The Porch Is Live - How Did YOU Spend the Bye Week?

Marc I think it's coming up pretty soon.

Steve It might even be after next week. But this happens to be a Pittsburgh show. All right, porch, the sports porch, Pittsburgh. Thank you for watching on Facebook, on LinkedIn, all on YouTube, on X all over the world. And of course, we're going to drop that podcast. It's the one we're making right now. Oh yeah. We're going to drop it right after the show on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And that felt good. And you can always visit us at the porch is live.com. The porch is live.com. We'll get that right. Absolutely. So welcome.

Marc Welcome to the show.

Chris Welcome yourself. Okay. Listen, guys, thanks for being here as always. That television is really distracting. It is. Do you want me to turn it off?

Steve No, I kind of like watching the pregame Monday night game while we're doing the show.

Chris We're in our rejiggered studios, so everything's looking pretty good. I want to thank you for being here. Remind you that you can always grab the Sports Porch podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts. After the show, please subscribe. Leave us a review. We would love that. And I'm going to drop a comment right now. This is where you can listen to it on Radio PGH. That is our internet radio station. If you can't watch the show, you can always listen to it in the car. Just go to Safari or your browser, click that link in the comments, and you'll be able to pgh and it's a live interactive show unless you're listening on the podcast you can always call in at that phone number down there in the ticker 412-805-7236 No prank calls, please. All right, guys, listen, aren't they all prank calls? Most of mine are. Yeah, most of mine are. So look, it's a oh, we got like a fight in our new studio. We got a great big TV up there. We watch sports all the time. And moments ago, there was a brawl between the Cowboys and the Chargers on the sideline, kind of reminiscent of that Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers.

Steve There was no fights thrown, no punches thrown, just a bunch of people yelling at each other.

Marc Just a bunch of people getting chesty.

Steve Yeah, that's not a fight. That's more like a, I'm bigger than you are. No, you're not. I'm bigger than you are. And then everybody gets together and then they're like, oh, OK, you're both big.

Marc I hate that. I'm going to own you all day, baby.

Chris I, I, I, what'd you say? All day, baby. All right. Listen, guys, let's, let's get into it. The bye week. Was it a week of respite for you since the Steelers were not going to, for me, it was like, I don't have to watch a Matt Canada offense.

Steve Yeah. Yes. Fresh air. I thought, no, it's nice because all week long you're thinking, okay, what do I have to think about this weekend? Who do I have to get worried about? And this week you just get nothing, you know, and they won. So it's like, you're kind of taking that win into the bye week. So you're feeling good and you don't have to think about the next opponent. and your team's getting more healthy. So these are all good things, except for the healthy thing. Yeah, we'll we'll talk about that.

Marc Although it sort of was a big negative that all three division teams won.

Steve Well, I have to admit, I actually think the 49ers are pretenders without CMC. I really do. Yeah, I wasn't surprised, but I wasn't surprised by Cleveland. But what kind of an injury does he have? Well, we'll talk about that. But, but, uh, as far as the Bengals go, I really thought they were going to lose that game to Seattle and Gino Smith is starting to lose his, his magic. I think he's just not good as a quarterback for, for, for the Seahawks.

Chris Well, that would probably be, I mean, you know, he wasn't good his whole career except for last year.

Steve Yeah. But I mean, last year he was pretty good and he actually started off pretty good. I don't know. I think he's really, I don't think he's Well, he's never been the guy that's what I'm yeah, but he definitely proved he was not the guy Against the Bengals. He had a chance to win that game. I think twice and in blue at both times So that one was definitely disappointing, but honestly Cleveland's defense is is pretty good And all you have to do is stop CMC and it's easy to stop him when he's in the locker room Yeah, I

Chris I'm still, I'm still a Brock Purdy fan though.

Steve So Brock Purdy could have won that game twice.

Marc He did.

Steve He did go and he only threw for 125 yards.

Marc He did go per turn pretty bad there. Yeah.

Steve No, he's not. He's not the guy who's going to single handedly win games for you. Right. I even wish, even wish he and him. And that's, that's why I think, I think he's still a very good quarterback. Certainly better than Kenny Pickett. Right. and, and better somehow better, better than most of the other quarterbacks. But I think his, I think his offensive coordinator and having a, you know, the best running back in the league really helps him out. I, you know, look, look what happened to Jimmy G when he left. He was he was terrible with Vegas before he got hurt. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe out of football.

Marc Yeah. What is what is everybody? Well, he's everybody. What does everybody say about Perturd? They say system quarterback. No CMC, no Devo Samuel. You look like a system quarterback to me.

Steve Yeah. But you know what, they said that about Brady for a while, you know?

Chris Yeah. And then he went, then he just went and won a Superbowl with Tampa Bay. Of course he had a lot of experience.

Steve And there, I think there is actually something special about being a system quarterback, to be honest with you, because if you're, you're the quarterback, you're the gotta be the best guy on the field. And if they're writing plays just for you, then that's going to work out well for everybody as far as I'm concerned. And, you know, Jalen Hurts didn't have a great game this week, but he's somewhat of a system quarterback, you know, the guys that they, they, they make the game around him. He's the guy who stirs the drink, and when he throws three interceptions, they're gonna lose, and that's the first time he's done it.

Chris But couldn't you say that, I guess, about every quarterback, every offense? I mean, didn't they design the offense for Peyton Manning to play to his strengths?

Steve Well, I think the good quarterbacks, they do. I don't think they do for the average quarterback.

Chris Well, they can't figure it out, like the Kenny Picketts of the world, and unfortunately, we have the Matt Kanedas.

Steve Well, which is why I'm saying Brock Purdy is an okay quarterback. I just don't think he can get the job done. They can't design a game where Purdy goes out there and throws the ball for 45 times and they win. That's true.

