not to last time. All right. Then don't. All right. Yeah. Yags looks fantastic. Yeah. Well, he's still playing hockey at 52. Yeah. I mean, you know, and he owns the team and a nice looking Russian girlfriend. T Melody on Instagram says it was an awesome ceremony. Younger. Hey, look, let's get into this here for a second. Let's do it. Yager. Now, me not being I know there's no Czech Republic anymore. So wax, we're just we're just dumb Americans. That's Belarus. Don't give us history lessons on. We're all over the place tonight. Yeah, it's just because we're having such a good time. Yager ceremony was awesome, says DG on his comments. Very moving when he thanked his parents and his mom broke down. Five scoring titles, four in a row, four in a row. Where is he in? And we're going to go right to Hockey Jesus for this. And then I want to hear Mark's take on the Grand Schwabini's take on this, too, because he's a big, big hockey fan. Where is he in the annals of hockey history? Not Penn's history. We'll get there. Hockey history. Yeah.

Marc: I mean, is he is he top ten? Oh, yeah, definitely top ten. Some argue top five, actually. Really? Yeah. I mean, it's it's so hard because there's so many different hockey eras. but definitely in the What I call the new era which is basically the gretzky era and and and further out right before that the game was kind of like mostly six teams and you know in the 16 era To me, I mean, all those Montreal teams that won like six Stanley Cups in a row, it's impossible to compete with them, right? And then, you know, Bobby Orr came about and put Boston on the map, right? But then after that, then you have the Gordie Howells and the Phil Esposito's of the world. You have that era, right? Didn't Phil Esposito play baseball?

Chris: There's a lot of it.

Steve: There's a lot of it.

Marc: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. In Boston, in Chicago.

Steve: Italians. Yeah.

Marc: Yeah. So, so I have to, I kind of have to set those guys aside. So, but, so I'm talking basically 1980 ish and beyond. Right. Right. So clearly you got Gretzky and Lemieux, right? Then it really gets fuzzy because after that, I think Yager belongs in the conversation soon after that. Because if you think about it, Yogs came in right after Gretzky and Lemieux were going at it back and forth, like better part of a decade, right? And then when he came on the scene, there was really nobody his equal. If you think about it, the reason he had so many scoring titles is because nobody could touch him. I mean, he was playing with Mario for some of those years, but remember, he retired and then he came back. And the pens were in such financial distress. I don't know. I think he's top five. I have him probably three or four. I mean, you know, you kind of put Bobby or up there and those guys, but if you kind of set those guys aside in the new era, I don't, I don't see how he can be really just behind Lemieux and, and, and, uh, Gretzky to be honest with you. What do you think, Mark?

Steve: Well, I don't know. I mean, I'd have to really think about it to put together. Just your gut reactions. I mean, I would say top 10. You know, top 10 for sure.

Marc: But I think I think you quickly you get to him like even after you start naming some of the some of the all time greats like right.

Steve: Yeah, but like Messier Messier could put in there put messy, you know, you could argue. And then if you're going goaltender, you could put per door in there.

Marc: I don't think you can say you're not saying goaltender is a hockey player because that they're their own category if you really think about it.

Steve: Right. I mean, think about, uh, like who's the best defenseman we've seen in our day, like Nicholas Lidstrom. Lidstrom would be up there, you know, maybe even, well, I wouldn't say he's that high, but like a pronger is kind of, yeah, right now. Now I think you're maybe top 20. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, he's, he's certainly there. I mean, he's, he was very good. I mean, to, to be honest, let's, you know, obviously Lemieux gets the lion's share of the, um, praise and rightly so. I mean, I believe he's the second best player to Gretzky of all time.

Marc: And I mean, you got guys like Phil with Bork, right? Yep, Ray Bork. Yeah, Ray Bork. But I mean, he didn't really win anything with Boston. He had to go out to Colorado to get his cup. So it's really difficult to say because, I mean, Yogg's got his Stanley Cups in his first two years, and then he didn't get anything after that, you know?

Steve: But I would say he was so critical to their success. I don't know that they win a Stanley Cup without him.

Chris: So yeah, I agree with so you you were talking this is interesting that you bring up the Messier Yogurt comparison because I've been hearing a lot about that in the last 24 hours when people were asked to compare So I've got their stats head-to-head here.

Steve: I'm sure that's are better.

Chris: Well, here it is in the playoffs Messier was 1 in 8 and What do you mean 1 in 8? Yeah, what is that 1 in 8? Never mind? I don't know what that one is

Steve: Well, it says, and it says Yager was 81. I don't know. I don't know. Is it a starting pitcher? Yes. He had a hell of a, he had a hell of a football. Messier played 1,808 games to Yager's 1,733.

Chris: So you kind of call that even. Yeah. 695 goals for Messier to 766. for Yags 1203 assists to 1155 1898 in points to Yags 1921 plus minus 322 for Yags 201 Points per game. How does it 217 points per game? I'm guessing I don't know what these stats mean to be honest with you, but it doesn't make any sense Yags isn't in the hall of fame yet. Well, Messier hasn't retired. Right. Officially, which is dumb. Yeah. It does say mess. Did Messier have six championships? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We had one with the Rangers, right? That was their first one in a long time. And then I guess the rest were with Edmonton and Yags had six. He had two heart trophies. Yags had one. Yags did have five Ross trophies. The cons might went to Messier once, not the Yags. All-star five times eight free eggs.

Steve: I mean, I would, I would, I would say I was putting him ahead of Yager just because I felt like he was more of a two way player.

Chris: Oh, this is head to head in the regular season. Yager head to head against Messier was 27, 14 and four. They're the teams, you know, and playoffs eight, eight and one, one in eight. That's why. Yeah. Dad. But that doesn't mean shit.

Steve: Cause yeah, Chris, Chris, the fletch. Yeah. You got it. You got to throw in.

Marc: He's got a good, he's got a very good list here. You got to throw in or Messier, Ovechkin, Yager. I would not put Ovechkin in front of Yager.

Chris: And here's why I think there'd be a lot of capitals fans that would disagree with you. Well, yeah, for sure.

Marc: And they should, because, because they're his, they're his best player. Look, Yager would be the best player on almost any other team, except for the Pittsburgh Penguins and potentially the Edmonton Oilers, right?

Chris: Wait a minute, guys. I was just trying to show the Coca-Cola can because we're doing a subliminal trying to get a sponsor thing, and I just popped a whole bunch of Coke out of it right on my face in the microphone. You're brilliant.

Marc: I made the point, and you're shooting Coca-Cola. So my point is, is that Ovechkin's a one trick pony. He scores a lot of goals, but he's second to Crosby in his era, right? So you have to put Crosby ahead of Ovechkin if you're going to do that.

Chris: There you go. Straight from the mouth of Hockey Jesus, who is a Penguins fan.

Marc: But I, I absolutely agree that a Vetchkin because he probably will eventually break, uh, Gretzky's goal record will be probably top five, six, uh, and all time.

Chris: So you don't put him in the top five yet.

Marc: Oh, no, I w I would, I would, I would put him behind a Crosby for sure.

