Steelers Cowboys Recap

Technical Director: Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Uh you gotta mute your mic.

Hockey Jesus: There you go. Now we're professional. Before we were not.

Technical Director: Technical director on the case. Everything goes wrong. Everything goes wrong. All right, this is the Sports Porchd Black and Gold Edition. Welcome back. If you are watching us live, you are now watching us on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, X, and Instagram in the house. Drop comments, I'll show. We love the interaction. And of course, you can always listen to us. I'm going to drop this comment right there. If you haven't tried this yet, we have a new internet radio station, Radio PGH. You can grab the website at radiopgh.com, but you can also listen where this comment is. So that way, if you're in the car, you can catch us live on the radio. Absolutely. And of course, this is a podcast, so I'm going to drop the podcast right after the show. We're going to drop it right after the show. Please subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcasts. You can't handle the truth.

Hockey Jesus: How do you actually drop it? Do you just set it there? Do you place it? Or do you just slam it down like a touchdown pass?

Grand Schwalbini: You use the same voice for Jack Nicholson and The Pirate.

Technical Director: Same voice. It's because it's the only voice I have other than my own.

Hockey Jesus: One's a little scratchier than the other.

Technical Director: So what are we going to do here? Well, sports, sports, black and gold. It's pretty simple.

Grand Schwalbini: We're going to talk about Pittsburgh, black and gold, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.

Hockey Jesus: The Steelers. I think we have some angst today.

Technical Director: Yes. The Pirates. The Hockey Jesus is here. The Penguins. They're starting. We got a little bit of what we're watching. Mark and I have one. Trader Joe's Snack Time is coming along. Maybe the Grand Schwabini will make a prediction. Maybe he won't. And we also have to catch up on our NFL predictions from last week and for next week. And of course, we want you all to have a good time with us. So please drop comments. Talk to us. Spread this around. Share it. Follow it. Listen. Leave us a review. You know, say whatever the hell you want, because that's what we're here for. That's what we're here for. How are we different? We speak our mind. Yes, we do. Because we are not beholden. We are not beholden. So, what are we going to do? Let's talk about the Steelers right now. Now this is what I put up. Uh, the Steelers drop a close one to Dallas, uh, late game last night. Now, I, I, there was a point at which I didn't think I was going to make it through it, but I did. I did. I did. You just have to make it through halftime. Really? Well, I had to, I had to constantly go outside and drink out like a little half cup of coffee and then smoke a cigar while I was watching through the window. Wow. That kept me going. You get tired that early. That's surprising. I do. Well, my wife was out of town too. So, you know, I had no interruptions.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, not not literally. Well, I mean, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00: Like you were just.

Technical Director: So, in other words, what you really meant to say was I was jagging around.

Grand Schwalbini: Jagging around. That's what he meant. That's what he meant. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Hockey Jesus: Jagging around. There is a difference between… I did mean that. Jagging around and jerking off. You guys just always go right into the dirt.

Technical Director: Right into the dirt. Now, this time you dug a deep, dirty hole.

Grand Schwalbini: That's what this Steelers game did to you.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I mean, I'm probably the only one operating on three and a half hours of sleep.

Technical Director: Yeah, yeah, because you're so important. So, um, so let's do this. Let's, before we get into the ins and outs of the game, because we all, as always, like a lot of you out there, we have lots of ins and outs, like a lot of you guys do. You all have your own text trains and you, and, and text groups and all throughout the game, all throughout the game. So, uh, let, let's grade fields, the receivers and the D. And then you see that question down there. I want to talk about that. So, uh, grand Schwabini grade, Justin fields in this game. Grade Justin Fields. If you need some stats, he was 15 of 27 for 131 yards, two touchdowns, no interceptions. He was sacked three times for 16 yards. And let's just throw his rushing stats in there. Six carries for 27 yards with a long rush of eight yards. Overall, grade him. Two TDs and a field goal.

Grand Schwalbini: What was the completion percentage?

Technical Director: Well, 15 to 27, I mean, a little over a 60% somewhere in that range, somewhere in that neighborhood. I'll give him a B minus. Yeah. You think so? I mean, did he look, did he look good or bad?

Grand Schwalbini: I thought it wasn't a good game for him. I thought, to be honest, actually the numbers are better than I thought. I thought he played worse than those numbers. Right.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, that's very telling I actually would give him like a c plus Just because He he didn't do anything memorable. He didn't make that long pass normally makes like one long pass And he didn't justin fields didn't make that long pass at all. I don't even think he attempted very many No, no, he did but he missed a couple.

Technical Director: Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, so I I just I just felt like I don't know. I feel, I feel like we've seen everything he can do good. I didn't think he had a bad game, but I, and I think he scored that touchdown late to, to do a pretty good job of getting into the end zone with that shovel pass to, uh, to Moose. But they just didn't do enough overall as a team.

Technical Director: That was a risky play, though. Did you see how close the Dallas defender was to knocking that ball away or even going the other way with it?

Hockey Jesus: My son actually said something. He was like, that looked like a Kansas City play. And I was like, yeah, it did. It looked like a professional football play where it was like, boy, that's a lot of risk involved there. But it really paid off. It was a good call. It did.

Grand Schwalbini: That's an Andy Reid special. I've been watching that for years.

Technical Director: You have, you have. McNabb did it.

Grand Schwalbini: They love that. They never stop it.

Hockey Jesus: I hate it. You're right though. It was risky, but that was really the only play where it was like, and even that drive was a lot of running. So I just felt like the offense in general had the philosophy of run the ball and pass it sparingly and never really pass it deep. Look, I felt the opposite actually. I'll get to the wide receiver. So I think there's a reason why I'm saying that and it has to do with the wide receivers, but I'll wait when we grade the wide receiver.

Technical Director: Okay, so you gave them a C? C plus. C plus. I gotta tell you, I'm with you. I'm like, if there's a grade between C plus and B minus, like that's kind of where I am. Like a C plus is like a 78 or a 79 and a B minus is like an 81 or an 80. You know, unless you're grading on a curve. I don't want any comments about that, but comment on what you think Justin Fields grade was. You could go like 79.8. Yeah, right. I'm saying like it's really close to a B minus. But I think same thing as you. I have a feeling on the receiver side of the ball. Yeah, I think there are some things about that that were missed. So before we go to that, does Justin Fields start next week?

Hockey Jesus: Oh, no. I've always told you that if Russell Wilson is available and healthy, he should be the starter. And I still feel that way. In fact, I feel stronger that way now that they've lost two in a row. I feel like this this offense needs another jolt, needs another level where they they get somebody new in that can rejuvenate this offense because they need to have that long pass every now and then. And I think against Vegas next week, I think they're going to need to have that long pass more than they did this week.

Grand Schwalbini: They were talking on the telecast. They were really leading you to believe. That the decision was going to be this week and they were going to make it this week that he's ready to come back That's true.

Technical Director: So bad. So wild herb weighs on youtube is watching. Thanks for being here, buddy He comments bad sign for the steelers question mark. Nope. Steelers right on track for nine and eight eight nine season Maybe wild card, uh, mike lawrence is back. He's he's here every week. Thanks for being here um wonder why we can't throw more to pickens tomlin said he wasn't in a all the time because they were managing his snaps. I call BS. We'll talk about that. Totally agree with you. And, uh, OC official Chris Chada OC on Instagram says, do you think Devante Adams would help at this point? I don't. So we're going to move on to the receivers here. Uh, grade the receivers Schwaber.