Chris So Luke says hello. What's up, Luke? Hey, Luke. All right. So do you consider the bye week a W? Let's go there. That was Steve's diatribe, by the way, Schwaber. Um, and let's get quarter of marks. Let's get DGS. Uh, well with all the, you know, is in there, right? Let's get DGS comment in here. DG. What's up? Pretty had an off game. His passes weren't nearly as accurate. Seemed to have trouble. One play. The ball dropped out before the past. Right? So, Hey, look, it's any given Sunday. All right, who'da thunk, who'da thunk yesterday that not only would the Eagles lose to the Jets, but the Browns would beat the 49ers, and the Bills would almost lose to the Giants. Yeah, that was surprising. And Tyrod Taylor, when that came on the screen. So, let's talk about the Steelers, okay? When I say, do you consider the bye week a W, you know what I mean by that. You know? Oh, yeah. And it was. Was it? Yeah. Was it really? Because you were complaining before we went on air.

Steve The only thing that I complain about with the bye week is the fact that Dan Moore Jr. got healthy and now will be the starting tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers, which just absolutely blows my mind. Broderick Jones is by far the better talent. I mean, it's not even close. You know, you shouldn't be chanting, you know, fired Canada. You should be fired. Put fricking Broderick Jones in there. That's what I want to hear.

Chris That's what I want to hear. Can we come up? Oh, yeah. Put fricking Broderick Jones in.

Steve I mean, it doesn't work. Yeah, you're right. It's too many words. Right. But Jones in now. Jones in now. Yeah. How about that one? Yeah. Well, Jones in now. According to you, Jones in now. According to you, Jones in now. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Can you feel me? Can you hear me? No, no, definitely not.

Chris According, according to you, you may or may not have actually started the Fire Canada chants at the hockey game.

Steve Well, that is absolutely false. I would never start something as stupid of a chant as that at a hockey game. There, there, there, there, there, no, no, there are times to, there are, there are absolutely times to yell fire Canada at a penguins game. No, really? On the West coast. When, you know, USC is playing Washington. I'm sorry. When Washington is playing Oregon. No. Yeah. When you're at home at a Steelers game and you want to get Tomlin's attention, sure, you can do it there. That's fine. I'm looking for the text where you actually said that. What I said in my text is, it may or may not be true. I just started a Fire Canada chant. Yeah. Okay. And guess what? It's not true.

Chris Yeah. Well, why would you even hint that it may?

Steve Well, you know, well, see, I like to take credit for things sometimes that I don't come up with.

Chris Here's the problem. And I know, and Schwaber can, he can back me up on this.

Marc Okay. I got your back.

Chris Yeah. The whole thing, I may or it may or may not be true that I started, if not, look, Steve's had a couple beers, he's at a sporting event. I get a little loud. Any random sporting event, would he chant, would he scream fire Canada? Is that a yes or no?

SPEAKER01 Yes. Okay.

Steve Well, then it's absolutely true that I didn't start it because I had zero beers at the home opener.

Chris Yeah. That's still not an excuse for your idiocy. So, um, neither is drinking beer. Apparently this is DG's show because he's the one getting in the real comments here. Aside from the team. Getting rest I see our biweek as a loss because I believe that not a damn thing will be changed No, they're gonna go back to what didn't work that and that's actually a setback and Luke and Luke wants to know if you crown royal peach No, but that sounds good I'd be down with that

Steve Hey, Luke, if you want to send me a bottle, I'll try it.

Chris That's that's happened before, too.

Steve I guess somebody did send me crowned royal once, as I believe.

Chris And you may or may are all gone. You may or may not have started an F.U. Brady chant.

Steve Oh, well, yeah, I definitely would have started that at a Tampa Bay game versus Tom Brady. Yeah, I'll have you not in a penguin's game playing the Tampa Bay Lightning. OK, so you've been drinking this evening, Steve. No, I'm just thrilled that the Steelers actually had a bye week that I could enjoy and now I get to deliver hell for the next nine weeks. There you go. Welcome to hell. That's right. I do think that it's only going to get harder from this point out for the Steelers, honestly.

Chris Very difficult. I agree with you. I am not at all pleased with the news. the same as you that that first of all that Broderick Jones is now back on the bench and Second that Joey Porter is not most likely not going to be starting now look in the NFL it doesn't always matter who the starter is because you may come in for more plays than the actual starter and But on the offensive line, the starters are the guys who generally play the whole game. And cornerbacks, you know, your two cornerbacks, not your dime guy, not your nickel guy, they usually play the whole game. So it does matter in this case. And I have, first of all, Broderick Jones is one that I can accept a little easier. Don't accept it completely but because Dan Moore jr You know, if you could take the whole you could do two things first the offensive line. It's it's a unit. They have to play together. Mm-hmm Second, what did he do to lose his now? I know you have an opinion on this, but what did he do to lose his starting spot? Nothing? He got injured.

Marc So right now that's often why people lose their starting spot like true blood. So I Thank you. Right.

Chris Thank you. And, and, and so, but, but see, the thing is, I'm in agreement though. He should, Joan should be starting. I know. I'm just saying there are excuses that they can come up with that sounds plausible.

Steve Tomlin's number one is always You never lose your spot if because of an injury. I've heard him say it. And he says it all the time.

Chris So he's being consistent to his coaching style. It's dumb.

Marc That's a dumb philosophy. I agree.

Chris But it's harder on the other side of that.

Steve And it makes it harder for the youngins to come up. Right.

Chris How do they get in? Porter, on the other side of that, I completely disagree with 100%. I don't think there's anything that you can say that would justify that. The kid came in, he played well, he got a critical interception in a big-time game, and now you're going to go back to Pat Pete or Levi Wallace.

Steve Take your pick. Well, Pat Pete, that's the side he plays on. Put him in! Dude, plus think about who they're playing this week. The Rams, right? I know. They have receivers. Cooper Cup. Yes. Who can torch them. Yep. And they have Pakua Nakua. Yeah. Who can also torch them. They have Hukunumatata. They have that.

Marc Hukunumatata.

Steve They have that to our apologies to Hakuna Matata. The fact that they're not playing him this week makes it even more astounding to me.