Chris: Yeah. And, and CD says Yager liked to rant one, nothing without another start, but that see, that's the question. That's a question you really can't ask. Like would Yager and the team around him have won cups. If Mario was on a different team, we don't know that and vice versa, you know, and, and you and I were talking about this a little bit last night. It's like, you know, we can sit here and say, well, Mario without Yager, that he might not have won cups. He didn't. Well, that's true. Okay.

Marc: So you don't have to speculate on that. He didn't write it all.

Steve: So they were also building a team over time. Yeah.

Marc: I mean, he played with Sidney Crosby and he didn't win a cup. What? That was at the end of his career. He actually didn't even make the playoffs that year. Yeah, that was at the end of his career. That was that was Crosby's rookie year. And that was the only year he played with them. And then he retired. And then the penguins went on to win. Three cups, without Lemieux, with Crosby and Maldon. So I don't know. You're right. I mean, it's such a team game. You can't really say they won cups with one player. You just can't do it. If you think of those 90-91 teams, And most of the players were on the ice for for yoga there, which tells you what kind of human he is. They really, really liked the kid when he came up. But then he really turned into a man when you think about it, because over time, what did he say? Like he asked, basically he said he asked to be traded. You know, when he when he was traded out of Pittsburgh, everybody was so down on him because it was like, not only did he get traded, but he got traded to Washington. well washington continue to suck for a while in the end and he said there were there was a lot of reasons for that but he's he said he just didn't fit in the right system there right so so it really but i'm going back to the ninety you know the the teams of the early nineties late eighties that the penguin setup they had hall of famers up and down The whole lineup i mean yagur when he came in as a as a first round pick had to play on the fourth line with brian i thought that was amazing i mean in the thing that the thing that struck me the most when he said that was. He was thankful that the coach never send him down and he got to play the full year. Because he learned so much just by being even on the fourth line. He was disappointed he wasn't out there on the power play. He was disappointed that he couldn't be out there getting more minutes. But he learned so much just watching those great players. I thought that was really insightful. Not just to learn about how Jager learned the game. But for future stars in a league to think about that when they're playing on the fourth line, make the most of every minute. Be thankful for every shift you get and go out there and play your heart out because eventually you could be on the first or second line running the show.

Chris: Yeah. And another thing, he grew up on a farm, I guess, and his, I know his workout regimen was legendary. Um, but he started at a young age doing a thousand squats a day, like without weights, but, and, and I started picking up wheat. Yeah. And, and. And, uh, well, I started thinking to myself at this advanced age that I'm at right now, maybe I'll start doing squats. No way.

Marc: I think you need to, I think I'm going to get you a bucket of Hays. You can squat. Thanks. It could help.

Chris: It could help. Yeah. You think so. All right.

Marc: A thousand squats never hurt anybody.

Chris: That's why we're friends. You guys are always looking out for me. I really appreciate that.

Marc: So, yeah, I think I think it's just it was a great tribute. You know, the way it came about was really interesting to, you know, with Borky basically going over to Europe for a trip and he stopped by the seam and and he said, you know, hey, do you ever think about coming back to Pittsburgh? And he and Yager was basically like, they don't like me in Pittsburgh because he remembers when he would come back with the Flyers and get booed and the Rangers and get booed.

Chris: Well, that was more about the uniform.

Marc: He was right. And that's exactly what Borky said. He was like, no, dude, you're loved in Pittsburgh. Yes. Come back. Yes. And then that's when that's when they came up with the idea of retiring is his number. And it's just a great tribute to a kid who came into the league when literally we were just growing up in this in the same instance and just took the whole league by storm. I mean, he really did. And not only that, but then he went on to play for eight other teams in the in the next. Well, he became a mercenary at that point.

Steve: Yeah. But like everywhere he went, he's actually still pretty good. He was still very good, you know, late, late in his career.

Marc: And then he played for the KHL and then he played for his own team in Czechoslovakia. Yeah. I mean, he just, he's played the whole world. He's played the game of hockey in the whole world. If you think about it. Yeah. And he's still playing. And he's still playing, but I actually think they should just they should just put him in the hall of fame as soon as he announces his retirement. I don't know that he will be honest with you because he said he still loves to play the game.

Chris: Well, can't he announce his retirement and still play in Europe? No, he can't.

Steve: Really? No. Well, the whole thing, it's just stupid. It's stupid.

Marc: I mean, he's not going to play in the NHL. They should just put him up for a vote in the Hockey Hall of Fame. He'll get in first ballot and they should just immediately, you know, I think there's like a three year thing where you got to wait three years. He's waited long enough to be in the Hall of Fame. Just get it done.

Chris: Team Melody on Instagram says, I love the old 29er. That's Bork, right? The old two-niner. Yep. Yep. And Amy May, of course, did you see his young hot girlfriend, Amy? We see every young hot girlfriend.

Marc: He even made mention of her.

Steve: Yeah, he did. I thought that was actually a good one. A beautiful lady from mother to Russia.

Chris: Yeah. What is it with the mother?

Marc: Stop with the Russia.

Chris: Yeah. And if you're going to do it, get a better Russian accent. I mean, come on.

Steve: I don't see you trying one.

Marc: That's because he doesn't live in Russia.

Chris: I must break you. Yeah, see, that's pretty good.

Steve: That was good. I must break you. My name is Arkady.

Marc: You realize that the next Jersey they retire is probably going to be Sid or Gino's, right?

Chris: Well, there's been a lot of talk about that. And the first question I want to ask you, Hockey Jesus, about that is, Is there another jersey you think the Penguins should retire now that is not retired? No. Okay, that was easy. You should ask Mark that question. Mark, is there another jersey that the Penguins should retire that is not currently retired? I mean the jersey. Okay, who? Mark Racky. Okay. Wrecking Ball. The Wrecking Ball. I did love the Wrecking Ball.

Marc: Why not?

Chris: He was great. Was he on the Flyers before the Penguins? He actually didn't go back and forth.

Steve: The first four years were with the Penguins and then he went to the Flyers. But that didn't come back.

Marc: He was traded in the pocket deal that brought pocket to

Steve: He went back, he went back and forth. But he came back to the Penguins. Yeah, he did two stints with the Flyers. Gotcha. It was like 12 years, I think, with the Flyers.

Marc: He won a lot of cups.

Chris: I'll give you that. Why should Reckie be, why should Reckie, was he number eight? Yes. Yeah, man, I do know more about hockey than that. But why should he be, you know, why should his number be retired in Pittsburgh? I mean, he was a great player.

Steve: Because he's a Hall of Fame player. If you make the Hall of Fame, you should be on the team's Hall of Fame. What is it?

Marc: No, it's different. It's different than retiring a jersey. Well, it is on the team's Hall of Fame by making the hockey Hall of Fame.

Chris: Yeah, he's in the Penguins Hall of Fame.

Steve: Here's the slippery slope. So he is in the Penguins Hall of Fame. He just doesn't have his number.

Marc: The Penguins don't have a Hall of Fame. They're not stupid like a lot of other teams that create these Hall of Fame. You mean like the Steelers? recently did. You think that's dumb? Dude, they overdid it. They're letting everybody in. Oh, I understand. If they would just maybe take one name, they could go for 25 years before they would even get to the people who are going to be retiring from the Steelers now. Right. Okay. You know what I mean? They dumb it down by doing that. And this is the one thing I like about the Steelers. You used to like about the Steelers. I mean, the Steelers don't retire jerseys, right?