Grand Schwalbini: Uh, geez. Uh, was that too quick for you? I mean, like, like, well, I'm kind of like laughing because is there a grade?

Technical Director: Yeah, above F. I'll give you some stats. Naja Harris, uh, two receptions for 35 yards along a 20 van Jefferson. When did he appear? Uh, three for 26 Pickens, three for 26 Connor Hayward for 23 Pat Fryer moved three for 22 Hayward and Fryer moved with TDS. Nobody else matters.

Grand Schwalbini: Do the tight ends count as receivers? Yeah, let's count them as receivers.

Technical Director: Yeah, we're gonna count them as receivers, yeah. They generally receive the ball.

Grand Schwalbini: Okay, then I'll say D+.

Hockey Jesus: Okay. Yeah, I would give them an F, but they did catch two touchdown passes. Right. So I can't flunk them, but I can give them a D-, so that's where I'm going.

Grand Schwalbini: However, just as a side note, I'd give the wide receivers an F.

Hockey Jesus: uh and amy may says do we have they caught no touchdown passes good point amy may says do we have receivers

Technical Director: She's catching on.

Hockey Jesus: And to answer O.C. 's question about Devonta Adams, yes, of course he would help, but they're not going to go get him. So there's really no sense talking about it. No, no. You can watch him play next week when Vegas throws all over us.

Technical Director: Yeah. So in other words. Well, that's not true. You gave him a D. D minus. D minus. Okay. You gave him. D plus. D plus.

Hockey Jesus: But the wide receivers actually got an F. Wide receivers F. Yeah.

Technical Director: Receiving core. Man. Yeah, I'm going to get, I'm actually going to give them, I'm going to give them an F and I'll tell you why. But these cut two touchdown passes. I don't care. I don't care. Um, I think that there were missed opportunities. I don't think that George Pickens with that, Uh, you know, I'm open all the fucking time or always fucking open, always open. Well, always fucking open is what he wrote on there.

Hockey Jesus: Did you see that? No, he didn't. He didn't. It didn't say fucking.

Grand Schwalbini: I didn't notice this. Yeah, it didn't say fucking.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, it did. I didn't see anything.

Technical Director: Okay, somebody sent us a picture. Pull up the picture and send it to me. I'll put it up here. Anyway, there is no picture. But I will, I'll find it. Yeah, you'll find it. I give them an F because for example, uh, Darnell Washington, what I did appreciate early in the game is that you were just pumped up and, and Arthur Smith, he wasn't open. Arthur Smith loves this guy. It's obvious. He wants to turn him into some kind of force on the offense and he missed no, no, the, the, the game, the, catch that he missed, he could have hauled in. He could have hauled that wasn't. I think so. Um, no, he wasn't open. I think they get an F because George Pickens, uh, and I'm going to go, I'm going to go down this route again. George Pickens is a liability on this team. He is not, he is not the answer at wide receiver. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, Steelers nation. Um,

Hockey Jesus: That was the ticker telling you, no, you're wrong.

Technical Director: Yeah. The play at the end of the game where he grabbed the guy's face mask, that tells you all you need to know about George Pickens. He is a sore loser. He is a complainer. He only wants the ball for him. He says, I'm always open. He's not. and he doesn't he he's not producing he's not he can't he can't run inside routes they run him to the outside almost all the time and it's because he doesn't want to run over the middle i'm i'm more and more convinced that this is a bust of a draft pick and until look i i am a hundred percent willing to say that i was a hundred percent wrong i think because i want more than ever for george pickens to step up his game and play like a winner not a mad toddler that's what he is he is a mad toddler i didn't get the ball i'm i'm always open um you know they they at the end of the game he grabs it up did you see the clip i'll let you go in a second and did you see the clip where the Cowboys defensive back was walking in the locker room and they were videotaping him and he looked at the he looked at they was probably on an iPhone he looked at the phone and said Steelers need to get some receivers man that tells you everything you need to know about how that crappy Cowboys defense that had no real starters did against their receivers. They felt no threat whatsoever.

Hockey Jesus: Well, they do play with a lot of swagger.

Grand Schwalbini: Here's the bottom line. Swagger. Pickens is very good, but he is a diva. He's going to have a game or two like this every year, and he's going to come back with some big games. Maybe. I think that the problem is actually bigger than Pickens. The problem is the offense and the approach to offense is what's got a diva like Pickens just frustrated beyond belief. And here's what it comes down to. You know, like this game, OK, this was Mike Tomlin football. Hey, if we can get 17 points, we should be able to win the game by controlling the ball with the run game and with our defense. And that's why when it was the first quarter in the red zone and it was third and eight, They ran the ball so they could, you know, they didn't want to have a turnover. Right. They wanted to take their their safe three points. And because they didn't go for a touchdown, imagine you get a touchdown there. Now, all of a sudden, you know, the Cowboys are saying, oh, my God, we don't we lost all our good players. We couldn't stop them. You know, it's the whole mental aspect of the game changes. And I think Pickens is just extremely talented, and he knows that if he was on another team that throws the ball a lot more, he would have a lot more opportunities. And you know, maybe he's not, I don't think he's not going over the middle because he doesn't want to. He's not going over the middle because they're not calling it. You know, so the bottom line is the frustration for me is this Mike Tomlin approach to football. Because the bottom line is, I mean, you're never going to win that way. I mean, it's once in a blue moon that a team can win like that, like the Ravens with Trent Dilfer. You know, like, it's really hard to win that way.

Hockey Jesus: I agree with you there, Sean. And on top of that, it's really a shitty game to watch. It is. And the thing that frustrates me is, clearly, Pickens is their only wide receiver that has any talent, right? I don't, I don't know if, if you guys know this, I doubt it because I've been listening to a lot of radio today because I really wanted to hear what happened. I don't understand why they don't even have pickings in there on two wide receiver sets. Now it's like he's the third wide receiver. That's ridiculous. I mean, they're using cam Hayward. They're using, they're, they're using Hayward more as a, as a receiving, Uh, is a receiving, uh, receiver is a tight end and they are with George Pickens. That's just dumb. I mean, that's just, that's not playing to your only strength. And even if he can't catch the ball, even if they have him out there as a decoy, then you can throw the others, but they don't even have him out there. He was not in on many plays. He was in less plays than Hayward. Then van jefferson and fryer muth on past plays. That's just dumb. That's just dumb offensive philosophy now and I don't know if that's the the the OC or if that's Tomlin, but I have a feeling it's Tomlin because like Mike said It's, it's inexplainable that he would not be in there as, as little as he was. And, and, and they're trying to manage his snap count. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're, you're, you're, you're taking your best wide receiver and you're saying you're managing his snap count. Well, that, that, you know what, by not having him out there on two wide receiver sets, that makes no sense.

Technical Director: Well, here's, here's what it is. Two things. First of all, I think Arthur Smith is realizing that the talent level he has to work with now is not that great, number one. And number two, that, uh, managing snap count, that is code for Pickens is some hot in some hot water, right? Okay. There's no other reason to do that.

Hockey Jesus: Just come out and say the guy, why would Tomlin do that? The guy is an asshole and, and he's not a good team player. You know who did it? Fryer Mooth did at the end of the game. He was talking about teammates, you know, with bad attitudes. Everybody knew who he was talking about.