Marc Yeah, it actually almost seems it almost seems weak. It almost seems like we know Cooper Cup is going to get his. We don't want to discourage the youngster, right?

Steve Yeah, that was the same philosophy for playing Dan Moore Junior in the first three games because of Crosby and the alike that you know he was going to line up against. But guess what? You have to eventually and there's no better way to do it than to get out there and do it. Yeah, I agree. So yeah, that's it. That's the only negative to the bi week is people got healthy that don't need to be in there now can get back in. But one guy who did get healthy. We absolutely need Deontay Johnson true that they need him. They're going to need him this week. And I have a feeling Jalen Warren was a little nicked up too after the game where he got like 20 touches total or something like that. So I think it was probably good that he got a little bit of a break because we all know they need two running backs. So they're gonna need Warren, they're gonna need Najee, they're gonna need both of those guys to run. I think the way they beat the Rams, by the way, I'm not predicting they are going to beat the Rams, but the way they do beat the Rams this week is if they just run, run, run, keep the ball away from Stafford. When Stafford does have the ball, make him make a mistake. Cause he can make mistakes. He makes big mistakes.

Chris They're going to have to bring that pass rush. They're going to have to bring that pass rush.

Steve So if they can, if they can sack him and get a scoop and score or something like that, then they got a chance because we know that our defense or offense can't score as much as the defense can.

Chris Yeah. So now that we've had, now that we've had an extra week to watch the rest of the NFL, um, Do you guys still think that Kenny Pickett is not the guy, or is the guy, or the jury's out? I have completely decided that he is not the guy. And I get it. Some people are like, eh, have patience. Canada's bad. I just watch him play, and I don't think he's the guy.

Steve I like Mark's take on this.

Marc I would agree that he's not the guy, but I'm not, I'm not going to say it's a hundred percent definitive. Like I'd say that there's less than a 10% chance.

Chris Yeah.

Marc I mean it, it would really take a lot for him to sort of take this big leap between year two and three.

Steve I think actually what happened this week puts more credence in what the Steelers do. because if you think about it, the way the jets beat, um, you just want to, you just want to keep bringing that up.

Chris Don't you?

Steve No, I don't like it. Trust me. I don't like it. Cause I hate this style of play. I think it's terrible. You mean the jets? Yeah. Well, they beat the Steelers last year too. So, well, I mean, you know, that's a totally different team at a total different space. J E T S jets, jets, jets. But the reality is the defense, beat up on the offense and they held on just enough to be able to win the game. Now, yeah, in the case of San Francisco, it took two missed field goals from a rookie from a rookie kicker. Right. San Francisco really should have won that game. Right. And both teams I think are probably equal to the Steelers. I don't think either defense is better than the Steelers, but I don't think the Steelers' defense is necessarily better than Cleveland or the Jets. Although I think they're better than Cleveland in the way they take the ball away. Although I think Cleveland's run defense is much better than the Steelers' run defense without Cam.

Chris Let me throw you this stat real quick that I heard today. Through the first five games of this year, the Cleveland Browns defense has given up a total of 1002 yards. It is the best start for a defense in the history of the NFL through five games. Now, it's not the whole year. It's not the whole year. It's that's really hard for you to digest, isn't it?

Steve No, it's really easy. Look at him. Look at him. Super, super easy for me to digest.

Chris He's going to he's like having.

SPEAKER01 Let me let me let me.

Chris They're not that good. Watering. Let me blow that statistic.

Marc Let me blow that up. And then I'll blow it up. Secondly. OK, good.

Steve OK, to explore. The first is you have to see who they played. The Cleveland really played no offensive teams, with the exception of potentially the San Francisco 49ers. And they were without their two weapons for three quarters of the game.

Chris Yeah. Bengals, Steelers, Titans, Ravens, Niners. Exactly.

Steve There you bunch of garbage offenses. OK, I mean, and. And on top of that, this is another one of those stupid ass made up statistics to make something sound good better. It's like, I've never had, I've never, I've never had a losing season in my coaching career. That's great, but we don't really care about that. All we really care about here in Pittsburgh are Super Bowls and making Super Bowls and winning Super Bowls. It would be nice to win a playoff game for fuck's sake. Yeah.

Chris Well, I mean, I think in Pittsburgh, the organization doesn't care about winning Superbowls anymore. Of course, we're getting off on a tangent. So no, they care about a nine and eight record.

Steve That's all they care about. That's right. So, so when it comes to, you know, the least amount of yards given up in the first five years, you can take that and your cram, cram it. in my crib floor in my cram. Well, that's right. My, my whole floor. Is that a Yenzer word? Cram hole, cram it in your cram hole of floor. There you go. Look it up.

Marc My feeling, my feeling on the whole thing is like this. You know, if you take, if you take Cleveland Browns, Pittsburgh Steelers and the New York jets, and you say they've got great defenses, struggling offenses and their defenses, keep them in the game, you know, a majority of the time. Bottom line is, you know, the game is different now. You know, the teams that will be standing at the end are going to be the teams that score 35 points.

Steve I bet they give up 600 yards to the Miami Dolphins. Yeah.

Marc Yeah. And that's the thing. You know, when it comes down to it in the end.

Steve Dolphins already have over 3000 yards. Yeah.

Marc I mean, that's what's going to happen in the end, because it always does. When teams don't take teams for granted anymore, they put up the big points.

Chris Yeah, I, and I'm not saying Cleveland's defense is all that. I just, I, I like to say things like the gaslight me.

Steve I know exactly. Right. And you're welcome for blowing up your gas light. Boom.

Chris Okay. Darnell Washington. Why is this guy not seeing more snaps other than he's a rookie?

Steve Do you have an infatuation with this guy? Cause he's really just a rookie. He's huge.

Chris I mean, he is so big. And, and he's like, he is, he's so big that big guys in the NFL look at him and go, Oh my God, that guy's huge.