Steve: They just did the no fun zone.

Chris: No cheerleaders, no jerseys retired. Why the hell would you even want to go to a game? I don't even have a ring of honor.

Marc: I am going to mute you guys.

Steve: Maybe once in your 70-year life you can actually see one jersey retired. Yeah, it would not be nice. Isn't Pittsburgh fun? Yeah, it's incredible.

Marc: I think we should retire everybody who played really good. Everybody gets a retirement jersey. Yay, you get a retirement jersey. You get a retirement jersey. No, you get a retirement jersey.

Chris: T-Melody on Instagram says, the Steelers in the 70s, seriously? They all belong there. Yeah, I mean, I'm with you.

Marc: And that's the same thing with the Penguins in the 90s. Like, if you do Recce, then you got to do Trotier, who already has his jersey retired with another team. Then you have to go and you have to do Francis. Then you have to do the goalies. You probably got to do Brasso now that he's in the Hall of Fame. You have to do, it goes on and on and on and on and it'll never end.

Steve: Well see, now, okay, so that's an interesting point then. So then I propose. You save it for the elite. So I propose this to you then. Okay. Okay. So if you go that route, then I say you don't retire Evgeny Malkin.

Marc: Well, I'm I'm I'm not. I don't think he's rock solid in. I think he should be.

Steve: I think they talk about him way too much. Like it's like, you know, like it was like it was like, you know, Lemieux and Yager and and, you know, Crosby and Malkin, the the only Malkin kind of sucks for right now.

Chris: No, no, no, no, no. Last couple of years.

Steve: No, he was very, very good. He tore it up six, seven years. He tore it up. I don't know. I'm I've never been impressed with him.

Marc: I'm a little bit more on Mark's side on this one, but you have to remember, when Sid would get injured, he would take over the team. When he was rock solid.

Steve: There was a time when he was great.

Chris: Let's go down here. Malkin's stats, 1,115 games played as of the stats on the Penguins website right now. 487 goals, 783 assists, 1,270 points at a plus 48. I mean, and he's got, he's on a team, three cups, two of them back to back. And he won an MVP and he won an MVP. He never won a scoring title. Did he? He did not. Okay. But he got close a couple of times, right? He was chasing a bunch. No, not really. Okay.

Steve: But if we're going, it's for special players. Elite. Elite players, then I say no.

Marc: You can argue that a hockey player who has won an MVP and has three cups is an elite player. You could argue it. I would still say he's second behind Sid for sure. So if you're going to do it in order, you have to do Sid before you do Geno.

Steve: I do LeTang before I do Geno.

Marc: Well, so now you're starting to me. It's like when you go latang, now you got to go flurry. And if you got to go flurry, you might as well go Francis and you might as well go recce.

Steve: You know, just because latang plays defense though. I mean, like he's not going to have the goals and the assist.

Marc: So Gonchar was really good. The only thing you could say for latang was he played his whole career in Pittsburgh and was their number one defenseman of all time. But he never won a Norris trophy. So it's like, where do you go? He never won an MVP. I think it's a tough one. I think if you're talking about elite, right, if you're talking about being at the very top of your team, he was probably there as a defenseman. But would he be in the top 100 of all time NHL players? Maybe at the top of it, maybe like in the nineties. Yeah.

Chris: Well, I think if you are, are an essential part of a team that wins three world championships, three Stanley cups, and by essential part, I'm talking about the big three Crosby Latang, And Malkin, the other guy, Malkin, Gino. Yeah, Gino, the Italian. He's not Italian. Mother Russia. Yes. Mother Russia. Is he Russian? He's a Russia. Okay. He's from Mother Russia. I am score. I must break you.

Marc: All right. Wait, can you put up the picture I sent you?

Chris: Yeah, I will. I'm getting to that here. I just want to say, you know, Amy says Matthew gets dumb penalties. He does. Barrasso.

Marc: Once you go in the Barrasso, then you got to go down that path.

Chris: Let's look at this historic picture that Hockey Jesus wanted me to pick.

Marc: Everyone take a look at this picture and study it. 10 seconds.

Chris: Well, the first thing I thought of was that looks like two hockey players, a guy that's had too much plastic surgery. You got some and and Hermann Munster. Can you pick out Hermann Munster? Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster.

Steve: Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster.

Chris: Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster.

Steve: Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster.

Chris: Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Hermann Munster. Herm Tommy is on Instagram.

Marc: Yeah, he's not getting his jersey retired in Pittsburgh.

Chris: He was not liked here. He had a pretty nasty reputation.

Marc: Yeah, no, he's like Barry Bonds. He's the Barry Bonds of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Chris: Just without steroids. Well, you don't know that. Yeah. OK, so what my thoughts were, plastic hockey, two hockey players, plastic surgery and Herman Munster.

Marc: Answer me this. If you saw these four guys walking down the street, would you think, A, they just walked out of a gym? B, they just walked out of a library. C, they just walked out of a laboratory somewhere and are not real people.

Chris: Pick your own. That's too many. I already told you what I thought.

Steve: Actually, I think it's four guys walking out of an engineering firm.

Marc: Engineering firm.

Steve: Yeah. They just came out of work. It's five o'clock. They're going to go to the local group club. Well, that's the thing about hockey players. I think one of the reasons why I think people do love hockey players is because they are pretty indistinguishable from the regular person on the street. I don't know, man. Look at these guys.

Marc: They look like the biggest bunch of nerds.

Steve: Look at these guys. It's not like there's like there's no seven footers like in the NBA. Well, there's no gigantic frickin guns like in the NFL.

Chris: No, but you did legs. I mean, joggers got huge legs.

Steve: Well, yeah, they do. They all have huge legs. But who's looking at their legs? Yeah.

Marc: And you got a huge backside.

Chris: Yeah, right. Right. Right. Apparently, hockey Jesus is looking at the backsides. I would say that Mario looks like he's had a little work done. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Marc: He's taking care of himself, though. I mean, you know, I don't like that. No, no potbelly on him. He's still got his hair.

Steve: Let's go. Well, it's thinning though. You know who needs a plastic surgery is of Gennie Malkin. I mean, that, that is not a good looking man.

Chris: No, that's like never has been, never will be. That's that. Like I said, that's Herman Munster. They all got smoking hot wives. Who's the, uh, well, I mean, they also have smoking hot bank accounts, so.

Steve: Right.

Chris: I mean, not that not that that's what women look for at all.

Steve: Correct. Correct. But yeah, I mean, let's face it. I mean, if Gennie Malkin didn't play hockey, he may still be single and still be at the engineering.

Chris: great engineering firm was exactly a law firm that just bought a box at the arena. I'll tell you what though that is it in all honesty that's a great picture i mean as as a pittsburgh fan is a penguins fan to have four guys up there with that pedigree i mean you look at you look at you. probably the greatest hockey player of all time, especially if you're a Pittsburgh person, you most likely you believe that. Crosby, who used to be Sid the Kid, mentored. Look at him now, still playing at a high level at 36. Malkin, unfortunately, it seems like he's finally kind of hit that wall, but great player. And, of course, Jaromir Jagr. I mean, it just doesn't get any better than that. That should be a poster. Yeah, that reminds me of Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Penguins. That's exactly right. And that reminds me of the posse. the Redskins, you know, Sanders, Clark and Monk, although they, I love the way this guy brings it back to the Redskins.