Technical Director: Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: And this is what I've been saying. And this, this, this is the problem with the Steelers organization. They won't take this and turn it into a positive by sitting Pickens down and saying, you need to do what's right. Instead, he probably was in hot water over the tape over his eyes. Somebody noticed it. Tomlin probably noticed it and said, well, we're going to make an example of you when they actually need him. And I don't think that's the right place to do it. You have to, you have to, you have to do it in the right context. It probably cost them the game by him doing that. And that's just the wrong, I'm sorry, but that's the wrong thing to do at that time. If he can't manage his own guy, that his own guy is going to go out and put some tape on that's no, he's going to piss off his head coach. He should just get rid of him now. He should trade his ass now for, uh, you know, uh, Darius Slayton from the Giants or somebody, anybody who's an okay wide receiver because he's just going to continue to be that way. You can't control him.

Grand Schwalbini: I think there's better ways to control him. Like, for example, if he's having problems during the week, you know, you make him not start. and he sits out the first series, but then he plays the rest of the game.

Technical Director: Okay. So I want to get a couple of comments from Instagram here. Uh, and, and, uh, I think there's another comment coming in on the other side. Will Wilder boy says Tomlin approaches 2010 football with 2025 players, 24 players, right? 25, two pickings will not block on two receiver sets. He feels blocking is OL and tight ends. Not me. Deontay Johnson was saying, yeah, Yeah, okay brilliant realness on instagram. They need to give him the ball bro period And we have no other wide receiver options. I agree. Just G.I. Joe says we got out outcoached, outclassed, outplayed. Bad teams break records and have big games against us. He also says Dallas beat us at Pittsburgh football in Pittsburgh from the Rooney's down. Look in the mirror, ask the tough questions. And he compliments us and says, side note, good work, guys. God bless. Thanks, man. We are asking the tough questions. That's right. That's why I'm trying to answer that. I say I say he's not the answer, by the way, by the way. By the way, I just wanted to pull this up here on for the win, which is a sports betting site. George Pickens wrote a very NSFW message on his eye tape that backfired.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I sent you a picture of it. Oh, you did? Yeah. It's in your email.

Technical Director: Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: And I do have to address what Mark said about that third downplay.

Technical Director: Always. I'll look at it. Right.

Hockey Jesus: So he's right. Like it was third and whatever, 10, 8, 12. And they could have easily have just thrown it into the end zone to try it. Try and get a touchdown if they're just going to run it to, you know, whoever this running back is that now we have to play because two of our three running backs are hurt. But did you know that Dallas did the exact same thing? later in that game. He did the same thing. It was third and twelve. And what did they do? They handed it to the running back and and kicked the field goal. And I'm like, well, that was exactly what the Steelers just did. It's like, what is wrong with the NFL teams that they feel like they're OK with kicking field goals now instead of like actually trying to go for it? Are they so risk averse that that that's just like, well, we'll just take the three points.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, I think the Cowboys was a little different because it was 12 and not 8 and they also Backed had like 2 or 3 red zone Turnovers, so it was a little different I don't know.

Hockey Jesus: It seemed like they were doing the same thing. They were waving the white flag.

Technical Director: Okay, so here's here's here's Pickens and Open you can't see it open fucking always I can't see the fuck in there. Yeah, it's there. It's there No, it is it is I'll tell you what, I'll blow it up for you guys.

Grand Schwalbini: You do that You blow it up. But um, you know, it was interesting though. I I actually hate with a passion Chris Collinsworth Did you hear his comment on that third and eight run? I? No, I missed it. He goes, he goes, he's like, well, that that's an interesting play call. I'll tell you what, I'm kind of scratching my head. They must have seen something on tape where they really like something. You're right.

Hockey Jesus: The way you, the way you, the way you, you brought it back to me, I was starting to get, get a little bit of a convulsion going. Yeah, yeah explain this to me too and this this is has nothing to do with the game this has to do with the NFL Because I just have to go on a little bit of a rant here Why the hell do they still use chains to check the first down? I agree. What the hell? It's a trillion dollar business. The NFL is a trillion dollar business. They trot out two 60 year old guys with a chain you can buy at Home Depot. That's 10 yards. And that's what they use to, to check the first down marker. You can't, you get a better technology NFL, please. I'm imploring you NFL, please eliminate the chain. And these,

Grand Schwalbini: Join the 21st century and these 20 and these 60 year old guys.

Hockey Jesus: They like never seem to be able to get out of the way They have them on the sidelines just for the folly of it, yeah Well, it's all about job preservation, you know, it's all about so it's a union job I'm sure you get rid of I wouldn't doubt if it wasn't a union job

Technical Director: Oh my God. Does anybody know that? Like SEIU, Service Employees International Union or something like that?

Hockey Jesus: I don't know because, I mean, even the referees aren't unionized.

Technical Director: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I have no idea. But you always talk, talk about that. I think it's hilarious. I think you're right.

Hockey Jesus: Dude, that drives me nuts. It drives me nuts. It's a 20, it's a 10, 10 yard chain held by 60 year old men on the sidelines.

Grand Schwalbini: And I always feel like, How do they know when they run across half a football field that they've run straight?

SPEAKER_00: You know how they know.

Hockey Jesus: No, they actually have a, there's a, there's a clink on one of the yard and they know where the set it. It's a clink. Yeah. It's, it's, it's literally like, you know how they have the flags. It's just on one of the links, they put it right in the link. Yeah.

Technical Director: Okay, whatever. It's crazy. Yeah, you can watch the games.

Hockey Jesus: Now, who knows if the line is straight to your point.

Technical Director: You can watch real-time analytics on Amazon Prime, like everything you ever wanted to see computerized about football, but they still got to trot out the chains.

Hockey Jesus: It's really unbelievable. Trillion-dollar business with 40-cent chains.

Technical Director: All right, let's grade the D real quick, and then we'll get to some other stuff here. Schwaber, grade the D.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, you know what is a hard one. I'll tell you what. Um, I actually was listening, uh, to some sports radio on the way in here and I heard a lot of D's and a lot of F's, uh, on the defense. Um, but I'm, I'm going to go better than that. I'm going to give them a C. Um, they did have, uh, three turnovers. Um, that alone, they were, they were, they were mostly good in the red zone. Um, Um, they just, you know, look, I mean, at the same time, I get it. I mean, you know, you're paying this defense to be able to stop the other team with four minutes left and they didn't do it. Um, right. But at the same time, I mean, I thought, look, look, here's the way I look at it. I mean, so what they lose the game was a 2017. OK, my my feeling is in this in this NFL where the passing game is so prominent. Right. If you hold a team to 20 points, you should win the game. I agree. So I'm just going to give them a C just because they didn't stand up when they needed to. But overall, I didn't think it was that bad.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, I'm right there with you, Mark. I think that they gave up way too many yards, which is why I'm dropping from from a B or a B, because they just they were getting run on all the time. They were getting passed on at will. But when it came down to getting into the red zone, they really held their own. I wish they would have made one more stop and then they would have won the game. But they didn't. And that's that's just unacceptable with the defense that's supposed to be elite. this defense was not elite last night. They were more like, okay. And, and that's honestly why they lost the game.