Marc I will. I'll agree with the Kleininator on this one. Simply because, I mean, look, I thought the idea behind drafting him was he's an extension of the offensive line. The offensive line has struggled. The running game at times has struggled. Pass blocking has struggled. So why shouldn't he be out there?

Steve I'm sorry. The reason he's not out there is because he can't run a jet sweep. Yeah, that settles it. I mean, if they would put him in motion and basically made him the lead block for Nagé or Jalen Warren, I bet a hole would open up.

Chris Yeah, and that's what I'm getting at. They're not throwing to Friar Muth when he's in the game. They're not even using him. So, if you're not going to use the guy, then put in the guy who can block three guys with his wingspan.

Steve And it also sets up later if you have a goal line play where he's in and they're like, oh, they always run the ball when he's in. And then, hey, a misdirection play and you throw it to Washington. He's six foot ten. So, even Kenny could hit him in the end zone. That's right. That's what I'm talking about.

Marc I also think that Washington might be pretty good with a tush push.

Steve Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the Eagles will take him in three years. And that's what we've already had this bet next year. The push is going to be illegal.

Chris Yeah. And it will just completely nullify those 22.

Marc You have to admit, though, is it really funny when you watch all the teams around the league try to do it and nobody can do it? Yeah.

Steve You know what? Nobody does it like Philly.

Chris You know what you're calling it in Philly now.

Marc Have you heard the brotherly shove?

Chris Yes. The brotherly shove.

Marc OK, so it's just a frickin quarterback sneak. Just everybody. Yeah, it is.

Steve And you know what? On most of those. I mean, I know people who don't like it show, you know, some guy holding on the Jalen, you know, hurts and pushing him. But for the most part, hurts is doing it himself.

Marc Right. I mean, like they think you think Kenny Gainwell gets a lot from, you know, the push from like just anything from Kenny Gainwell's foot.

Steve Poor Goddard is really making it happen back there.

Chris It does seem like the push that they get when they do that is further and stronger. I mean, I do think there is an advantage to it.

Marc It's because Jalen Hurd squats 600 pounds. Yeah.

Steve According to CD, he actually squats a house. Yeah, well, just 600 pounds.

Chris I mean, that's pretty close. That's probably a that's probably a world record.

Steve I don't even think we run a tush push.

Chris Yeah, well, the DG says with our O line, we'd lose three yards.

Steve Well that's because they would hand it backwards and then you'd accidentally run around, yeah.

Chris I gotta tell you guys though, I'm actually very uncomfortable with the phrase tush push.

Steve What about brotherly shove?

Chris Do you like that better? Come to think of it, no. Let's go back to touch i thought i thought maybe you would see the light yeah yeah i mean and don't don't don't use those phrases in the word see the light together let's let's try to share yeah yeah there's not a whole you wanna go down to see. No, I'm going to do that scene in casino. Can you see me on this? Okay. All right. All right. That's a before show joke. Okay.

Steve So we got the Rams coming in and in our I think David's got a new one, but plug tug. Yeah, that's no, you're not allowed to tug. You can push. You can't tug.

Marc Yeah. I like the Christopher comment there.

Chris Put that one up. Steelers run the put. Yeah. push push okay yeah first of all i'm getting bombarded uh and overstimulated which was really the wrong phrase to use well that's because herbert was on all the all the verbiage and then the mental images so can we let's move on to seems like just about everything justin herbert without his helmet on yeah in the warm-ups it seems like just about everything is penetrating you right now yeah it's just getting a little

SPEAKER01 Let's go to our picks.

Chris I think we need to go to our picks. What I want to do is I want to talk about the Rams game real first. All three of us have picked them, the Steelers, to lose this game. And I don't think that's going to change. I think going into L.A. to play the Rams, I think Stafford, obviously a Super Bowl winning quarterback, a pedigree there. McVeigh, the offense, the receivers, our defense is good. And if it steps up to the plate and we really get some pressure on Stafford, maybe mistakes can be made there. But the problem again is our cornerbacks. And once again, and I don't want to rehash this, but that just goes back to Why not start Joey Porter and let him match up against Cooper copper Hakuna Matata or whatever his name is, you know, why not? He can't be any worse. So, um, as far as the offense goes, uh, listen, more of the same, more of the same Deontay's back. Great. Maybe actually the injury report says he's eligible to come off the IR. Does that mean he's going to play? We don't know. Oh, yeah.

Steve Yeah. Um, well, funny enough, you bring up Kyren Williams, he is out and that's, that would be, that could be a, that could be a reason they, they, they keep it a little bit closer. And I think if Stafford makes a few mistakes, I think the Steelers could eke out a win here. I didn't see a path to victory before, but I do now. And you know, the Rams, Think though, I think the Steelers will get out coached for sure at least on the offensive side I think it'll be interesting because our defense does make changes It'll be interesting to see what happens after Stafford slices and dices us the first time now, you know Yeah, maybe even on one pass to Cooper cup and he's gone, you know, yeah, it could be that cool It's gonna be over the top Stafford. So we'll see and

Chris Uh, and Amy chimes in and was something that is so, so amazingly obvious. You three are so immature.

Steve I mean, come on, Amy, we had to tell people that, I mean, anybody who watches this show, that's why they expect, they expect this kind of entertainment, immaturity, mature entertainment. We're starting a new thing here on the porch. No, I don't think it's new at all.

Chris I think we're just we're exposing it to use a word that is appropriate for the conversation. And CD says, oh, my no running back. We got a shot.

Marc So did you just say you exposed yourself?

Chris Yes. No, I didn't say that.

Steve No, he's being exposed. Yes. Immaturity.

Chris Yeah, it is. It's a horrible thing. It really is.

Steve So I do see a way. How about you, Mark? Do you think there is actually a way the Steelers could win this game?

Marc Yeah, I mean, they could. I mean, you know, look, I mean, You know, I think the Steelers are going to be hovering around 500. I think the Rams are probably going to be the same. So, you know, in a game like that. and anything can happen. Unfortunately, I think the difficult thing about being a Steelers fan is that you really have to hope for big plays on defense. If no big plays come on defense, they probably have no shot. But if big plays do come on defense, they have a shot. They usually have.