Steve: How many times am I going to have to say, how could they fire North Turner when they were six and two back in, uh, 84.

Chris: Now I don't have to, now I don't have to say that.

Steve: I think that was 90.

Chris: I think that was 99. It was 99. They were six and two. Anyway. It's been downhill ever since. All right. All right. Let's bring that. Anything more you want to say about these four Jablonkis?

Marc: Clearly, you're talking about four Hall of Famers. Oh, absolutely. But I just am struck by how normal they look.

Steve: Go ahead. So Steve, now it was a really nice ceremony. I didn't catch a lot of it, but my wife was watching it. Thank you, Amy. He seems like a good guy. would've been really nice to cap it off with a victory. What happened in the game?

Marc: Well, in the game it was really pretty simple. They came out in the first period and Sidney Crosby actually shot a one-time pass on a power play from Malkin and guess where it went? in the back of the net, the back of the net, not the side of the net, not off a crossbar. It went into the net. And then guess what they decided to do? They thought one goal was enough. So clearly they don't listen to the Hockey Jesus.

Chris: That's right. And I'm going to bring that up right now. So we're just going to go right to this right now. This is Hockey Jesus down here. Hockey Jesus preaches on the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. spotify or anywhere you get your friggin podcasts after every single hockey game and He has started doing a video podcast on youtube the sports sports youtube. I'm telling you guys while you're watching the show Uh team elodia says ron francis was there too. I didn't know that While you guys are watching the show right now, take a minute, go over to YouTube, subscribe to the Sports Porch on YouTube. We're going to be pushing a lot of content out there. Hockey Jesus is taking the reins, and he's going to be his own producer and technical director on this. I love what you did last night, your first show. It actually came off really, really great. Excellent effort. A premiere.

Steve: Everybody's talking about it.

Chris: And he's going to YouTube later. I've been getting, I've been getting emails like crazy. And, uh, so, uh, preach hockey, Jesus, we'll go, we'll go there and then we'll move on to a little Steelers, Buccos.

Marc: So after the one time power play, they went one for two in the first period. They just said, nah, we're not going to play the rest of the game. And they actually held on for most of the game, which is just frankly shocking. They, they went a full period and then about 10 minutes. And then with about 10 minutes left, uh, finally the King said, nah, we can score. And they slappered it one past, uh, Jerry slappered it is slappered a word.

Chris: Sure. There was another word you said earlier that I thought I wrote down.

Marc: After that went in, then it's like, okay, the penguins are going to get a power play now. Things are going to be good. Everything's going to be fine. excuse me except when Lars Eller decides to drop a pass at the blue line and They in Kempe grabs it goes down the ice and scores a shorthanded goal Which the Flyers are actually very good at but it turns out so are the loss. Yeah, like they're the second best Yeah, the second best Yeah. And you know why? Because they play their superstars on the penalty.

Steve: You know, you're right. And you're right about that. All the good teams, um, do play, do plays on the penalty kill.

Marc: Connect me plays on the penalty kill Kempe and, um, and, um, the other guy that plays for the Kings, who's a superstar, he, they play on the penalty kill. They all play on the penalty kill but not Sid. Sid gets to sit on the bench. And that's something that the new coach, when they hire him, has to change.

Chris: Oh, so you're a little down on Sully?

Marc: Well, I don't remember who was hot, hot wax, uh, 69 or whoever on the soul wax.

Chris: Yeah.

Marc: Yeah. So wax said it all. You're just going to have to, you're just going to have to set this team on fire and start from new.

Chris: Yeah. I think, uh, I heard somebody talking today. Uh, they were talking about the Carlson trade and that we were oversold on the effect that would have on the power play. Do you think we were oversold?

Marc: No, no, I don't think they know how to use him on the power play. In fact, I don't think they know how to run a power play. Actually, the reality is the Flyers are worse on the power play than they are, and they still are like 11 points ahead of us. So that just shows you how bad the Penguins are.

Steve: Here's an interesting question for the Hockey Jesus. Is Mike Sullivan a good coach? You mean still? No, because what I'm going to say is didn't he win back backups? Yes. But was he more or less just a benefactor of T a team with some really great players playing in their prime? Okay. Maybe a good decision or two, you know, go into the other goaltender Murray, you know what I mean? Instead of flurry, let's say, but they both played. Is he a good coach? I mean, because at this point, you know, now that the players aren't as good as they once were, you know, it's a continual lose in the first round of the playoffs. And then ultimately you finally make miss the playoffs. Yeah. This year it looks like it's going to be borderline or is he just run his course here? What do you, what do you think?

Marc: Well, I think, I think all, uh, teams that have won back to back cups and you know, three cups in what, eight years. The coach has to be good, right? He's not a bad coach. But the first was with Bilesma. It was a half year. So Bilesma took him to the Stanley Cup finals the year before and they lost to Detroit the year before. Then they came out, they soiled the bed, they looked terrible, and they said, this coach is running his course. And it's always about the players, right? If the players come to the management and they say, we don't trust in this guy anymore, this guy's lost us, and they can see it. They'll make a change. And that's the thing. That's the thing that always that's the thing that always keeps coaches around. The players say, no, we believe in him. We like his system. And they wouldn't want somebody else to come in. And if they do, that usually means you're going to break up the team because a new coach is going to have to bring in new players because they're not going to buy into a new system.

Steve: Right. I think Chris the Fletch is making my point.

Chris: Yeah, he said, Mark, are you saying Sully is Tomlin benefiting from prior leadership?

Marc: No, and that's absolutely false. Yeah, I agree with Steve. Just because they won the cup in 16 and 17, their first cup they won in 2010. I mean, 2009. Yeah. 2009. So that's a long time. Well, that was a long time. That's true. And he definitely had that team at that point. And remember, when Sully first, here's what Sully I think has lost. When, when he came up, you know what he did? He brought all the young guys with him from Wilkes-Barre and that's what allowed them to win the cup. They, they had Colby Armstrong on there. They had Malone up there. They had all these young talent and you know, they had superstars, right. And they had a really good goal. He's been playing in the league for a while and they, they had Crosby and they had Malkin. And then they just surrounded them with really young talent that knew how to score goals also. I mean, they hit the lottery the next year, the year they won the cup, with Jordan Stahl. You know, everybody forgets that Stahl was on both of those teams.

Steve: So is it more poor GMing than Sully?

Marc: No, I think, honestly, I believe that COVID killed the Penguins. When, when Rutherford left in a hurry, he left the vacuum that they're still trying to replace three years later. And they've done it with two GMs. Now they're probably going to do it with the new head coach and they still haven't figured it out. And that's the problem. They keep scrambling to say, we can just, we can, we can plug the leak here and we can plug the leak here. And they've run out of fingers already. There are just so many leaks on this team. At some point, you got to blow up the dam and build another one.

Chris: OK, last comment from Instagram. Team Elodia says, should they trade Jake? I say no. And then we're going to move on to some other stuff.