Technical Director: See, I, I disagree with you both. I give them a B or a B plus. And the reason I do that is because they did have three turnovers and on the, in the, in for that last touchdown that, that the Cowboys scored. They, they caused a fumble that a Landon Roberts jump over the line. They just weren't able to, you know, you're talking about four straight plays from the, from the two yard line. They stopped them on three caused a turnover on one of them that they couldn't recover. Uh, and they were tired. Uh, plus they blocked the field goal. I know that's defensive special teams, but hold on, hold on, let me finish. No. The offense did not deliver. And that's more to Mark's point. What I'm saying is the defense did what they were supposed to do. They held the Cowboys to 20 points. They created three turnovers. They had multiple sacks. They blocked a field goal. In the NFL, if you're the chiefs and your defense does that you win by 10 points or more if hell if you're the commanders right now and your defense does that you might win by 20 points or more i give them a b they didn't play perfectly But I'll tell you what, man, they came to play. The offense did not come to play their running game. The running game was a disaster. And I was hitting you guys up after the commander's game. Everybody who watches the porch on a regular basis knows I am a recovering Washington Redskins fan. And I watched my first commander's game yesterday. How many days sober? Fourteen years, brother. Fourteen years. Fourteen years. Well, that's real sober. Sorry. from the Redskins, uh, zero since no, since they got rid of, uh, the name. Um, so three years, four years, whatever I'm working on it. Okay. So anyway, there's a chip I watched. Thanks. I watched the, uh, I watched the commanders, um, and, and, well, let me go to Mike Lawrence's comment here. We got three turnovers and blocked field goal and could not score more points. Wonder how many teams lose with exactly Mike. He probably said that before I said it. That last Dallas drive was pitiful defense. I get it. But I'm going to, I'm going to tell you this guys right now, that the Washington commanders have a better offensive line than the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Washington commanders have three running backs, Ekeler, Robinson, and a guy named McNichols. All three of them are better than the Steelers running backs.

Grand Schwalbini: I don't think that the Steelers offensive line is, has been bad at all.

Technical Director: No, but the commander's offensive line is better.

Hockey Jesus: No, they're only better because they have three running backs to run. We had we had one running back to run last night, and that was the problem. And it's the same frickin problem on defense. Herbig got injured early. He got out and they're still missing. What's his face from the very first game? Highsmith from the first game. So who they got some third third round pick over there against Watt now. No, Roman Wilson played great, but he needs to be starting because Orlando Roberts is garbage. He needs to play with Patrick Queen. He needs to be the… Orlando Roberts is garbage? Yes, he's absolute garbage.

Technical Director: Except for that one play.

Hockey Jesus: Well, if they would have gotten the fumble, then I would say no, but he didn't even get the fumble. Okay, he punched it out and make it jumped in behind him instead of going after the fucking ball Yeah, and that neither of them got the ball, you know who did dacted? Yeah, and Dax not very good with getting fumbles Yeah, by the way, that's what he did and that's why they won the game.

Technical Director: Okay, so Defense you guys gave C's I gave a B. See the crazy thing about this game is

Grand Schwalbini: If they stop the last play of the game, you know, essentially the pass to Torbert. Yep. If they stop that pass.

Hockey Jesus: Turbin.

Grand Schwalbini: Tolbert. Tolbert. Yeah. If they stop that pass. Kubert. If they stop that pass. Oh yeah, I love Kubert. If they stop that pass, they're 4-1 and it's a much different conversation. True. Yeah. But at the same time, that's exactly how I'm bringing it full circle back to the Tomlin way of football is that if you're going to play the game of winning by inches, Do you leave yourself open to losses like that? Yep. Every, every game.

Hockey Jesus: That's absolutely right, Mark. That's absolutely right. We've talked about this for years. It comes down to one play, and either you make it or you don't. And that's the way Tomlin wants to play. He was happy to have that be the last play of the game. He wasn't happy with the results, but that's exactly where he wanted that team at that point in time.

Grand Schwalbini: Yep. I was thinking that the whole time. By the way, on a lighter side, Are you aware that on the previous play? Torbert Torbert or Tolbert Tolbert Tolbert had sprained his nuts. Yeah Did he really know Really did he was he was running off with his hand in his nose. Honestly, what happened? Yeah, his nuts landed on the ball and so he caught a game-winning touchdown pass with sprained nuts Wow, I give that one on my resume that in a plus I

Technical Director: That's an A-plus. That's great insight there. Okay, moving on. You can catch the Sports Sports Podcast. We drop it right after the show. It is this show in podcast form on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or as Jack Nicholson would say, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcasts.

Hockey Jesus: Jack Nichol. Yo-Ho Sun. Yo-Ho Sun's back.

Technical Director: What does Yo-Ho Sun have to say? Yo-Ho Sun says, Pickens look like a crybaby ass at the end of the game. Go back and start from the beginning, Kerry. Yeah, he did. We agree with you, Yo-Ho. Yeah, we 100% agree with you. We talked about that. And if you're watching us live, thank you. We are live every Monday night at 7.30 p.m. all over the world on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube X, and Instagram, drop comments, communicate with us, follow the podcast, leave us a review. That would be great. Now we're going to go on to NFL predictions. That's pretty easy. We pick three games, the Thursday night game, Sunday night game, and then a Sunday day pick them game. Last week, Mark was one and two. Steve was one and two. Chris was one and two. So Mark is now nine and three. Steve is seven and five. And Chris is three and nine. I'm telling you, I'm going to win this. You're coming up. You're coming up. Let's go.

Hockey Jesus: You can catch me this week. Let's go.

Grand Schwalbini: The Grand Swalbini had a bad week, but lost no ground.

Technical Director: That's exactly right. And for all intents and purposes, I had a good week and gained no ground. Right. No, you always get one right. That is true. That is true. Well, it's the law of averages. Because we forgot to do week one. So the first game is Sunday night. Bengals at Giants, who's your winner? Drop a comment. Let's go with Hockey Jesus here. Bengals at Giants.

Hockey Jesus: I really like the way the Bengals played against the Ravens. They should have actually won that game. But when you got a rookie holder, anything can happen. I think they'll fire the rookie holder and they'll beat the Giants with a field goal at the end of the game.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah, this is a Bengals win. I'm actually, I'm actually saying, even though they're at one and four, I don't, I don't put the Bengals out of it.

Hockey Jesus: They're out of it. I don't think so. 6% chance.

Grand Schwalbini: You heard it. It's like, you know, it's going to happen at some point. Well, 6% of the time, 6% of the time.

Technical Director: H J is always, always on the Bengals, isn't he? It's usually right.

Hockey Jesus: I'm not saying Joe Burrow, never making another Superbowl. Yeah. It's been true.

Technical Director: I mean, that's not a hard prediction. How,

Hockey Jesus: How much? Oh, dude, everybody after that first Super Bowl, they're like, oh, he'll be back. He'll win more.

Grand Schwalbini: How much, though, would you love to have Joe Barrow be the quarterback of the Steelers?

Hockey Jesus: As much as I would love Jalen Hurts to be the quarterback of the Steelers. Yeah, a lot. Okay. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't want J Jaden Daniels. No, no. Okay.

Technical Director: Or DJ Strout. I am, I am going with the, uh, not on this team. Yeah. Not on this team. I mean that, that, that, you know, different systems, different, whatever. Let's stick to the predictions here, boys. Uh, I, I think the giants are onto something here. Do you do? Yeah. Yeah.

Grand Schwalbini: What are they on to?

Hockey Jesus: What are they on to? Are they on to beating Cincinnati? That's all we really care about.

Grand Schwalbini: Daniel Jones is suddenly going to become a good quarterback. Yeah.

Technical Director: I think Malik neighbors is pretty good.

Grand Schwalbini: No, I didn't play last week.

Technical Director: This is the giants. This is the giants at home. I'm actually going to go with the Bengals. I think they're going to win this game. All right. It's a must win.