Steve They have in the wind. So I think we'll get on there.

Chris Well, the Steelers right now this year, to me, in spite of the anemic offense that they have, and it's almost like a Jekyll and Hyde defense. You've got that front four. It does fall apart when it falls apart. Right. You've got that front four that seems to play pretty well every game. You've got the linebackers that they turn it on and turn it off, and then you've got a horrible secondary. And that's tough. The Steelers are an enigma to me, because in my mind— Their defenses, I agree with you there. Well, in my mind, they should not be 3-2. In my mind, they should be—and I picked them to be 3-2. at this point anyway, but perfect. But the, in my mind, they should actually be maybe one in four, just, just because they're, I, when I watched them, the offense really is that bad. So, and, and, uh, that, that's all I'll, that's all I'll say about that. Yo, Carrie's back in the house. He's watching on YouTube, missing iron head so much. Yeah. Cam Hayward. I, you know, do you really think they're missing him that much?

Steve Oh, they definitely are up the middle, yeah, for sure. Yeah, in the run game. But I think that the bye week will help it because, you know, the guys that are playing up the middle, they're getting slobber knocked. And I think, you know, having the ability to rest a little bit, I think that'll help. But, you know, they got to play against the biggest slobber knocker of them all this week.

Marc I do much for him.

Steve I mean, he's he's a beast up the middle. He is.

Marc I think I do prefer the cabas to the slobber knock the cabas.

Chris All right. I'm I'm falling apart, guys. Let's do our picks here, OK? You never really work together. I haven't been together today. My my life is a complete and utter unmitigated mess right now. OK, so. Uh, I can tell by the beard. I can, uh, you guys always know when I'm not shaving and there's some shit going down. All right. So Mark is Mark on the year is 11 and four. Um, he's starting to run away with it and run away. Mark. I have no idea what the strategy for me is going to be going forward. Um, Steve is eight and seven hanging in there and I am six and nine. I went, Oh, and three last week. Yeah, three and mark with three. So this week, what's your pick? We are going to be picking the Jaguars at the Saints.

Steve You're the winner.

Chris You go. Terrible game. That's a Thursday night. Trap game. Trap game for the Jags, baby.

Marc Definitely for the Jags.

Chris Yep.

Marc Oh boy. Um, I'm going to go Jaguars.

Steve I knew he would. I knew he would. That's because you think ATN is all that in a bag is now I'm going to go with the saints. I'll tell you why I like that team a lot better with Camara back. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think they're a little bit more well-rounded. Um, And Clark can really chuck the ball. I mean, he really can. You're trying really hard. I am. I know you are. I'm going with the Saints. You are. All right. I'm going to go with the Saints too.

Chris Next game, this one is a game near and dear to Mark's heart since it's the only team he's ever truly loved, for real, down deep in his soul, got crushed by the Jets yesterday. The Eagles are hosting the Miami Dolphins. Who's going to win, Schwaber?

Marc Well, it's Kelly Green Day. Oh, Kelly Green uniforms are coming out, so that can only mean one thing. A W for the eagle. Of course, it would just be like the Eagles to lose to the Jets and then come out and smack the Dolphins. No, in all honesty, I do. I think it'll be a shootout. I think it'll be very close. I think that the team that has the ball last will probably win the game. But I'm gonna take the Eagles at home Especially after such a bad loss Steve.

Steve Yeah, I like the Eagles at home Miami definitely is the flying of the two teams. Yeah, definitely have it all going on on offense But the flying fish their defense is pretty terrible I think the Eagles can exploit their defense and I think the Eagles defense will be good enough and you know who I'm going with I

Chris The fins, the dolphins. All right. This one, this one, what'd you say Schwaber?

Marc A little fishies.

Steve A little fishies. They have the better uniforms.

Chris All right. Lions at the Ravens. Who'd have thought that the lions would be so relevant? Who would have thunk it?

Steve Mark, I think he took them. Yeah, he did.

Marc I told you I believed in the lions once I watched, uh, that, uh, hard knocks, hard knocks program last year, last year. Yep. Lions at Ravens. You know what? I'm going to go lions and believe it or not. I'll tell you why. I think coaching, uh, something's happened with John Harbaugh, but boy, he's, he seems like he's lost it a bit. Um, I, I just don't understand a lot of his coaching decisions. I'm going lions.

Steve All right, Steve. Oh, I don't disagree with the coaching aspect of this game. I just think, I don't think the lions are ready for the Ravens. I think the lines are a good team, but I think this is a game Baltimore needs to win at home to keep pace with the Steelers. And I think they'll get the win.

Chris All right. Steve's going with the Ravens. I am actually going with the lions. I think they're for real. I think people forget that Jared Goff did make it to the Super Bowl.

Steve He did. I don't I don't discount that that Detroit team's better. He's he's a talented quarterback. But Detroit. like baltimore well excuse me like the cleveland browns like the cincinnati bengals they might make it to the finals they're never winning oh that's great we're gonna remember you said that and yo carrie says jags saints eagles miami lions ravens is always the refs and replay booth oh yeah read your script guys that's right oh man you got that right you'll care you know what how i hope it's not true and

Chris The more football I watch, the more I think, you know, I'll tell you what, I think we just watch too much.

Steve You know, I think we read into way too much, especially with the scripting.

Chris I don't know, man. I don't know.

Steve But you know me, I tell you what, if you, if you have a script and do you think it would read verbatim for what was going on on Sunday?

Chris No, no. I think they're pushed in one, they're, they're push pushed in one general direction. You know what I'm saying?

Steve Don't tug in the other direction.

Chris They're pushed by a slob or knock or kill boss.

Marc They wrote the script for both the diners and the Eagles to win. They just missed their field goals.