Marc: So I may not be able to. Yeah. Well, I think they will, because he really only has a broken pinky finger. So it's not like he tore a ligament or something. So he'll be back. And it's a broken it's a broken bone. So those heal quickly. And when he comes back, he'll be in he's skating. So he'll be in good shape. do i think they should trade him it depends on what they do with that money if they go out and get another winger that's just going to play with sid what's the point you already know that that that genzel can play with fills that role right if they're going to blow up the team and that means they're also going to get rid of raquel and they're going to carter's gone next year and maybe if they decide to use some of that money to sign peterson to keep him and still have to go get wingers. This team needs scoring. It doesn't need to lose more scores. It needs to gain more scores. And here's the other thing. What are they going to get in return? Probably somebody young who can play soon. Who knows when Sully's going to play him? They're going to get draft picks. We've already shown that Sully doesn't like to play the guys that are down there with Pullen and Nylander. Do you really trust Sully to start a rebuild whenever you trade him? If they think that they are still close, which I don't think they are anymore, and they need to get more scoring, why get rid of Jake at this point? It doesn't make sense. And by the way, they probably already know what the number is to sign him. My guess is they already know they can sign him, so they're not going to trade him. But if they do trade him, then it'll it'll be because he wanted he won a nine or 10 million on the open market and he'll get it.

Steve: Little side note, by the way, did you see the unbelievable Rangers win the other day?

Marc: I saw it was 6-5, but I was too busy watching the Yogurt show.

Steve: Well, this was the exciting part. They did it in the last two minutes with two empty net goals.

Marc: Oh, did they?

Steve: Two empty net goals, and then they won it like immediately into overtime.

Marc: Well, it helps the Penguins think that they're still in it. Yeah. Well, because they beat the islanders. Well, the islanders get a loser point, right? So that loser point's really killing them because the Flyers got a loser point and the Islanders get a lose. All they have to do is get loser points at this point, and they'll be OK.

Chris: OK, guys, now that's it for the Hockey Jesus. Thank you, Hockey Jesus. You can listen to him.

Steve: Maybe the longest Hockey Jesus segment of all time.

Chris: Well, you know, he deserves it. He worked hard for it. The Hockey Jesus preaches on the podcast. on the ir radio app apple podcast spotify or anywhere you get your freaking podcasts after every single penguins game and we drop this podcast right after the show at the same place iheart radio app apple pod spotify anywhere you get your podcasts um i'm just i'm just seeing this uh t melodia on instagram says no one cares about the filthy criers

Marc: Yeah, I know. I put that up. Filthy Criers. I love that. That's my favorite statement ever.

Chris: The Filthy Criers. I never saw that. She gets a gold star for that one. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. He or she or whatever it is. Whatever your pronouns are, thank you. We try to stay away from pronouns on this show.

Marc: You know, come see me tomorrow on YouTube. That's right.

Chris: Tomorrow night, the SportsPort YouTube. Subscribe right now. Head over there, please. We'd really appreciate that. And of course, subscribe to the podcast anywhere you get your podcast. I do want to just a quick couple Steelers things here. Will Justin Fields end up in a Steelers uni?

Steve: Now, remember, I had sent out to you guys like that. The odds of him being on the Steelers were currently higher than the odds of him returning to the Bears. Now, I still think it's unlikely.

Chris: Thanks, DG, for that. Yes, we are the Black and Gold Sports Porch. There's somebody else that started a sports porch called the Real Sports Porch. They can go screw themselves.

Steve: All right.

Chris: Anyway, thanks for putting that up, DG. Black and Gold Sports Porch, baby. Black and Gold. Actually, I'll put the link up for the YouTube Sports Porch here in the comments, and you guys can just click on it, subscribe. Go ahead, buddy. You were doing a Justin Fields thing?

Steve: Yeah, I already said it.

Marc: Yeah. I love the fact that that Justin Fields has a better chance of being here as opposed to staying in Chicago. But I don't think that's going to happen. Probably not. Maybe it's just a it's a it's a it's a play to get people to put more money on him coming to this dealer.

Steve: I don't know. I don't know, though. I mean, it certainly does doesn't have a feel, though, that there's a recognition that the Steelers believe that they don't have the guy right now.

Marc: I think everybody believes that. their actions are proving otherwise. Well, yeah, they're they've already said they're they're not bringing back Mitch, which means they have only one quarterback on the roster now, literally one right. And that's big Ken. And that's it. So they're basically they're they're saying that we believe in Ken and we don't want a competition. And we're not even thinking about going out and getting anybody. I think it's media who's pushing this narrative that Tomlin loves Justin Fields, and maybe he does, but I've never heard him say it. Have you heard him ever say anything about Justin Fields? No. No, never. So I just think that that's the match. That's the script that the NFL wants to write.

Chris: You know, I I've heard an awful lot of chatter out there that mike tomlin really really does like justin fields Um, of course i'm not, you know, like when justin fields was at the combine At the senior bowl tomlin spent a lot of time with him um What I think is is interesting is and I go back to this when they drafted kenny pickett all the talk was how much mike tomlin liked malik willis there was that was a smoke screen we know that now hindsight sometimes is 2020 so although not necessarily for all we know they had them graded right next to each other and they just decided to go with kenny it's possible you know it's possible but the thing about it is that I think it's too early. And because football is over and the Steelers obviously have an issue at quarterback, you know, now the speculation starts. So in being realistic and looking at this, the Steelers have a hole at quarterback. They just, and I get it like, like Steve's point, Steve's point about the Steelers organization and how they operate is spot on. Um, and the loyalty thing, uh, and the defense thing. And, but, but I, I go back to the fact that for the better part of two decades, not a single person in the Steelers front office had to even think about a quarterback because they had their franchise guy. Yeah. And I think that there was very little foresight put into what if and the what ifs when you have a guy like Ben Roethlisberger and let's say he's played in the league eight years. All right. So that's that's starting to get on a long time for a starting quarterback. you need to have a contingency plan in place, no matter what, like, how are we going to handle the exit? Because he could have left through free agency. He could have just retired like Andrew Luck. You know, he could have just ended up being dirt for the last 10 years of his career instead of just like the last two or three in which he wasn't really horrible. He was just a little bit better than average. Well, he was running Canada's offense too. Right, right. So i go back to that and and so i'm looking at this insane as the steel is going to the off season i think there's a greater and greater chance that they do replace kenny pickett or try to replace kenny pickett and i think it would be a good thing if they did bring in a guy like justin fields not. You know this whole notion about bringing in ryan tannahill to mentor him because he was with arthur smith That's what mitch was supposed to do. Yeah, that's exactly right number one There's also a little bit of russell wilson. Yeah, they talk about russell wilson, too I i'm just saying we're doing all this speculating because we're as steelers fans in pittsburgh You know, they're the franchise. They're the franchise So we want we want we want to know and I think we just have to kind of give it a break and let the season cut let the offseason play out the combines coming up you know guys that are that are supposedly going to be drafted in the first round some of them may fall some of them may rise who knows what chicago ultimately decides i mean the guy the guy was was improving in chicago basically they got him a receiver and next thing you know You know, DJ Moore comes online, they get him a receiver. He looks better. So, you know, I, I, my personal jury is, is completely, is completely, is completely out. Uh, Jeff G says no Russell Wilson, please. I happen to agree. Um, DG says, uh, I read Dulac saying the Steelers hope to re-sign Rudolph for a bargain to use as backup competition. Uh, they're not too interested in bringing in another expensive veteran. yeah i can't i can't i can't say i know anything about that or not can't buy a franchise qb in pittsburgh right because they don't want to spend the money they're they gotta spend it on their defense yeah which which was uh not you know not the best team melodia says the chief is rolling over in his grave. Indeed, Melodia. Okay, next up here, real quick, for those of you who enjoyed the Pirate and the Buccos report last year, it will be coming back next year. I'm going to do a spring training preview. Now that the spring training games are starting, we kind of know they brought in some mediocre pitchers.