Grand Schwalbini: That's your one win for the week. Sunday night. It's a must.

Technical Director: All right. Let's go on to the, the, uh, no, let's do the Thursday night game. We, we usually start with that Thursday, 49ers at the Seahawks. What is your winner?

Grand Schwalbini: How about the 40 whiners being two and two and three? Oh, they're just looking disgusting. Yeah. They look bad. Brock Purdy.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, he, he just, uh, you boys starting purty again this week.

Grand Schwalbini: He, I heard he went, well, it's walking up the steps of the hall of fame and he fell.

Hockey Jesus: It's one game.

Technical Director: Somebody did say HOF. Joe, I said Hall of Fame. He will be in the Hall of Fame. And Joe Montana had a bad game every now and then and didn't win the Superbowl. So he's Joe Montana. I didn't say that.

SPEAKER_00: I didn't say that.

Technical Director: No, I did not. I said even Joe Montana had a bad game every now and then. Okay. All right. Um, what was I, what was I going to say? Um, What's this? Happy birthday, Forrest. I don't know.

Hockey Jesus: I wish it was my birthday.

Grand Schwalbini: I don't know. But Sylvia, thanks.

Hockey Jesus: Thanks for the birthday wishes, Sylvia, even though it's nobody's birthday.

Technical Director: 49ers at Seahawks. Oh, yeah. And I have to question my fantasy football GM here. Why would we go with our backup quarterback? Why would we do that?

Grand Schwalbini: CJ's our starter. Well, but CJ was playing a good team. And he played well. He did. And I thought that he could, I thought that Brock Purdy would carve up the crappy Arizona Cardinals and he just didn't. He did not. Never go with the backup quarterback. You're right. He's a backup. That's what I need to remember. He's a backup.

Hockey Jesus: You play him on the bye week.

Grand Schwalbini: He's a backup. That's why he's there. He's a backup Hall of Fame quarterback.

Technical Director: All right. 49ers. And what's your, who's your winner? H J no, no, no, no.

Hockey Jesus: He has to go first. Okay. Go ahead.

Grand Schwalbini: The grand trial beat and the Seahawks, the Seahawks lost to the giants.

Technical Director: They did. That's why I was kind of iffy on the bangles thing, but these are always a close game.

Hockey Jesus: It's like, it's like Pittsburgh, Baltimore, you know,

Grand Schwalbini: I'll take the Seahawks at home.

Hockey Jesus: I mean, it's not a bad pick. I probably would have done it if you didn't. But since you did, I'm going to go 49ers. All right. She's going for it. I think it's a pick them game, really.

Technical Director: It is a pick them game. And I'm going Seahawks because this is a situation in which. the Seahawks feel like this is a must win because if you can, if you can beat the 49ers at home and, and now they're two and four and they're playing from further behind the Seahawks would be foreign too. That's exactly right. This is like, we have to, we have to start putting the nails in the coffin now. So they have all the motivation in the world.

Hockey Jesus: just like they just don't have the talent to do it.

Technical Director: Yeah, they don't. But McCaffrey's not playing, you know, I mean, hasn't played all sea pretty, pretty, but hasn't played up the par, you know, the last few games I'm taking the Seahawks. Okay. Sunday game is, uh, this is a good one. Lions at the Cowboys. Who's your winner?

Hockey Jesus: Is that a four o'clock game or one o'clock game? One o'clock. One o'clock game.

Grand Schwalbini: That's up to you, Grant. I'm going to take the Lions. I don't believe in the Cowboys without their defense.

Hockey Jesus: I think the Lions are really good.

Technical Director: No, excuse me. 425, 425. Yeah.

Grand Schwalbini: Makes sense.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. Oh, that means I can't watch it because that's when the Steelers are going to be on. That sucks. Okay. So who did you pick? That's why I was asking. I want to see if it was a game I could watch.

SPEAKER_00: Lions. Yeah. Okay.

Hockey Jesus: God, I do like the Lions. I think the Cowboys don't really need to win this game, but they are playing at home and they haven't really won at home. I'm going to take the Cowboys. That's probably a bad pick, but I'm going to do it.

Technical Director: I think the Cowboys are coming off a tough road win that came down to the last seconds. The Lions, man, this is a total pick them game too. But I think Dan Campbell is the wild card in this. He puts them over the top, so I'm going with the lion.

Hockey Jesus: I don't know how they are on the bye week. Are they Andy Reid-like or not? I don't know. It's a small sample because he has three years. He's probably like one on one.

Technical Director: All right. Those are our picks for the week. We'll catch up with them next week. You're watching the sports, sports, black and gold all over the world on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and X, as well as the Instagram. And we're going to drop the podcast right after the show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify or anywhere you get your frickin. podcasts. Um, now, um, you want to do H J now?

Hockey Jesus: I would like to talk about the pit Panthers.

Technical Director: Oh yeah. Let, let me do one quick thing about the pirates. They got rid of their hitting coach. Yay. There it is. Okay. Well, everybody was screaming all year long. Get rid of the hitting coach. Well, they got rid of the hitting coach. Just not the manager.

Hockey Jesus: They bring the good guy up from, from, from the minor league.

Technical Director: I don't know. I don't know. But that's the pirates news. Okay. We'll get to it. We'll, we'll start next year with false hope one more time. I know. Absolutely. So yes, let's talk about the pit Panthers five and Oh, what'd you say? Beat North Carolina for the first time ever.

Hockey Jesus: For the first time ever, they won in North Carolina this past weekend. Eli Holstein is really a great quarterback. He's unbelievable. This guy can just either throw it or run it whenever he wants to on any team. Now, granted, they've played Kent State. They did win it at Cincinnati. That was their biggest win, beating your biggest rival in West Virginia. Then, of course, Youngstown State, which isn't a real team, and then at North Carolina. But they've got two big games coming up at home. Cal, University of California is making its way to Pitt Stadium for the first time. Well, it's not Pitt Stadium. It's really Akroshore. But and Syracuse is coming in the week after that. This is the make or break for the Pitt Panthers. Look, they're ranked 22 in the nation. Yeah, that's that's encouraging. And if they win the ACC, they're going to go to a bowl game. So that would be pretty impressive, which means they'd have to be Clemson, which is probably improbable. But they would, no matter what, they're going to have to be Clemson at some point. They actually play them November 16th in Pitt. So get your tickets now. But they got to be, they got to get through these trap games. Cal, Syracuse. If they can do that, I think they got a pretty good chance. If they get through those, they end up 7-0. 7-0 will definitely turn some heads and maybe Penn State will want to play us again in 12 years. state. Maybe. All right. So who also, by the way, are like, uh, five and O, but they're like ranked fourth in the nation.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, thanks to Alabama. Well, they beat, they beat everybody except Michigan and Ohio state. Yeah. Right.

Hockey Jesus: And unfortunately they still have to play them. Right.

Technical Director: Okay. Hail to pit. Let's move on to hockey Jesus. Now what is hockey Jesus? Well, it's that gentleman across from me in the studio. You can follow Hockey Jesus on YouTube at Sports Porch Podcast, the Sports Porch Podcast on our YouTube channel. After every single Penguins game, Hockey Jesus hops on the air and he drops some knowledge about the game and how he feels. He hasn't missed a game in two years. And Wednesday night, we're starting the regular season. But you do have a preseason debut you're going to talk about tomorrow night.