Chris That's right. Yeah. There you go. It doesn't always go as scripted. That's true. They can go off script. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. They could look, listen, you can, you can, You can hit a 63-yard field goal and then a 29-yarder comes up. You can also miss that on purpose, right? You can do anything on purpose, Chris. Yeah, I don't think it's scripted. I'm just messing around.

Steve Okay. No, of course we don't think it's scripted. No. But it is fun to talk about. Yeah, yeah. Because there are so many things that are just so curious.

Chris You know what would have leaned me towards a professional sports being a little bit more scripted? Uh, wrestling, if it had. No, everybody knows wrestling is for real. Sorry, kids. Um, what have led what I would have leaned a little bit more towards something like that. If the Phillies and the Orioles had ended up in the World Series together exactly 40 years later, the year that Brooks Robinson dies, I would have been like, hmm, there's a script somewhere. Now, of all the teams, of all the games that would be hard to script, I think baseball would be one of the hardest. Yeah. But I'm just saying. And that didn't happen. It would have been the best for ratings, too. They were just it would have been good. But but they were trying to throw they're trying to throw me off the set. So the Orioles got swept for the first time in a

Marc Well, there was only one way to script baseball, and that was with a syringe.

Chris Yeah. What? Yeah, that's well, that's true.

Steve That's a good or the stealing of the signals.

Chris Yeah, that helps the trash. Yeah, you got it. You got it.

Steve Okay. So football, trash cans and syringes.

Chris Football is back next week. We all pick the stealers to lose to the rams. That doesn't mean that's what we hope happens It's just what we think is going to happen We'd love to hear what your thoughts are on that now something that is near and dear to my heart It's back because it's near and dear to steve's heart and that is the fact that yes uh steve is hockey jesus and Hockey Jesus is back. Hockey Jesus preaches on the podcast after every single Penguins game. And I think I lost my voice.

Marc And don't forget to catch Hockey Jesus.

Steve I got a drink right here. See, gotta have it handy.

Marc Hockey Jesus. I got one handy. And don't forget to check out Hockey Jesus on our Deportes channel.

Chris Coming soon. After every Penguins game, Hockey Jesus preaches on the Sports Sports Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts. and we're three games in now, and this is my take. You, Hockey Jesus, think the Pens are off to a good start, right?

Steve Or, um, no, I do think they're off to a better start than I predicted. That's for sure. I didn't actually think that they would beat both Washington and Calgary back to back.

Chris I mean, it's only three games, but I'm talking about the way that they're playing together. Like the power play looks good with Carlson on on the line, right?

Steve It does. At times, the problem with the pens power play is they they make it too complicated than it needs to be with a talent that's on the ice now. Just pass it a couple times and then shoot the damn thing. Like literally, I mean, Carlson is such a great distributor. He's gonna find somebody who's open and let that person, whether it's Gino on the left or Sid on the right or Jake up the middle, let them decide if they wanna either tip it in, slap it in, or make that secondary pass. That's it. This back and forth down below the bottom, this switching around positions, Carlson at top, the other guys on the wings, Jake in front, let's go.

Chris It's that simple. From what I understand, though, that the power play last year was a little bit more of kind of a free for all type of power play.

Steve They're still doing that, but they've got a rotation.

Chris So I was going to say, let me let me make my point here. it's going to take a little time, even though they've practiced together off season, all that stuff, it's going to take a little time for them to kind of gel that together. And it's, and from what I understand, it's already starting to look better. And as the year goes on, provided there's no injuries, I mean, that's where you're going to win games with the penguins is the power play.

Steve Absolutely. That's definitely where they're going to have to.

Chris Are you impressed with my hockey knowledge now at this point?

Steve I am. I am. I'm glad that I could depart some of my knowledge on to you so you could bring it back to me.

Chris It's all osmosis, buddy. Your osmosis. Sorry, guys.

Steve But yeah, so I think. You know, the pens are off to a good start. You know, they got four out of six points. They lost to Chicago, a team they shouldn't have lost to. By the way, I was at that game. This Penguin team is so much fun to watch. They are just incredible to watch live. There's never a dull moment. There's never a lead that you're like, oh my God. Like after they scored three goals in the third period, the last goal against Calgary, I still wasn't comfortable that they were going to win the game till they got the fifth goal and it was 5-1. It was 4-1 when it went to 4-2. Once again, when there's five minutes left in the game and you're up by two goals, you're going to win 95% of those games. So you're feeling pretty good about that. But even when the Pens were up early against Chicago in the first game, They were up one nothing and I'm like they need to get another golden got another goal and I'm like okay I feel a little better and then chicago came back and scored. Against it and I'm like I just didn't feel ever felt good about that game just because of the way. The penguins play, they're not going to slow down. They're not going to stop playing hockey. They're not going to stop chasing the puck. They're not going to stop trying to score goals. And that could be a problem moving forward. We'll see. I mean, this week they play at Detroit, which will actually be a very interesting game on Wednesday because Detroit likes to play that fast style. So it'll be interesting to see if they try and skate I actually thought the Penguins problem would be third period like it was against Chicago and then they came out and laid a turd in the first period when they played against Washington and then completely decided just to blow out Washington after that and And they actually got kind of hit by a hot goalie when they played Calgary on Saturday in the first period and into the second period, but then they came out smoking in the third. So I think the problem with the Penguins are they can't play three full periods. They kind of pick which period they're going to take off. When you're, that's okay when you're playing against okay talent, but when you have to play against really good talent in Detroit, isn't really good talent, by the way, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs, but when you're going to be playing against Dallas on the 24th or Colorado on the 26th at home in Ottawa that Saturday, those will be the games. I'll talk a little bit more about that next week to see what they do against these mediocre teams. So I actually think they could probably beat both of these teams on road, but they'll probably split. Probably end up getting a loser point The the bright spot by the way is their backup goalie the jail convict needle nose Ned. Yeah needle nose Ned Ned the head Yeah, he pitched a shutout He did. Well, no, he actually, he actually did give up a goal. Oh, did he? Yeah. Jari got the shutout the night before.