Steve: You're going to have to do a lot of research to learn who's on the team.

Marc: I want to know how fat the first baseman is.

Chris: Rowdy Tellez? Let's just say he's fatter than me. I know that for sure. I want to know height, weight, and belly size. Now there are some guys out there that are not signed and they brought up these names and some of them are ridiculous. Like one of the names they brought up was Cody Bellinger isn't signed and I laughed. because there's no way in hell the pirates are signing cody bellinger just ain't happening there's another pitcher um jordan montgomery is available like snell he yeah he used to pitch for us blake snell didn't he no i don't think san diego is where he was he won a cy young with I can't remember. Um, but the point is these aren't the kinds of guys that the pirates bring in because they're going to, they're going to require too much money. So we're going to have my, uh, preseason money. Yeah, money, uh, preseason spectacular is coming up. I can't wait to see that. We're going to move on to our fun segments tonight. Uh, before we do that, I want to remind you, you're watching the sports sports Pittsburgh all over the world on Facebook, Instagram, X, Twitter, uh, YouTube, and LinkedIn. And I dropped the podcast right after the show, anywhere you get your podcasts and please subscribe and leave us a review. Hockey Jesus is on YouTube now. Love it. I put the link for the youtube channel in the comments. So please subscribe would love to love to just build that channel up um first segment here that we we just love to do tonight is uh something we call what we're watching and uh Should be pretty obvious, but i'm going to explain it to you. If this is your first time here It is what we are watching what we are streaming. Um, look we grew up in the antenna tv age Gravity or three stations. Then it moved. Yeah, we went from like black and white from like three stations, black and white to like remember the cable boxes that you had to punch the numbers on. We had one with a dial. Did you? Nice. Nice. Yeah. Ours was the punch. Dink, dink. And if I pushed two buttons down halfway, I could get HBO and watch the late night titty movies. Oh, yeah. You figured that one out right away. Yeah. I figured that out. Yeah. How can I get this? Yeah. They didn't have skin of Mac back then, but they, they had, you know, HBO, it came on pretty quick downstairs at 2.00 AM on our black and white TV and banging on there. And then I'd see like, yeah, like Alice's on your finger, like a nude. Yeah.

Marc: Yeah. Team Melody. I think she was like, what are you doing? Why are you waking up with Melody?

Steve: You feel uncomfortable.

Chris: No, she said 10 stars. A plus. A plus, plus, plus. Thank you. Thank you. So what are we watching now? Since there's millions and millions of things and we are, we fancy ourselves a connoisseur. Yeah. 2, 4, 11, and 13. Don't forget 22 and 53. Or the channels. These are a couple of things that we've been watching or streaming. We talk about them, we tell you whether we like them or not, we joke about it, we make fun of each other. I am going to start with, who should I start with tonight? I'm going to start with the Grand Schwab Beanie tonight. The Grand Schwab Beanie, this is something I have not seen anything about, so I'm going to put that up there. What is that? Sabura, Blood on Rome. Oh, you told me this is kind of like Gamora.

Steve: Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is actually, this is all Schwab. It was a, the directors of Gamora made a movie called Sabura. Okay. And then after the movie, which by the way, I haven't seen the movie yet. All right, Sabura is three seasons and now they just recently started a spin-off which is a complete continuation of it called Subaru retainer or something like that and that's too much Italian and you have to read the sub And so basically, so basically it's in its fourth season right now. Okay. Wow. And it's really good. I mean, you know me, I, I'm just, uh, let me see drama.

Marc: Uh, somebody gets their head chopped off. These guys got to track them down.

Chris: It's, it's real Italian mafia. I mean, it's real Italian mafia drugs, all Schwab's favorite things. And his favorite food is Italian food, so I think he just wants the Italian.

Steve: This one is a little different. Think of it more because it takes on a little bit more of a political angle. And it also looks a lot at, you know, the seediness, the dark side of the Vatican. And it's kind of neat in the way it sort of starts out. It's kind of like there's the Vatican. It's kind of like there's three guys, like one is a cop son. One is, um, of a particular crime family. And he's sort of like, uh, the bastard child of the crime family. And then another is, um, sort of like, uh, kind of like in, I guess somebody who's not really thought of very highly in another crime family. And the three of them sort of find themselves in a position to where they've fallen upon this situation to where if they work together, they could grab some power. And so it kind of starts out that way.

Marc: In the Vatican or not in the Vatican?

Steve: Well, the thing deals with a priest. So basically, it's like you get kind of three unlikely friends coming together.

Marc: I'm going to watch this with Max and he can show me all the bars he hit in all the videos.

Steve: No, it's good. I really like it. It's really good. Um, it's definitely it's if it's one, if you'd like to go more, you will like it. Did you watch louder milk? No. Yes. I'm watching it right now.

Chris: I'm watching it right now. I'm not a fan. I don't really like it. I love it, man.

Steve: I'm in the second season. I think it's really good.

Chris: Well, let's put it this way. I'm in the first episode and you're in the first episode.

Steve: You're going to say that you don't like it. I know. I know. I will tell you this. It does grow on you. Right. Does grow on.

Chris: That's what I was going to say. I started watching it with my lovely wife and she just kind of decided hit a little too close to home that that's, That's hilarious. I don't even know what this is about.

Steve: Yeah.

Chris: Yeah. Well, it's about, it's about an, you know, a guy in a, I'm totally, I'm totally comfortable about talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 14 years, 50, 15. That's pretty good. 15 years. Absolutely.

Marc: I didn't have a drink this weekend. Yeah. Well, hey, you're on your way.

Chris: That's like 14 years. Get your 15 year chip. Yeah. Easy does it motherfucker. One day at a time. Uh, no, I don't, I don't get the chips. I just, I just go to the meetings and, and, uh, so it doesn't, You eat a lot of chips. So here's, I eat a lot of things. I eat a lot of things. More squats. So here's here. I'm going to, let me take the Suburra thing down and we'll move on. So what I have to say about louder milk is this as, as a recovering alcoholic, um, which is a serious subject, so I don't want to joke too much about it, but, um, I, I watched that show and it's about a guy who is, he's, he's, he runs an AA meeting and, um, It's just, it's just, it's not realistic. The way, the way he runs the meetings, I've never met any, well, to somebody who goes to meetings and has experienced that, like the humor around it, to me, it's not offensive at all, but I'm kind of like, it's not really funny. Like there could be a way to do it funny. And so I think I just get into it.

Steve: Well, what happens when you, when you get. When you get to the end of the first season, beginning of the second season, you begin to love all the characters that are in the group. It gets really funny.