Hockey Jesus: Tomorrow night, I'm going to debut the preview of what I think the Pittsburgh Penguins are going to do this year. So you're going to have to stay tuned for that. The interesting thing about this year is they start the year off in the first 10 games, they play seven teams who are expected to make the playoffs in the first 10 games. Right. That's a challenge, a significant challenge for this team. And they'll be doing it without the presumably without Brian Rust, who went on the IR. But however, Rutger McGroarty did make the roster. And it looks like he'll probably be playing on the third line. Some people are a little upset about that. They think that he belongs on the top six. But let's face it, he's not fast enough to skate with Sid. They got Anthony Bolivier to skate with Sid. Personally, I hate Anthony Bolivier. I think he's a terrible hockey player. But man, that guy can skate. He's fast. So we'll see how he does on the first line. Probably that means DLC will be up on the first line until Rusty gets healthy. And the second line, um, you know, it's Gino, essentially Gino and racks. Uh, they'll be on the second line with a Bunning. The Bunnings, the new guy that we got for, um, uh, for, um, the, who, who's that guy that we had for a while that played with Sid, you remember his name? Let's see. Nobody even remembers. Oh yeah. Yeah. Jake Gensel. That's right. They traded him for, for him.

Technical Director: So, um, I thought you, I thought you were serious. second. I was like, how does he not know this guy?

Hockey Jesus: I'm playing along with you guys. I know you listen to the hockey Jesus. So I know, I know, you know, about the Pittsburgh.

Grand Schwalbini: I mean, it's not Jake Ensel, but Bunning did play well.

Hockey Jesus: The great thing about Bunning is he, he adds a net front presence. He adds a little bit of grit and he'll be great on the second power play. I have no doubt about actually I I personally think that the second power plate might be better than the first power play Because they're gonna do the right things. They're gonna put somebody in front of the net. Somebody's gonna shoot it It's gonna deflect off before things and bounce in while you know what the first team's gonna do cross ice pass cross ice pass cross ice pass Deflected shoot it down the other end Drives me fucking nuts. But hey, that's for another time. But at least it's not sprained nuts. That's true. That's true. But I promise you, I would bounce back if I did sprain my nuts during a podcast.

Technical Director: That entire sentence there just kind of made my nuts hurt a little bit.

Hockey Jesus: you know, just grab ahold of them, they'll be fine. So I guess what I'm trying to say is you're going to learn a lot about the Pittsburgh Penguins in their first 10 games. I think I have them going something like four and six or something like that, which I think is actually pretty good. because of the stretch they're on. They're actually going to go out to the West Coast. They're going to play at Winnipeg, at Calgary, at Edmonton, and at Vancouver in this stretch in the first 10 games. That's pretty brutal to have to do in the first 10 games, but they're going to have to learn to do it. I'm psyched. This is my time of year. I'm just so excited. I'm going to be at the home opener Wednesday night. What time are you going to get down to the barn? Well, I'm going to go a little early. Got to stop at the Super Bowl. Everybody knows that's my place. Super Bowl. I'm going to be there with the counselor. The counselor is going to be there. Counselor's on hand. And we're going to be at the game together. Well, we're not actually sitting together, but we'll be at the game together. So I've got to hightail it back to do the hockey Jesus. It probably is gonna be another 1 a.m.

Grand Schwalbini: Flight might the archbishop be making a stop.

null: Oh

Technical Director: All right. That's H J. You can follow H J on the sports sports podcast on YouTube. And of course on the IR radio app, Apple podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your frigging podcast. What we're going to do now is we're going to stump the Yenzer, um, stump the Yenzer. What it is is Steve has Yenzer blood. He's got DNA pierogies in his DNA right there. Um, we ask a question of our resident Yenzer hockey Jesus, and then we ask our resident non Yenzer, the grand Schwabini. I got the title back last week. You did get the title back. Whoever gets it right becomes the Yinzer this week in honor of hockey season. The question is, which season did Mike Lang become the Penguins play-by-play guy? Whoa. There you go, brother. That's a rough one.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah. Well, it wasn't the original season. I can tell you that. So it was in 1967. I think he came by in like, This is a total guess, but I'm going to say 1972. Interesting.

Grand Schwalbini: Uh, I think it's going to be a bit later than that.

Hockey Jesus: It might be. I'm going to say if I was guessing, I would go later.

Grand Schwalbini: I'm going to say he put the headphones on in 1981.

Technical Director: No, that's too late. The title does not change hands this week, but both of you were wrong. So, so let's, let's, let's do higher or lower.

Hockey Jesus: Well, okay.

Technical Director: 19, 1976 was my next. Okay. Well, it was lower 1974, 75. I had already put it up on the screen. I think Robert already saw it. So,

Grand Schwalbini: Well, you would have been over prices, right? Yeah. Prices.

Hockey Jesus: You are already out.

Technical Director: Yeah, that's true. Okay, so what season did Mike Lang become the play-by-play guy? 1974? 74, 75. 1975. My buddy from York, Jeff Paul, is in the house. Hey all, sorry I got here late. No problem, Jeff. Just subscribe to the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts, and you can listen to it anytime you want. It'll pop right up in your inbed. Okay, it is time for one of our favorite What do we call it? It's snack time. It is. Yes. Taste the biscuit.

SPEAKER_00: Snack time. Taste the biscuit. Taste the goodness of the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce.

Grand Schwalbini: Taste the goodness of the biscuit with that honey sauce. Love that sauce. Get that honey sauce on me. I don't like the way you eat with my chicken wings.

SPEAKER_00: Okay, everybody, it is.

Technical Director: Yes, it is Trader Joe's snack time. And what does that mean? Well, everybody knows I work at Trader Joe's. They're not paying us for this, so it's not an official sponsorship, but they did give me permission to do it. Every week I try to bring home a snack or something from Trader Joe's. We give a little sample. We give our honest opinion. And if you like it, hit Trader Joe's and buy it. If you don't, well, then don't buy it. This week we are sampling, this is actually, I'll tell you the story here, coffee panna cotta.

Hockey Jesus: It's not much different than rice pudding.

Grand Schwalbini: Is that kind of like a little play on creme brulee?

Technical Director: Panna cotta. Have you had panna cotta?

Hockey Jesus: Panna cotta. It's like rice pudding. I've never had panna cotta.

Technical Director: You've never had panna cotta in your life? No. Okay, so it is kind of, it's not a play on creme brulee.

Hockey Jesus: No, it's firmer. It's like a loose sponge cake. It looks like creme brulee a little bit.

Technical Director: Well, it's not creme brulee. I do like coffee. It isn't as custardy as creme brulee.

Grand Schwalbini: It's a panna cotta.

Technical Director: It's a panna cotta is what it is. I prefer my panna cotta with a spoon, just so you know. It's good. I'm telling you. I have actually had it. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yeah, yeah. Evan Brand Oh, so he's already had it. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yeah, yeah. It's– it's pretty good.

Hockey Jesus: Evan Brand Come on, Mark. Dig in there.

Technical Director: Come on now. Dr. Justin Marchegiani It's a dessert. Panna Cotta. Trader Joe's Snack Time. Coffee Panna Cotta.

Hockey Jesus: Evan Brand What do you think? Oh, don't say anything. Make sure I get some first. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yeah. Evan Brand There it is. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yeah. Evan Brand Right there, people. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yeah. Evan Brand It's a Panna Cotta.

Technical Director: Dr. Justin Marchegiani It's kinda messy now.