Chris Yeah. And DG has a comment. Were they just giving Jari a rest when he wasn't in the net?

Steve Well, supposedly they only want, um, they only want Jari to play about 50 games. So that leaves about 30, 32 games, uh, for, for Ned.

Chris You really got to hope your, your, your secondary goaltender, uh, plays well, if you're going to play him that many games.

Steve Yeah. Well, I mean, so he, you know, like I, like I tweeted out and you guys definitely need to subscribe to the hockey Jesus and make sure, you know, you're following me after every game. Okay.

Chris And, um, you got to put ad hockey Jesus under your thing for the next show. That's right.

Steve You know what, I didn't put my new logo up yet on my ex account. I gotta get to that.

Chris Is it one word at Hockey Jesus or is it Hockey underscore Jesus? I have to look it up. Don't worry. You made it. Why do you have to look it up? You created it.

Steve You are Hockey Jesus. No, I changed it, remember? Because it was like Hockey Jesus 6 or something like that. There's a lot of pretensions. the fifth Son of a slobber knocker. I hate that word. I hate that. Well, you know, it's only for you, Chris. I have a lot of hate tonight. I'm sorry. That's okay. Hockey's back. You should be watching hockey every night that you're not watching football.

Chris That's wow. That's quite a commitment.

Marc Have yourself a strudel and sick the heck down. Oh.

Chris Strudel. Where's the strudel come from? Strudel. The Swedes. Strudel. Slaganacus. Wait, strudel, that's German. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Marc I'm trying to make strudel all over Scandinavia.

Steve So basically, Jari is going to get a rest more often than not. Some people actually think that he could be pushed for a starting role. I don't see that happening, but I do like the fact that, you know, he did save like 26 or 27 shots. in the game he was in. I don't think that's something DeSmith ever did. So it definitely is an upgrade at that position. And the guy seems real confident. I mean, he's only had one really good season, his rookie year with Carolina in a backup role. And last year, he really kind of took off. He didn't really play much. I'm hoping he's ready to, you know, get a little bit more eyeballs on him.

Chris What about Riley Smith? How do you feel about him? The early returns are that he's a good fit.

Steve You know, I think the best thing about him is he can finish. And this is the advantage of having a left-handed shot coming off the right wing. I think it just causes so many problems for the goalie.

Chris Yeah, because the goalie's looking for it to his left.

Steve Yeah, well, if you're a right-handed shot, then really you're taking away the other shot to the glove side, usually. So all you can really do is kind of roof it up into the corner, and if you take away the corner, then it's hard to do the other shot. Well, this goalie kind of has to stay in the middle when Riley Smith's coming down, and he finished on two really nice goals. That's really exciting for me to see and actually the goal that he scored against Washington was kind of a nothing goal But that was his first and I was like that Really was important for him because if he gets on a role where he feels like he can he can have a good scoring Opportunity every night. He's gonna score one every other night. Yeah, it dude if he can score 25 goals Yeah penguins are earned for some some real gold when it comes to that and to that position. And yeah, it looks like he does have some chemistry with Gino, which is really important. Raquel's kind of getting lost on the other side, but he's still getting assists, so I'm not worried about that at all.

Chris I think if you listen to the Hockey Jesus after the games on the podcast, you will hear that. You talked about that when Riley Smith scored his first goal. You said that's a very important thing, and he followed that up by scoring two more. You know, I think the Penguins are off to a good start. I think that Dubis has done a great job in retooling that team, and there's a different chemistry. What it means for the rest of the season, it's too early to tell, but there's talent on the team, and there's talent that seems to be able to adjust to the other talent on the ice. And I think that the goaltending is still going to be the big issue.

Steve Oh, I agree. But I tell you what, seeing Nijelkovic in goal on Saturday made you feel better. It really did. I mean, it made me think, oh, yeah, he's going to be he's going to be fine. If Jerry gets hurt and he's got to come in, he's going to be good for just more than a couple games. Like he could he could I think he could take it over. And plus, that means Magnus comes up your buddy. Yeah.

Chris God, I want to see the Centurion.

Marc I like the joker. You like the joke.

Chris Yep. I like the joker just hunched down over his microphone just throwing out stuff to see if it sticks the joker. That was the wrong word to use too. So, um, all right guys, listen, uh, next week we got football coming back and, uh, it would be good to see, actually, it'd be good to see the Steelers play. I, you know, I hope they come out with a new offense. I'm like, I got a feeling they're going to.

Marc They've had two weeks to think about it. That's a joke, son.

Steve Yeah, they've had two weeks to think about it. Hey, Pens only play Wednesday and Saturday. There's no reason why you can't watch both of those games this week.

Chris That's exactly right. And you will always hear the Hockey Jesus preaching on the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts. The SportsPorts, we encourage you and thank you for subscribing. Leave us a review if you listen to the podcast. And if you can only watch a portion of the show, you can always just go back and and listen to it again, and again, and again, and again, like I do.

Steve The thing about this is, it's just us. You're never going to have to pause for a commercial. That's exactly right. It's just us. You got us for at least 45 minutes. What else could be better in life?

Chris Yeah, I know. Seriously. I mean, this is the only thing.

Marc Absolutely nothing.

Chris That's exactly right, Schwab. This is the only thing that gives me joy and purpose in life. This is it, being in front of this microphone with you guys, that's it.

Steve I think it's time to see your therapist.

Chris Very nice.

Marc As fate would have it, I have an appointment. All right, I am out.

Chris All right, guys, real quick, favorite dessert?

Steve I just hit you with one. I got it. Are you ready? Go for it. This weekend, we were in Philly, right? Had this brunch. We were having brunch and it was at a kind of a Mexican place.

Chris And I'm like, what is kind of a Mexican place?

Steve Well, you know, they have, like, you know, Santa Fe breakfast tortillas and stuff like that. Yeah.

Chris But what was the name of this place? I don't remember. They made it kind of Mexican. I don't remember.

Steve Kelly and a lift. I don't know. I don't remember the name of Chili's.