Chris: That's where I'm going. The first thing I thought about him was, he's a very resentful, uh, recovering alcoholic. And usually, usually when you, when you're either in narcotics anonymous, you know, which is this very similar program, you know, the resentment is the first thing you let go. And if you haven't been able to let go of the resentment, then you're not going to end up leading the meetings. That's just the way it works. You're probably still going to be drinking. Yeah. Somehow he's in control. So that's, that's what turned it off for me. What kind of coffee do you want? Um, yeah. Yeah, and Amy May says, I should really be proud of myself. That's something that I am not, Amy, but I am grateful. Let's put it that way. Very grateful. So moving on, what we are watching, I'm going to go to Hockey Jesus next. This is kind of a repeat because I think, Schwaber, you were watching this. Oh, yeah. And here it is. There it is. The Leftovers.

Marc: I did start watching this because Mark said, hey, you got to check this out. It's only three seasons. You know, I was in the in the middle and doing nothing and I started putting it on and I can't turn it off Yeah, you can't like literally it's it's it's I can't believe how old it is. I know. Yeah, how old is it? I think it was like 2013 or something maybe like 2014 or 2017 or something.

Chris: You know what I might have seen it on the on the menu for hbo Max and like saw the years and then yeah, you turn.

Steve: But you know what? Actually, if you watch it, it doesn't it's not doesn't seem older. No, it doesn't. It seems like it could have been made now. Yeah, gotcha.

Marc: And essentially the premise of the story is an event happens on October 14th where people just disappear, like three percent of the world's population just disappear.

Chris: Yeah. Like they don't find the bodies. They're just like you wake up and your husband's gone. Right. And you may or may not be thrilled.

Marc: Or in the case of one guy, he's having sex with somebody and she disappears. Oh, wow.

Chris: That happened to me. Oh, no, that was, I think I was drunk.

Marc: I'm sure she, she'd never reappeared again.

Chris: And that's on this team. You know what? I feel like I'm at a meeting right now. I'm sharing.

Marc: I'm sharing. This event happens, right? And some families, they don't lose anybody. Another family, they lose everybody. There's only one person left. And it's really wild how they're trying to cope with it, and they're dealing with it. It's kind of like a 9-11 event where they want to be respectful of it. but yet they know the people are still struggling with it and like there's these groups that basically all they do is wear white they don't speak and they just show up at people's house and i'll be standing outside your house smoking cigarettes not saying anything right they're not saying anything and they just show up at your house and they're just basically staring at you the whole time And they're like, get off of my property. What the hell is wrong with you? And, and, and, and like, they, they're like a cult, right? And they dealt with it by not remembering anything. They're like, don't, don't remember anything. Like just, just forget about your past and leave everything. And like one of the guys was leads him and it's really wild at the dynamics between it all. And like the first season and the second season, they're connected, but they're, they're really kind of different. Yeah, they are. Yeah. And it starts to get into like this what happens after death thing. And I'm not through the third, not through the third season yet. I just started the third season this past weekend. So I can't wait to see how it wraps up.

Chris: Interesting. Interesting. Okay. So, um, Instagram has kind of kicked us off for a minute because we are, we are going to love succession. We are, uh, I'm, I'm just going to fire Instagram back up real quick here, guys. Um, So if you guys are watching on all the other channels, I'm getting the Instagram key back in here so I can get us back live on Instagram. Okay. Next. Um, okay. So the leftovers guys, I will watch it. I guaranteed I'll watch it. You talk so much about it. Well, I want to be able to either debunk or not debunk your claim that it is me all the way. And I believe you that it probably is. Um, All right. What am I watching? I have actually just finished. Actually, my wife and I watched it the other night. It's a documentary. It's called Lover, Stalker, Killer. And this looks good. This kind of hit home with me.

Steve: This kind of makes sense that the two of you would watch it together. Perfect Valentine's Day.

Chris: it's valentine's day what do you want to watch i think i want to watch lover stalker we we were holding hands we were we were holding hands and then each of us had a knife in the other hand now um it's called lover stalker killer and it is on uh netflix um and i did not i did not put this up Hold on a second, guys. We were throwing the show together so quick tonight. Lover, stalker, killer.

Steve: I don't think anybody's really going to have their evening thrown off if it's not in a banner.

Chris: Yeah, well, I will because I am a flawed perfectionist. So this is basically about a guy who gets a divorce. He has a couple of young kids. He moves like a state away, but like right across the line in the Midwest somewhere. Wait, you said this is a documentary. So this really happened? This really happened, yeah. So that's the point of a documentary, Hockey Jesus.

Steve: I just figured. So let me take a, let me take a stab at this. Nice. So there's, there's, there's love. Yeah. Um, turns into a little, you know, things aren't quite right. One of them starts stalking and then stalker turns killer cause he's upset with the one who tells him to stop stalking. Okay.

Chris: So is that it? So that's, that's, that's very pedestrian of you. And that's it. And it's not. It is. And it's not because you use the pronoun he. Oh, it's actually the pronoun she.

Steve: So the big surprise is it's backward. Yeah. I'm hoping normally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So.

Chris: So let me get on with it here. He moves to another state, he's in his, I don't know, mid-30s. A couple of years go by, he's trying to raise his kids, seeing his kids here and there on the weekends and all that. He gets on a dating app, he finds a girl, they get together, they date for a while. He's very clear with her that, look, I don't want to be tied down to anything, and she's like, it's cool, they're having a great time. He happens to meet another woman who comes into his work. Not good. She comes over to his house while he's there. The other girl shows up because she says, I left something at your place. Who's that woman? And then all of a sudden, the woman he met at work leaves. and then she starts sending him texts saying, you know, uh, you've, you've totally fucked up my life. I'm going to kill you, all this kind of stuff. And then, then she like, supposedly she burns down the first girlfriend's house, but she's disappeared worse than a rabbit boiling. Well, it goes on for years and years and years. And then they find out at the end, there's a twist and I'm not going to tell you the twist because I don't want to ruin, ruin it for the people who might actually watch it.

Steve: You could ruin it for me. I feel like I've seen it.

Chris: Yeah. This is ridiculous.

Steve: You know, if you watch this show at all, you know, when they walk into a room and they see a dead body, they call the police. Yeah.

Chris: But you didn't do that, did you? Here's Jerry Seinfeld. What about the stalking? You know, here you go. DG says he's watching.

Steve: Truth is talking, really just saying hello.

Chris: True Detectives, Night Country. It's been all right so far, but not as good as the previous True Detectives. These Jodie Foster 10 show series. All right. So, DG, the thing about True Detectives, and I am watching that right now, and I'll talk about it at a later… I haven't started season two.

Steve: I'm only one… Yeah, I'm only one episode in.

Chris: I'll tell you what, season… Oh, of season three. Season one was awesome. Season one was incredible. Season 2 was half decent. Season 3 was better. Yeah, this one is, I like it, but you know what I find? I find right now that Jodie Foster seems to be channeling an older Clarice Starling. Oh, yeah. Can you pick that up in there a little bit, Schwaber? Well, I've only watched one episode.

Marc: Wait, this one's in Alaska, right? The third one? It is in Alaska, yes.