Hockey Jesus: Evan Brand That's okay. I didn't spill any on my compooper. Dr. Justin Marchegiani You've had Panna Cotta, right? Evan Brand Yeah, I have. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Okay. Evan Brand Hmm, let's see.

Technical Director: Dr. Justin Marchegiani Yup.

Grand Schwalbini: It's actually fairly close to pumpkin pie.

Technical Director: The consistency is what you're talking about. Yeah.

Hockey Jesus: It's like, it's like a soft cheesecake, right? It's delicious.

Grand Schwalbini: Give thumbs down you give it thumbs down. Yeah, I'm not not a big fan of that coffee flavor I could see I could understand people liking that hmm, but it's just not really for me I would say I I think it's got great coffee flavor, but the the texture is like yeah, I Yeah, it's kind of like a good panacotta. I like the coffee flavor, but it's, it's, it has me really wanting a cafe mocha, not a panacotta. All right. Gotcha.

Hockey Jesus: Something you'd throw in the blender and turn into a coffee drink.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah.

Technical Director: I mean, we could always try that.

Grand Schwalbini: It's okay. It, to me, it's like a, it's like a dessert that's trying too hard. Okay.

Hockey Jesus: What the coffee? It's like a rich man's pudding.

Grand Schwalbini: How about that? It's like you're trying too hard. You know, just, it's not necessary.

Hockey Jesus: Rich man's pudding. How about you, buddy? I give a thumbs up. Yeah. I like this. If this was around as a dessert, I would try it and I would enjoy it. And I have.

Technical Director: Yes. And here you go. It's heated heavy cream set with flavoring and powdered gelatin.

Grand Schwalbini: Thank you, Mike. Look at the Jeff Paul. Yep. Yep. You wouldn't find it. Wow.

Technical Director: No, you would not find coffee panna cotta at Wawa. And as far as I'm concerned, if you did find it or she, yeah, if you did find coffee, panna cotta at Wawa, I'd, I'd put it up there with gas station sushi, gas station sushi.

Hockey Jesus: You're not going to, that would be the dessert you would have with your gas station. Yeah, that's right.

Technical Director: You would have gas station sushi and then gas station panna cotta. Wawa panna cotta. All right, guys, that does it for Trader Joe's snack time.

Grand Schwalbini: All right. Thanks, guys.

Technical Director: Sports porch black and gold every Monday night, 7 30 PM Eastern time live on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube X, and Instagram, and dropping the podcast in a few minutes right after this show on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts and something we haven't talked about in a while. What's our website? The porch is live.com. The porch is live.com.

Grand Schwalbini: The porch is live.com.

Technical Director: We're going to have to get back to doing that. All right. Last segment of the night, guys. Last segment of the night. What we are watching. You want to describe it, Schwaber?

Grand Schwalbini: Well, there's just so much to choose. So many things. So many streaming services. Hulu, Amazon Prime, Netflix, Max, Apple Plus TV. Oh my goodness. Freebie.

Hockey Jesus: Tooboo.

Grand Schwalbini: Just start with some letter that's there.

Technical Director: I want to know, like, the first time you ever heard of Tubi, what did you think it was?

Grand Schwalbini: I thought it was… I'm hearing it for the first time right now. Are you? What are your thought process? You're thinking it's a streaming service? It's a streaming service. I'm thinking it's a streaming service that focuses on the Teletubbies.

Hockey Jesus: Not bad.

Technical Director: He's exactly right. He's pretty good. He's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was something else, but OK, I digress. So what are we going to do?

Grand Schwalbini: Well, we're actually right about that.

Technical Director: No, no, no.

Hockey Jesus: I don't. I don't think they're going to be. Yes. If they are, they would be. Tinky Winky Dipsy. Wow. Oh, I'm sorry for your child.

Technical Director: Oh, my God. It wasn't my childhood. It was my children's childhood. Save the comments for later. OK, so, you know, So tonight the Grand Schwabini and I each have something we watched. Well, I watched something. I'm just not allowed to talk about it. Steve's working on something because you have to either have completed the entire movie, if you watch a movie, which means even if it's horrible, like supposedly the Joker, a folly part due.

Grand Schwalbini: Hey, by the way, by the way, a little side on that. I mean, I'm sorry to anybody out there and maybe you guys are too. I'm so sick of superhero movies. Like, here's the thing. Do I have, like, I'm, I'm 54.

Hockey Jesus: Congratulations.

Grand Schwalbini: Let's say I live another 30 years. I'm fortunate. Maybe longer. Do I have to live through like another four versions of the Joker?

Hockey Jesus: I mean, like, you know, probably eight or ten.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. Like, you know, whoever the next big star is, it's got to be the Joker. Now enough already.

Technical Director: Stop it. Well, you know, I think I think I see where you're going.

Hockey Jesus: Yeah, yeah. It's the same movie over and over again. Yeah. But if they're furthering the story, I don't mind that.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. I'm just not.

Technical Director: Well, here's the thing. It seemed like in the past you know, when you, when you talked about like the Tim Burton Batman, right. And then years went by and then it was the Christopher Nolan Batman. Okay. But then all of a sudden then DC has to do their benefit Ben Affleck Batman. And then it's Robert Pattinson Batman. Right. And then it's the Marvel, right? Marvel. It's like they're just speeding up because they need, they want to generate the cash. I didn't mind the story being reinterpreted, you know, every 15 or 20 years, right? Right. But now it's kind of like, well, which one do you want to believe? I had a buddy at work who told me that I need to watch the most recent Batman with Robert Pattinson playing Batman because he thought it was almost as good, not as good, but almost as good as The Dark Knight. and the Christopher Nolan one, he piqued my interest, but like, I'm not ready for that yet. So I agree with you. And as far as fortunate enough to live another 30 years, I mean, that's all like perception, buddy. Do you really want to live another 30 years? If I'm healthy. What I want to know is, is will we be fortunate if Mark lives another 30 years?

Hockey Jesus: Well, yeah, I would say because he'll be healthy. Yes. Right. Otherwise he'll just take himself out.

Technical Director: I mean, question, he'll find a way to, he doesn't have, he doesn't have the, he doesn't have the sprain nuts.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I would, I would, I would say Amy would take him out, but she's much too kind. Yeah. There's no way she would do that.

Grand Schwalbini: She's got a dark side.

Hockey Jesus: He's been watching some Batman lately.

Technical Director: He stole my thunder because I was going to say now my wife on the other hand I could be dead tomorrow and you guys probably know and she has or not. She has the knowledge on how to dispose of a body and you will never ever find it.

Hockey Jesus: She's explained it to you. I would love to watch that show that she watches to be able to learn that.

Technical Director: Yeah. No, she doesn't watch a show.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, the problem that she has now. Dear. The problem that she has now is now that you told us that. Yeah. We're going to be on Dateline. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, he said, I mean, we thought he was just joking around. If anything ever happens to me. But he did just say, if anything ever happens to me, it was her.

Hockey Jesus: and listen to this obscure podcast from 2024.

Technical Director: The one thing that I would follow that up with is, if anything ever happens to me, it was her, but it was clearly my fault.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, we already know it's your fault. Let's just get her off the hook. Yeah, she's not going anywhere.

Technical Director: Point taken. There you go. You did deserve it. All right, all right. We're over an hour now. What are we watching? Well, Schwaber, Um, good Lord. I, I think I totally screwed this up here. Um, what else is new? Yeah. Yeah. Mark. Mark is what, this is such an old show, but it's good. Mark is watching. Whoa.