Chris Is that kind of Mexican? No, no. All right. Anyway.

Steve Let me get to the point. So brunch is over and we're kind of like we need something else. We need something else. Right. I'm like, let's get dessert for brunch. You ever get dessert for brunch?

Chris Sure. Yeah. I can't recall.

Steve So they had this Mexican chocolate cake, chocolate cake made with, you know, Mexican chocolate and passion fruit.

Marc I'm out, I'm out. Schwarber lead off homer.

Chris Oh, we got a Schwarber lead off homer. All right, Schwarber. Bye Schwarber.

Steve You have a good day. He's just going to leave us.

SPEAKER01 Look at that. He's got to go watch the Eagles. No, leave the blank screen up. Let's do that. Leave the blank screen up.

Steve In case Amy, if you want to come in and fill in for Mark. Yeah. Just, just jump in.

Chris Why don't you come in and tell us Mark's dirty little secret.

Steve Or Amy, you could share your favorite dessert with us.

Chris That would be, that would be incredible. Because I'm sure your favorite dessert isn't sitting on the couch watching the Phillies game.

Steve Oh my goodness. So the chocolate cake, it has chipotle in it, in the cake. Chipotle. Yeah. The pepper. The pepper. So it's a little, it's a little chocolatey, but it's a little spicy and it has passion fruit and like, like vanilla cream on it, and the passion fruit's like super sweet, but it's really sour too. And it was just the most incredible dessert I've ever had. Even Susan said, I think this might be the best dessert I've ever had. And Susan's had a lot more desserts than I have.

Chris Yeah, so it's a Mexican chocolate cake.

Steve Mexican chocolate cake with chipotle flavor.

Chris Was it like a flourless chocolate cake?

Steve Yeah, it was like, it wasn't dense, it was like really light.

Chris Okay, so then it had flour in it, all right.

Steve Yeah, and then it had like these dollops.

Chris Maybe it was like a souffle, was it a souffle?

Steve And she said that she thought maybe like was like a sponge cake, but it didn't look like a sponge cake. It was like just a regular cake. Right. And then on the inside, it had like it had like mousse in it, chocolate mousse. Right. And in the mousse, it had like more. Yeah, it had like it was like even more like Chipotle spicy.

Chris Yeah. So how did you feel when you took that bite of chocolate with the passion fruit, which to me goes together? Right. And then all of a sudden your tongue was burning.

Marc Yeah. Schwarber and Harper first first inning homers.

Chris There you go. So wait a minute. What did I say on the Philly porch? Jump out to an early lead. Jump out to an early lead.

Steve You said that. You said that. All right.

Chris Enjoy. Enjoy Schwarber. Go fight. Oh, and now he now he kicks himself out.

SPEAKER_01 Yeah, because he knew he knew he knew Amy would have taken it.

Chris He was out there going mock. Mark, they want me to come on and talk about my favorite desserts. I don't even know what dessert is.

Steve Oh, she eats desserts. Oh, I'm sure she does. Mark is a classic dessert guy. He eats desserts everywhere he goes.

Chris Yeah, yeah. I'll give you my favorite dessert. Tell me. It's really simple. Apple pie. Almost. Chocolate chip cookies. Oh, yeah.

Steve Love chocolate chip cookies. But for dessert, that's more like a snack to me.

Chris It is, but you know, throw a chocolate chip cookie down on the table after a big steak and I'm just as good as if I get a chocolate mousse or a… Like the kind they like bake and it like comes to you like piping hot.

Steve Yes. You like have to eat it with a fork.

Chris Yes. Then I go home and drink an entire gallon of milk. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. That's a dessert. Favorite gangster movie? Well, it's definitely not Casino. I know. I know. Can you feel me? Can you hear me? I don't know if anybody listening or watching remembers Casino, but there was, well, I'm sure you do, but there's a scene in Casino that I always thought was one of the weirdest scenes ever in the movies, but I loved it. It's when Sharon Stone's character is at her wedding to Robert De Niro and she calls her old boyfriend, Lester, who's played by James Woods, and she's kind of saying goodbye to him on the phone and he's talking to her while like, uh, you know, cutting a, cutting a line of cocaine with a razor blade and some hooker and he's sweet talking or he's like, do you remember me? Do you remember the first time you saw me? I remember you. I remember the first heartbeat and he's talking to her like that. I've been talking to Steve like that.

Steve It's been awful. I really can't wait to go home and have a chocolate chip. Oh, by the way, uh, favorite gangster movie. Just thought of it. Johnny dangerously.

Chris Nah, come on. That's a comedy.

Steve Dude, it's a it's a great gangster movie.

Chris It is. I like Michael Keaton. Oh, yeah. Come on. Yeah. Well, and it's isn't Chaz Palminteri in that too? Yes, he is. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I don't yell at my mother. I yelled at my mother once. Once. People don't even realize today that when guys our age say that, that's the movie we're quoting.

Steve Yeah, no, they have no clue, especially youngsters.

Chris You know, while we're while we're kind of winding down the show and people are starting to drop off here and… Tina Nalling had a touchdown.

Steve Too bad for you. So he needs to get like four more. Which he could, he could against Dallas.

Chris It's always well and it's early too. We're going to have a new segment coming up and our new segment is going to be movie quotes. That's what we're going to do.

Steve Oh yeah, definitely.

Chris That's what we're going to do. All right, listen guys, this means it's time for me to start the music. Let's do it. When the music starts. All right, as always, I want to thank you for all of us for watching the Sports Porch. on Facebook, on LinkedIn, on YouTube, on X, all over the world live. And if you don't catch us live, I'm gonna drop this podcast. Yes, I still have work to do. I'm gonna drop this podcast right after this show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. And you can always catch us on theporcheslive.com, theporcheslive.com, theporcheslive.com. All right, guys, you have a good week and we'll catch you On the rebound, no tush pushes. I am your technical director and I am out. Let's go pins. Boom, bam, boom. Always end it late.