Steve: I find Jodie Foster, for whatever reason, great, great actor, but I find her just be very unappealing.

Chris: Yeah, well, um, she's in her 60s. I like Jodie Foster. So, I mean, she's not as appealing as she was when she was in her 20s. Not to insult any of you fine looking 60 year old ladies out there. That's our whole audience. You're all very, very attractive. So anyway, lover, stalker, killer on Netflix. Let's see. Next segment up for bid on the sports porch is something that we really love. We get a laugh out of headlines. It means something. Hey, listen, you got 500 million news apps out there and we all have our favorites and three of us have some unique favorites between us. And once in a while a headline, and sometimes we'll go out to the funny sites and look for a funny headline, and once in a while a headline on a regular site will just grab you and you'll be like, that is ridiculous. So that's what we do. I'm going to go back to the Grand Schwab Beanie. I'm just going to put the headline up.

Steve: Here it is.

Chris: Schwab Beanie's headline that means something.

Steve: The diaper spa denied permit to operate in New Hampshire town. So I'm sure some of you are saying, well, what is a diaper spa?

Marc: Yeah, this was the one I wanted.

Steve: The spa part is what gets so.

Chris: So what do they do with the. Do they rub you down with.

Steve: So in Atkinson, New Hampshire, a diaper spa is a haven for adults who role play as children. literally wear diapers. So it is open to all diaper wearing individuals who seek acceptance, respite and care. This is true. The facility is decorated like a nursery with toys and adult sized cribs. Services range from two hundred dollars an hour for virtual playdates to a fifteen hundred a day experience that pampers the little one inside of you. The owner, Dr. Colleen Ann Murphy, said the community of ABDL, that's Adult Baby Diaper Lovers, is vast. Being a part of this community brings comfort and solace, she said, and added that her services do not have any sexual components, sure. Now, some Atkinson. It's real, David. Some Atkinson, New Hampshire residents are concerned, though, that this is something that they wouldn't want their kids exposed to. However, Dr. Dr. Murphy said once again, people tend to fear anything that they fail to comprehend. Yeah. Denied the permit. We'll see if the diaper spa opens.

Marc: I mean, who knows? The permit was denied, so it's probably not opening back up. It's not looking good.

Chris: Why is it? Why is it? Okay. Why? Why is it? This is a lot to unpack here. Why is it called a spa? Do they get massages in the adult side cribs?

Marc: You heard him. Virtual play dates.

Chris: What is a virtual play date with a dude in a diaper? Isn't Isn't that stuff the FBI arrests you for?

Marc: What would you normally do on a virtual playdate? I don't know. I've never had a virtual playdate. Maybe you need to investigate this further before you dismiss it.

Chris: You want to know what? Right now, this is my playdate. That's what this is, at least according to my wife. This is our playdate right here. She isn't wrong about that.

Steve: Well, I feel I've told you all you need to know about the diaper spot.

Chris: Yeah, and Mike Lawrence says what is depends come to uh, I I don't know mike, but yeah, that's a good one Okay, that is great. Now. This one is going to be a little shocking I just want to warn you that it has an uncomfortable subject in it, but it's it's I I could not I could not Not put this up. There's just no way I had to do this and i'm going to read the article. Oh boy the uh The headline is incest is best. The Economist says copulating cousins cool in most cases. Wow. The Economist. This is the real publication. All right. With america facing population collapse, thanks to a pandemic which compounded already shrinking birth rate Wait, where wasn't our population going to be too big to sustain the planet?

Marc: Just could you let me could you just let me talk about it?

Chris: Can I talk about incest for a little while, please? No Can I please talk about incest? I'm, i'm out With America facing population collapse thanks to a pandemic which compounded already shrinking birth rates, petrified young men who don't want to get the Me Too'd for trying to get past first base and record numbers of young Americans identifying as anything but heterosexual, the economists want you to know that it's probably fine to bang your cousin, which they also note is illegal in 25 American states. Which states is it not illegal in? West Virginia? I've been doing the research on that. I'll get back. After a dig at Kentucky for a quickly withdrawn proposal to remove first cousin from the state list of incestuous family relations, the article goes on to actually explain the risk of genetic mutations among the offspring of first cousins is greater than non-incest relations. However, the increase is actually quite small.

Steve: This could have a big impact on family reunions.

Chris: Justifying kissing cousins further, The Economist suggests that it's unfair to prevent incest because many other couples face far higher risks of genetic complications for their offspring. And those unions are not banned, such as people with recessive genes for certain disorders, such as sickle cell anemia or cystic fibrosis. Their offspring has a 25% chance of being born with that disorder. Yet those marriages are allowed. The law against first cousin marriage is a major form of discrimination. said University of Washington Department of Medicine Director of Genetic Counseling. I will leave her name out. The Economist does go on to let us know that the Bible does not directly ban sexual relations between cousins. How else would all of mankind descended from Adam and Eve?

Steve: When the Bible was written, there weren't a lot of people there to choose from.

Chris: You're going back at least six thousand now, maybe now now the the article there's a lot of other crap in it It finishes up saying maybe the plan is to either get people banging their cousins Or keep the border open while praising biden's amazing jobs recovery. So I don't want to get political on you They don't actually say banging. Yeah, i'm reading it, right? Maybe the plan is to either get people zero hedge article. This is zero head Listen guys, you got head. Professionally speaking, what does Dr. Schwabini feel about these clients? And I think he's talking about the diaper people. We really need Dr. Schwabini professional take on these clients too. I thought that the diapers were bad. He's talking about the baggy cousins thing.

Steve: It's something I'm going to have to really study and think about.

Marc: You really gave us a lot to think about with those two headlines.

Chris: Yeah, I know. And I think it's funny. He sends me a headline. I had this headline queued up for like the last week. I read it sometime last week, and I was like, oh, that's my headline. And then he comes in. He comes on the Economist. He comes in with diaper wearing adults that like go to diaper spa playdates. Yeah. Yeah, so that kind of gives you a little background. I think I won this week. How we actually feel.

Marc: I think this was a virtual tie.

Chris: Well, yeah. Last question for you guys. Did you ever have a cousin you wanted to kiss? I mean, just kiss.

Steve: You ever have a cousin you really you were in love with? No, it seems like you have. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Chris: No, I had a cousin. I don't remember her name. I was like 14. I had a crush on her, but that was it. She was just like, wow, I have a really cute cousin. Nice save. Now it makes sense. Nice save. I am from York, Pennsylvania.

Steve: That's true.

Chris: That's kind of like West Virginia. Not really. Not really. It's similar. It's like Backwoods, Maryland. Just no moonshine. No mooch. All right, listen, guys, this has been a great show. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for participating. Thank you for watching. Don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel. We're trying to get that baby up the charts. Having a great time. Hockey Jesus preaches there. I want to thank the Grand Schwab Beanie. I want to thank Hockey Jesus. Most of all, I do want to thank you for watching the sports porch on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. Thank you, X. LinkedIn, and I am going to drop this podcast in about 15 minutes. You can go back and listen to it as many times as you want on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your freaking podcasts. Subscribe, leave us a review, and we'll see you guys next week. I am your technical director, and I am out.

Steve: And no, he doesn't have a crush on his cousin.

Chris: Woo!