Grand Schwalbini: Okay guys. Wow. He's going backwards. You never do this. This, this was a feat. Yeah. Like eight, nine seasons. I finished the entire thing. 204 episodes. Wow. Wow. Four episodes took a couple months and only took 24 hours. And I'll tell you what, it was a really good show. I mean, I mean, here's the thing. Kiefer Sutherland. Come on. Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, uh, is it like, would I ever put it on a top 10 list of shows? no no um you know because there were there too many times where it was just kind of like same old same old hey they saved the world oh no this happened now we're all gonna die oh wait we saved the world this other way oh wait this happened now and now we're still all gonna die

Hockey Jesus: Like, if they do that twice, it's OK. The sixth time, a little much.

Grand Schwalbini: They do it a lot. But I will say that it was just, you know, it was a very entertaining, fun watch. Honestly, I think that like even the last season was just as good as the first season. I mean, it was it was it was pretty good. I mean, just a really good, enjoyable watch. I love anything with, you know, CIA. FBI, CTU, that kind of stuff. Terrorism, fighting terrorism. What's CTO?

Technical Director: Counterterrorism. Right.

Grand Schwalbini: So I really enjoyed it. I mean, look, it doesn't have the the chops of something like the Americans or

Technical Director: uh homeland or anything like that but it's a fun watch it was it was actually the show that kind of that kind of spawned all of those shows and it might have done that yeah it was it was groundbreaking at the time because every episode is one hour right so and and like you said i think you were reviewing an earlier season you're like they can't possibly do all this in one hour right right you know it's kind of like so many like six months worth of events happen in an hour Yeah. I know. I watched it when it was actually on television. Yeah. You used to watch it religiously. Yeah. And I watched the entire series. And for me at the time, it was one of my favorites. I don't know that I could rewatch it though. And I am a rewatcher.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. The thing that I did find interesting about it was that like in all honesty, like I really do believe like the last season was just as good as the first season. I didn't think that I felt like it never, it never got worse. If anything, it might've even got better as it moved along. And so it did kind of raise the question to me, like, Why did they stop? And I guess what it is is like, it's just different. Like if you're streaming and you just keep going and going and going, you lose track of time. I think probably what it was, was just, you know, over like 13 years, losing my voice over 13 years, you probably just, people got tired of it.

Hockey Jesus: Well, and I bet that's what it was. And it was also, it was a ratings thing.

Technical Director: Yeah. Because at, at some point you're like, look, there's no way you can save the world from a nuclear bomb every single time. Right. Like it's never going to happen every single time. Yeah. Right. Okay, so I took my selfish watching out of the equation this week and actually over the last Oh, here's another comment on 24. Mike Lawrence, Kiefer's cell phone works no matter where the hell he is. Decent show, though. You're right.

Hockey Jesus: We haven't had electricity in 15 days.

Grand Schwalbini: I will tell you what the most common phrase is on 24. Basically, whenever something is going wrong, Kiefer Southern goes, damn it.

Technical Director: Very well said. Very well said.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

Technical Director: That's it all. I, um, meaningless tidbit, but Kieser, Kiefer Sutherland was an Expo fan. Thanks for that, Jeff. Appreciate it. Right. That is very meaningful. Yeah. But, uh, it's meaningful to Jeff because he was the only Expo fan on the planet. We know about his love for the Expo.

Grand Schwalbini: On the planet.

Technical Director: Les Montreaux. Uh, I watched The Perfect Couple on Netflix.

Hockey Jesus: Oh, yeah. What do you think? So you were the last one to watch it, right? Mark, you watched it. I watched it. Yeah.

Technical Director: Now, full disclosure, my wife wanted to watch it, so it made myself less watching a lot easier. A lot easier, yeah. But it wouldn't have been on my radar. It would not have been on my radar, except you guys said, you know.

Hockey Jesus: Gotta watch it.

Technical Director: I was not as impressed as you guys. Did you figure it out? Did you figure it out? No, I did not. I thought it was like the other one. like the other girl.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah.

Technical Director: Yeah. It was, uh, it was, it was the, right. Let's not sweat. Anyway, it was, I, I did not figure it out until like the last episode. Then I was like, I think somewhere before they made it obvious, I was kind of like, Oh wait, it's probably this person. And then it ended up being that. But I did not find it to be as engaging. I thought the characters were not fully developed.

Grand Schwalbini: Didn't you think that Leo Schreiber was just, he did a good job of playing like a creep, but he was just like really like I don't know. You weren't rooting for him. I felt like it was bad acting, but good acting too. Yes. It was just weird. Yeah. He played a weird role.

Technical Director: He was kind of fluffy. Right. That's the best way to put it.

Hockey Jesus: Well, I mean, after you see him in Ray Donovan, it's pretty easy to get fluffy.

Technical Director: Yeah. The way you guys were describing it as he was a drug addict and a drunk, like, yes, he was, but it wasn't as bad as I necessarily thought. I thought Nicole Kidman at times, I felt like she was actually not acting. Like she's probably that way in real life because she deals with publicists and attorneys. Not that she's not a nice person, but not that we would ever know. And she is, she is fantastic in everything she does. And probably in my world, the second hottest woman on the planet, our age anyway.

Grand Schwalbini: Yeah. Beautiful. Um, Lauren Klein, the number one. Yes, absolutely. Sure.

Technical Director: Yeah. She knows that. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. She does. Um, so I think the storyline, what didn't, what didn't resonate with you? Yes. Where did you fail? I did not. I did not feel because I'm sure Lauren loved it. No, she felt the same way I did. She, he was actually like, you know what?

Grand Schwalbini: Well, because you said it was the Liv Stryber thing. This is what it was. This is what it was. You fell victim to the overhype.

Technical Director: Potentially.

Grand Schwalbini: That's what you did. You fell victim to the overhype. If you had found it on your own, and made it your own little discovery, your own little baby. And you were able to nurture it. You would have told us it was great. You're going to love this. I don't know. I don't know. You fell victim to the overhype.

Technical Director: But maybe, I mean, I watched Peaky Blinders after you and you really hyped it and I thought it was just as good as what you said. So I try not to fall victim to overhype. It's not that I don't, but I think it wasn't at quite as suspenseful as I thought. I thought that the cops that were investigating their attempt, the attempts at humor were kind of stupid and they were all over the place. Well, the cops were all over the place. Yeah. And they were supposed to be.

Hockey Jesus: Uh, yeah, they were supposed to be, they were supposed to be campy. That's the, that was, that's what the role they were playing.

Technical Director: I'm going to, I'm going to leave it with this. This is what I'm going to leave it with. I think this series could have been much better had it had maybe two or three more episodes. They left meat on the bone. That's right. They left too much meat on the bone. It's a lot to unpack. That's right. And it's spraying my nuts.

Hockey Jesus: There you go.

Grand Schwalbini: Well, hopefully you can get up from it.

Technical Director: That's right.

Grand Schwalbini: Thank you for watching. We still have two big yeses for the perfect couple and one sourpuss.

Technical Director: All right, guys, that's it for the Sports Porch Black and Gold Edition this week. I want to thank you if you've been watching the video live on Facebook, all over the world, Instagram, LinkedIn, X, and YouTube. And of course, I am going to drop this podcast in about 15 minutes right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcasts.

Hockey Jesus: Taylor Swift's in the house.

Technical Director: Alrighty, guys. Thanks for that, Mike. Have a good week, Jeff. Thanks for watching. For the Grand Schwabini, Hockey Jesus, I'm your TD, and I am out.